Lin Yuhui's inner restlessness and desires drove his actions. He drove to the local welfare home and registered his intention to adopt. Single men adopting girls required a forty-year age gap, so he could adopt a girl of five or six—perfect, just enough to fill the void left by losing his daughter at that age. However, there were no girls available for adoption at the time, so he simply left his contact information and basic details.
林语晖内心的焦躁与欲望驱使着他的行动,开车来到了当地福利院,做了收养意愿的登记.单身男性收养女孩要求有四十岁的年龄差距,所以他可以收养五六岁的女孩,很好啊,正好可以弥补他失去女儿那个时间段.只是当时没有女孩待收养,只是做了个人联系方式和基本信息登记.
As he finished the process and was leaving, a staff member asked,
"There's a five-year-old boy with a slight deformity in his right ear. Would you like to adopt him?"
当完成过程,离开的时候,工作人员问,
"现在有一个五岁男孩,右耳廓外形有点缺陷,你愿意收养吗?"
Without a moment's hesitation, Lin Yuhui blurted out,
"I don't adopt boys."
林语晖丝毫没有犹豫脱口而出,
"我不收养男孩."
It was almost a reflex. By 2024, society had seen too many reports of men who married divorced women with sons ending up raising another man's child—not only losing their money and home, but some even being beaten up in their old age by their hot-blooded stepson. These examples had become ingrained in the male psyche. Society mocked Dorgon's fate as a cautionary tale for men. Lin Yuhui, of course, was also afraid of raising someone else's son, only to get beaten when he grew old.
如同是条件反射一样,社会到了2024年,已经有太多报道娶离异带男孩女人的男性同胞给别人养儿子的翻车案例了,不仅人财两空,被赶出自己的家,还有人在年老体衰的时候被血气方刚的继子揍.这些实例已经在男性人群心中形成了固有烙印.社会上都在讽刺多尔衮的人生遭遇,当作男人的反面教材.林语晖他当然也怕把别人的儿子养大了,自己老了挨揍.
Driving home, it suddenly dawned on him: whether it was women or girls, what he wanted was what others wanted too. How could there be a girl waiting in an orphanage just for him? That was the difference between people who understand the world in half a second and those who spend half a lifetime without getting it.
开车回家的路上,他一瞬间明白了,不论是女人还是女孩,自己想要的别人当然也想要,怎么会有女孩在孤儿院等着自己去领养呢?这就是半秒钟看懂世界的人和活了半辈子还没看懂世界的人的差别.
So it was better to find someone he was fated to meet. Fate meant that she would fancy him and be willing to live with him. If not for financial reasons, then for emotional ones. That meant she had to have her own judgment and free will—so she couldn't be too young. Besides, he had no money. If any girl was willing to live with him, it would have to satisfy some psychological need of hers. That left only one possibility.
所以还是自己寻找有缘人吧.所谓的有缘分,那就是对方能看上自己,愿意跟自己生活.如果不是经济上的,那就是精神上的.也就是说这个人要有自己的判断,有自我意志,这样的话年纪就不能太小了.另外自己也没有钱,如果有哪个女孩愿意跟自己生活那一定是满足了她某些心理需求,这样的话就只剩一种情况了.
Back home, Lin Yuhui changed all his social media account names to "Looking for a girl with an Electra complex." He chuckled to himself—it felt a bit like wishful thinking. He suddenly recalled a scene from the movie *Red Sparrow* where they trained "swallows" to analyze human needs. In the training, the protagonist was asked to analyze the target's core need, while other trainees said the man who wanted to adopt a little girl was after lust or pedophilic perversion. But she, with her feminine sensitivity, said: he wants a daughter.
回到家林语晖把自己的社交帐号名都改了,改成了,"找恋父情结女",呵呵,有点想美事的味道,他忽然想起了电影"红雀"中训练燕子分析人性需求的桥段,训练中要求女主角分析目标的核心需求,与其他受训者说的那个收养小女孩的人想要肉欲或者变态恋童癖.不一样的是,她以自己女性的敏锐说出了,他想要女儿.
Lin Yuhui knew there was a type of girl with an Electra complex. Just like the small percentage of people with homosexual tendencies, it was an objectively existing phenomenon. Academic research had also found that their existence might, in some ways, benefit the group's reproductive success in the evolution of the species, so a small amount of that genetic expression had been preserved in the population by nature. In a wildlife documentary, he had once seen two male swans guarding their territory together. Of course, one of them was gay—it wouldn't compete for a mate with the other, but the two males together against a heterosexual pair would utterly rout the rivals, sending them fleeing, while the female swan on their side didn't even have to lift a wing.
林语晖知道有一种女孩存在恋父情结,就如同有极少一部分人群中存在的同性恋倾向一样,都是客观存在的现象,学术研究中也发现他们的存在可以从某些方面在种族发展中是有利于群体成功增加繁殖的,所以这一部分少量基因表达被大自然保留在了群体之中.曾经在动物世界节目里就有两只雄性天鹅一起守护领地,当然了,其中一只是同性恋,它不会和另一只争夺配偶,但是两只雄性天鹅对付其他的一雄一雌,真的是把对方打得屁滚尿流,直接逃跑,而这边的雌性天鹅都不用出手.
But for humans, clearly, they were not well-suited to modern small-family structures, nor to mainstream social morality—especially in a traditionally-minded society like China's. All in all, Chinese society was relatively tolerant of them; as long as you didn't march in the streets, no one interfered in private matters—unlike some conservative regions in the US where homosexuals, especially men, were hunted and killed.
不过显然对于人类来讲,他们不太适合现代社会的小家庭,也不符合主流社会道德,尤其是中国这样的传统社会价值观.总体上来讲中国的社会对他们还是比较宽容的,只要你别上街游行,私下的没人干涉这些人的事,不像美国有些保守地区会猎杀同性恋,尤其是男性的.
However, due to China's national circumstances, the shame felt by individuals led to a lack of discussion on the topic, combined with strict controls on related public discourse, which created certain drawbacks and personal tragedies.
但是由于中国国情之下,个体出于羞耻感缺乏这方面的讨论以及社会对相关话题讨论的严控,也产生了一些弊端和个人悲剧.
The memory that struck Lin Yuhui most deeply was a heartbreaking news story from 2016 about a single mother in Hangzhou who, believing her five-year-old daughter was shameless for pulling down a boy's shorts to look inside, accidentally beat the girl to death while disciplining her.
林语晖记忆最深刻的就是2016年一位杭州单亲妈妈因为女儿拉开男孩短裤,朝里面看,认为女儿不知羞耻,在管教孩子的过程中,失手把5岁的女儿打死了的新闻,让人痛心.
He himself had been five once, running around all day in single-layer shorts without feeling any shame. It was only later, at some unknown point, that shame appeared—but by then he had long stopped dressing like that.
他自己也从5岁的时候过来过,那时候穿着单层的短裤成天在外面跑,也没觉得羞耻.直到后来不知什么时候才会有羞耻感,不过那时候早已经不那么穿了.
Such a young child had no concept of shame. Although innate evil couldn't be ruled out, in Lin Yuhui's view, that little girl was simply acting out of curiosity. A child's curiosity was their nature; without it, they would be mediocre and useless. If that little girl had grown up successfully, she might today be a good student, perhaps with a love for biology.
那么小的孩子根本还不知道什么是羞耻,虽然不能排除天生恶种,但是在林语晖看来,那个小女孩最多是出于她的好奇心.孩子的好奇心是他的天性,如果没有那才说明是庸才是废物,如果那个小女孩成功长大了,或许她今天已经是个成绩不错的学生了,可能她喜欢生物学.
In Lin Yuhui's eyes, it was clear that the single mother had projected her own thoughts onto the child—maybe even displaced her own hatred of failed relationships with the opposite sex onto the little girl who didn't yet understand what "opposite sex" meant. That was precisely why Lin Yuhui was skeptical of single mothers raising children, especially daughters. The daughter would not only likely repeat her mother's life mistakes but also might compound the mistakes caused by the mother's own errors, plus female competition. Tragic.
在林语晖看来,很显然那个单亲妈妈把她的思想投射到了孩子身上,或许更多的是把她自己与异性交往的失败的憎恶,归咎到了那个还不懂什么是异性的小女孩身上.这也是林语晖很不看好单亲妈妈带孩子的原因,尤其是单亲妈妈带女孩.她不但很可能会遭遇她妈妈同样的人生失误,还有可能叠加她妈妈的失误造成的失误再加上雌竟.悲剧.
For Lin Yuhui, finding a willing "goddaughter" was more like making a wish—waiting for fate to arrange it. After all, he neither burned incense nor prayed to Buddha. In his spare time, apart from work, he scrolled through short videos, looking for content that interested him, and interacted socially and entertainingly with netizens.
对于林语晖来说,找一个愿意跟自己的干女儿更像是许愿,等着老天给安排吧,反正自己也不烧香也不拜佛,有那时间除了工作之余还是刷短视频,找自己想了解的内容,和网友社交娱乐互动.
Without a good teammate, he would play two-player matches using two phones by himself, controlling two accounts—a couple's duo. He would move into the safe zone together, covering each other. When one character died, he generally knew where the shots came from and could avenge himself with the other account. It was like sharing vision between two teammates—a manual high-tech setup. If he could ambush and take out one opponent first, victory was almost certain. The only downside was that sometimes he couldn't manage both at once.
没有好的队友就自己开两个手机打双人局,一个人操纵两个号,情侣号,伏地魔进圈互相掩护,一个人死了基本上知道是哪里打枪,可以用另一个号给这个报仇.就相当于两个队友共享视角画面,人工高科技.要是能先阴掉对方一个人,那就稳赢了,缺点就是有时候忙不过来.
In the past two years of scrolling through short videos, after watching too much prophecy and fantasy content, he encountered many people boasting about "Azi, Azi"—the supposed greatest Chinese savior about to appear, to deliver the people from calamity. Lin Yuhui would leave comments teasing them:
刷短视频近两年什么预言,玄幻内容看多了就会遇到好多人吹嘘什么"阿紫,阿紫的",就是那个中国最大救世主要出世,什么拯救苍生于水火.林语晖就在留言区里留言逗他们,
"What's wrong with you guys? Can't you get anything straight? I already 'appeared as the savior' once in 2023, and now in 2024 you're still saying I'm about to appear? What, are you going to stuff me back inside and have me appear again?"
"你们咋整的?还有没有点准儿?23年我都出世一把了,现在24年你们还叫我出世,咋地你们还能把我塞回去再出世一把啊?"
Lin Yuhui never believed that a great sage was needed to save his personal life. After all, one had to work hard to solve one's own difficulties. Life's lessons were one's own business—that's what his life experiences had taught him. As the saying goes, heaven helps those who help themselves. If you don't work hard, you won't catch the opportunities even if fate hands them to you. So he enjoyed making fun of people who pinned their hopes on others. But from another angle, this slightly sarcastic tone was itself a kind of wake-up call—he hoped that fated readers would understand and see the light.
林语晖从不认为拯救到个人生活需要哪个大圣贤,毕竟自己的生活还要自己努力去解决自己遇到的困难,人生课程本来就是自己的事情,生活的经历就是这么教他的.俗话说天助自助者,自己不努力,老天爷给你安排机会你也接不住.所以他就喜欢拿那些把希望寄托在别人身上的人开涮.不过从另一个角度看,这样略显嘲讽的语气未尝不是一种警醒,希望有缘人能看懂醒悟吧.
After dinner, in his spare time, he no longer played the "chicken dinner" game as obsessively as before. The game, where people didn't dare to speak, had lost its social and entertainment functions. He just logged in—his entire squad consisted of his own accounts, so no one would report him. Of course, his account names had been changed to "Looking for an Electra complex daughter."
晚饭后的工作之余他也不再像以前总是玩吃鸡捧杯的游戏了,话都不敢说的游戏里已经没了社交和娱乐的功能了,他只是挂号,一个满编队都是自己的号,这样就没人举报自己了.当然了,账号名已经改成了找恋父情结女儿.
The extra time allowed him to go online and discover new content. Recently, information about an alien from the Pleiades named Zavaroni had become very popular. She was a female pilot. During her exchanges with an Earth interviewer, she shared a lot of first-hand information that had never been touched upon before. This included her species' self-introduction, their views on biology and artificial intelligence, the extraterrestrial humans and creatures they knew, as well as her understanding of interstellar navigation and timelines—because she was a pilot capable of traveling through time and space.
多出来的时间他又可以去网上发现新的内容了,近期有来自昴宿星的外星人扎娃罗尼的信息非常流行.她是一名女性飞行员,在与地球人采访者交流的过程中介绍了很多之前从没有涉及的一手资料.包括她的种族自我介绍,以他们的视角对于生物学和人工智能的看法,他们所了解的外星人类和生物,以及他的星际导航和关于时间线的理解,因为她就是一名可以穿越时空的飞行员.
Although Lin Yuhui had seen a lot of information from various sources online—former CIA agent leaks, Ra channeling, interviews with inner-Earth dwellers, the Martian boy, the woman from Venus, and domestically the Meng Zhaoguo incident, etc.—Zavaroni's information seemed different. She wasn't just narrating her professional experiences; she also expressed her personal views and values. That struck Lin Yuhui as distinct from the others. Moreover, analyzing some of what she said seemed very helpful for understanding how the universe truly operates.
虽然林语晖已经在网上看到了很多来源的信息,什么CIA前特工爆料,Ra通灵信息,地心人访谈,火星男孩,来自金星的女人,国内的有孟兆国事件,等等,但是扎娃罗尼的信息听起来似乎不仅仅是在叙述她的职业经历和经验,还有她个人的看法与价值观,这一点让林语晖觉得与之前的很不同.并且分析她所讲述的一些内容似乎对于理解宇宙是真正如何运行的很有帮助.
In this world, even the 1947 Roswell incident, more than half a century later, was still being hidden from the public. Lin Yuhui had no doubt that deeper physical theories and technologies had been mastered, but they were not released to the public, not updated in encyclopedias, not taught in schools—not even mentioned by name. And Zavaroni's information corroborated this well, as she also touched on related content.
这个世界上,就连1947年的罗斯威尔事件,半个多世纪过去了,都还在对公众遮遮掩掩,林语晖毫不怀疑有更深层的物理方面的理论和技术已经被掌握了,但是不对公众开放更新在百科全书里,不会在院校里教授给公众,甚至连名字都不会提及.而扎娃罗尼的信息也很好地印证了这一点,因为她也提到了相关内容.
Though Lin Yuhui was already old, with no desires left for women, and no way to find a daughter, his thirst for knowledge remained young.
虽然林语晖已经老了,对于女人已经无欲无求了,对于女儿也无处可求了,可是他那颗求知的心依然年轻.
（Translated by DeepSeek）