Naruto, If You Don't Roll, What Kind of Hokage Are You?
"Ramen's ready!"
The familiar, cheerful voice rang out as Uncle Ichiraku emerged from behind the counter, carrying several steaming bowls of freshly prepared ramen. The rich aroma of broth instantly filled the small shop, cutting through the quiet of the late night.
After a whole day of exhausting training, this moment felt like paradise.
Naruto's eyes lit up immediately. Without waiting for the steam to fade, he grabbed his chopsticks and began shoveling noodles into his mouth at lightning speed, completely ignoring the heat.
"Slow down, you idiot…" Jiraiya said, frowning unconsciously as he watched.
Naruto spoke with his mouth half full. "I've been starving all day!"
Kotetsu Hagane laughed. "Naruto really does train hard. He must be completely worn out. If it were me, I'd probably have collapsed already."
"Despite his age, his chakra reserves and endurance are frighteningly high," Jiraiya said, nodding approvingly as he took a bite of his own ramen. His eyes softened slightly. "The taste… it's exactly the same."
"Truly nostalgic," he muttered.
Uncle Ichiraku smiled, his eyes narrowing warmly. "That's right. You, Lady Tsunade, and Orochimaru used to come here all the time after missions."
His smile faded slightly as he sighed.
"What a pity… so much has changed."
Jiraiya's heart tightened. "…You're right."
"Lady Tsunade left the village and traveled the world," Ichiraku continued. "As for Orochimaru… he became a notorious traitor, a criminal ninja feared across the land."
"I even heard that he secretly returned to the village recently. Who knows what kind of trouble he's planning…"
"But seeing you back here, Jiraiya-sama, really puts my mind at ease," Ichiraku said sincerely. "If anyone can deal with a monster like Orochimaru, it's you."
Naruto swallowed hard and looked up. "This perverted sage…" slurp "…is he really that amazing?!"
Ichiraku laughed. "Do I even need to answer that?"
"In the entire village, aside from Hokage-sama, there's no one who can compare to Jiraiya-sama."
Jiraiya laughed loudly. "See, Teuchi? You have excellent judgment!"
"Unlike some narrow-minded, spoiled brats who don't respect truly powerful adults."
Naruto frowned. "Can you blame me?!"
"You ordered people to spy on me the very first time we met! How was I supposed to have a good impression of you?!"
"Idiot! That was research!" Jiraiya snapped back.
Kotetsu chuckled. "By the way, Jiraiya-sama, are you still writing novels?"
"Of course," Jiraiya said proudly. "Writing is my greatest hobby. I travel the world to gather inspiration."
"Writing?" Naruto stared at him. "This deranged sage can actually write?!"
Uncle Ichiraku laughed again. "Of course he can! Jiraiya-sama's Icha Icha Paradise series is a massive bestseller throughout the ninja world!"
Naruto froze.
"…Ah."
"…Ah?!"
"You perverted sage!" Naruto shouted. "You're the one who wrote that Icha Icha book Kakashi-sensei is always reading?!"
Jiraiya blinked, then grinned confidently. "Really?"
"I didn't expect Kakashi to have such refined taste!"
Naruto scowled. "I get it now. Those kinds of disgusting novels are only suitable for adults like you."
"If you're openly perverted, then Kakashi-sensei is the kind who's secretly perverted!"
Jiraiya smacked him on the head.
"You little brat! Why are you saying such brutally honest things?!"
Laughter echoed throughout Ichiraku Ramen.
Since someone else was supposedly paying, Naruto naturally showed no restraint. He ate bowl after bowl—seven, then eight—until he could barely move.
He leaned back, rubbing his swollen stomach, and let out a long, satisfied burp.
"Ahh… I'm full."
"That was amazing."
"Thanks for the treat, Perverted Sage!"
"…Huh?"
Naruto turned his head.
The seat beside him was empty.
"Where did that perverted sage go?!"
Uncle Ichiraku scratched his head. "He said he drank too much and went out to get some fresh air."
Ayame laughed softly. "Fresh air? He clearly ran away."
Naruto immediately realized what had happened and exploded in anger.
"That damned old man! He said he'd treat me—so why am I paying with my own money?!"
Kotetsu hesitated. "Naruto… how about I cover it for you…?"
Naruto immediately refused. "How could I let Uncle Kotetsu pay after helping me all day?!"
"This is all that perverted sage's fault!"
"…Alright, alright, I'll pay."
With a pained expression, Naruto pulled out his frog-shaped wallet and reluctantly handed over several large bills.
Ichiraku chuckled. "Dealing with Jiraiya-sama isn't that easy."
"Be careful around him, Naruto."
Naruto snorted. "Now I know exactly what kind of person he is!"
After saying goodbye, Naruto thanked Kotetsu once more and stormed off toward home.
But from the shadows, Jiraiya emerged once again.
"Jiraiya-sama?" Kotetsu said with a wry smile. "Since you were still here, why let Naruto pay?"
"This is called tempering," Jiraiya replied seriously.
"If he doesn't experience things like this, how will he grow?"
"Anyway… what do you think of Naruto?"
Kotetsu answered honestly. "At first, I didn't like him much. But after seeing his talent and work ethic, I really can't hate him."
"So that's how it is…" Jiraiya smiled faintly.
"That boy truly possesses frightening potential."
"Did you return because of Orochimaru?" Kotetsu asked.
"Not exactly," Jiraiya shook his head. "It's mainly for Naruto. Though Orochimaru is also a concern."
"With less than a month until the Chunin Exam finals… how do you plan to train him?"
Jiraiya sighed. "I had plans, but that brat shattered all of them."
"I wanted him to first gain a basic understanding of the Nine-Tails. The chakra is right there, yet he stubbornly refuses to use it."
Kotetsu's heart tightened. "He doesn't want to rely on it, but… Naruto is still the Nine-Tails' Jinchuriki."
"I know," Jiraiya said calmly. "We'll take it step by step. Tonight, I'll figure out the most suitable training path for him."
Kotetsu nodded. "With you here, Jiraiya-sama, the whole village feels safer."
"Don't say such boring things."
"Yes…"
That Night
Naruto returned home and resumed his intense training.
Following Kakashi's plan, he prepared for various combat scenarios while strengthening himself in every aspect.
At this point, Naruto had already formed a three-dimensional combat style, combining Taijutsu, Ninjutsu, and feints.
What he needed now was to fuse them completely into something that was uniquely his own.
He also carefully reviewed the Genjutsu resistance training he had practiced earlier that day.
Tomorrow, he planned to hunt down that perverted sage and make him compensate for his crimes.
"Damn it… if he doesn't teach me some powerful Ninjutsu, I'll never forgive him!"
With those thoughts, Naruto soon fell asleep.
Elsewhere
Jiraiya sat alone in another tavern, drinking quietly as he pondered Naruto's future.
His original plan had been simple: help Naruto understand the Nine-Tails, guide him in controlling its chakra, then teach him the Summoning Technique.
With that alone, the Chunin Exams would pose no problem.
But Naruto had interrupted him from the very beginning.
"Wind Release Chakra Mode?"
"…That's an incredible idea."
"But it's not something achievable in three to five years."
Jiraiya recalled Naruto's battles from earlier that day—his strengths, his weaknesses, his instincts.
Jiraiya himself had never been a natural genius.
What brought him to the pinnacle of the ninja world was persistence, experience, and lessons accumulated step by step.
"…Should I teach him the Rasengan now?"
"But that might not suit Naruto either."
Jiraiya knew exactly why Minato Namikaze had created the Rasengan.
It was a pure Ninjutsu.
Minato's fighting style relied on instant teleportation and delivering a decisive blow.
When a normal kunai wasn't enough, the Rasengan became the perfect answer.
Its advantages were clear.
Instant activation.
No hand seals.
Overwhelming destructive power.
Jiraiya raised his cup and sighed.
"…What kind of Hokage will you become, Naruto?"
Advance Chapters avilable on patreon (Obito_uchiha)