Kobeni woke up in the middle of the night, shivering from the cold. A sense of fear gnawed at her.
That flirty male coworker had disappeared without a trace.
Her mentor of nearly half a year, Himeno, hadn't said a single word since returning. She just sat silently in the corner, lost in thought, unresponsive to anything.
Absentmindedly, Kobeni took a bite of her cold rice ball. The grains were so hard they were difficult to swallow.
She sighed. "Man, I want a hamburger."
Regret always hits hardest when you finally have a moment to breathe.
Thinking of hamburgers brought back memories—how she'd only eaten one once. Well, technically, she'd only taken a single bite from her sister's.
It had tasted amazing.
The light above them had been warm and yellow, snow falling softly outside the window, the hum of the air conditioner filling the silence.
It was Christmas Eve. Her father had some urgent business, so he'd dropped her and her sister off at a fast-food place, bought them one hamburger, and left in a hurry.
Before leaving, he'd specifically reminded her sister to share fairly.
Her sister said the fairest way was one bite each, then graciously offered the first bite.
Kobeni had been touched—so much that she shyly leaned in and took a small bite.
That warm, fuzzy feeling shattered the moment her sister took a monstrous bite right after.
She panicked and opened her mouth wide, trying to get her fair share on the second round.
Her sister said, "You got the first bite, so now it's my turn to start the second round. That's fair, right?"
Then she took an even bigger bite.
And… that was the end of the hamburger.
Kobeni sulked, glaring across the table at a nearby family—a young couple and their little boy.
They'd ordered a mountain of food. The boy ate with pure joy, shouting "Yummy!" after every bite, over and over again.
Her sister muttered curses under her breath, annoyed by the noise.
But Kobeni thought it was normal. If she could eat that much, she'd probably be shouting too.
The parents looked happy watching their son enjoy himself. They each took a few bites of their burgers, then shook their heads and set them aside.
She couldn't remember whether it was the father or the mother who said it:
"Hamburgers only taste good when you're a kid. Once you grow up, they don't hit the same."
So little Kobeni had decided right then—she'd eat another hamburger before she grew up.
But time flew. She was twenty now and had never set foot in a fast-food restaurant again.
"Twenty… does that count as grown-up?"
Kobeni sighed and muttered to herself, "Of course it does. I'm an adult now. Too bad… guess I'll never get to eat a good hamburger again in this life."
She took another gloomy bite of her rice ball.
Then froze.
She blinked, took another bite in disbelief.
"Hamburger!!!" she screamed.
The rice ball tasted exactly like that long-lost hamburger from her childhood.
She wanted to tell Himeno, but worried she might be imagining it and look stupid, so she took another bite to confirm.
Yup. Hamburger.
"Himeno-senpai! Do you want a hamburger?" Kobeni grinned, holding out the half-eaten rice ball like a dog baring its teeth.
Then she realized how weird that looked and quickly rummaged through her torn-up bag to pull out a fresh one.
"You eat it," Himeno said with a small laugh—the first sound she'd made in hours.
"It's fine, I've got more," Kobeni said, shaking her shabby backpack to prove it.
Himeno shook her head. "You go ahead. I'm not hungry."
"Okay, but if you get hungry, tell me."
Kobeni finished the first rice ball and tore open another wrapper. She paused before taking a bite.
"Ice cream," she whispered.
Then she started laughing.
"No way. No way—what?! Ice cream!!!"
Her eyes lit up as she kept eating.
"Steak!"
"Tuna!"
"Crab!"
"Barbecue!"
…
"Okay, I'm stuffed."
Kobeni leaned back against the rock wall, completely satisfied.
"This must be a dream. Hahaha."
She shifted to get more comfortable.
"Huh?"
Just as she was about to close her eyes, a gray shadow pressed against the wall caught her eye.
As she stared, its details became clearer and clearer.
"KOBENI—!!!"
"AHHH!" She jumped in fright.
The shadow shouted furiously, "How could you eat all my Imperial Feast Rice Balls?!"
Still shaken, Kobeni stammered, "I-I-Imperial… what?"
"They grant the eater any food they wish for! Not even Doraemon could make something like that!"
"Not even… Doraemon?"
"Pay up! A million yen each!"
"O-one m-million yen?! Each?!" Kobeni felt her whole world collapse.
"Of course! Those were the culmination of thousands of years of royal culinary research from the Grand Japanese Court! You've eaten it all! The entire culinary lineage of Japan is gone! Humanity's progress has stopped! The Earth is doomed! What are you gonna do about it?!"
"S-seriously?!"
"Of course! As the last prince of the Great Dynasty, I won't forgive you so easily!"
"C-can I fix it by paying you back?"
"Sure. Seven of them—seven million yen."
"Ah! S-six! Only six had flavor!" she protested.
"Fine. Six million then."
"S-s-six million… n-no! Only one had flavor…" her voice trailed off to a whisper.
"Deal."
"Really?"
"Prepare yourself."
"Prepare for what?"
"I, Hoshino D. Roger, hereby declare—under the sacred name of my Empire—I'm suing you in international court! Prepare to face the Eighteen Supreme Tortures of our five-thousand-year civilization!"
The shadow cackled maniacally.
"Five thousand years? Tortures?!" Kobeni cried. "Wait! I-I'll pay you back, okay?! Please—ahhh!"
Crack.
Darkness split open.
Under the flickering firelight, Kobeni's slender body was curled up tight. Her willow brows were drawn into a trembling frown, eyes red and watery, on the verge of tears.
Hoshino smirked in satisfaction and snapped his fingers.
Kobeni jolted, her expression blank for a few seconds before suddenly standing up straight.
She bent forward, fists clenched. "How could a rice ball cost a million yen?! You think I'm stupid?!"
"Oh?"
Hoshino's half-smile made her falter.
"B-but it did taste real… ugh! Still! No way it's worth that much!"
Her voice got smaller the longer she spoke.
Hoshino lunged, grabbing her arm. "Trying to deny it?!"
Kobeni turned away, shrinking back, clearly trying to weasel out of it.
Hoshino chuckled darkly. "Fine then. I'll show you one of the Eighteen Supreme Tortures—'Leave the Father, Keep the Son!'"
"AHHHHH!!!"
The two of them went back and forth for several ridiculous minutes until Kobeni was exhausted, panting heavily.
Only then did Hoshino laugh and reveal the truth.
"It was all the Devil's power. I controlled your brain and altered your perception. That's why you thought the rice balls tasted like hamburgers."
Kobeni stood frozen, completely dumbfounded.
"Even the part where you believed they cost a million yen each—that was me too."
"Whaaa…"
"Fun, huh? A humble commoner caught stealing from the royal kitchen, caught by the sharp-tongued prince—parentheses, arrogant version."
Hoshino grinned proudly. "If you'd knelt down and said, 'Please, my lord, I'll do anything to make it up to you, just spare me this once!' you would've unlocked the side route—ultimate pervy mode."
"…" Kobeni didn't even bother responding.
Hoshino didn't mind. He'd already had his fun.
"Alright, let's go. My business here's done. We can leave now."
"…"
"Not moving?"
"Apologize to me."
"What? Oh, you're serious?"
Hoshino sighed and started explaining their situation.
"I don't believe you," Kobeni said, pouting.
"Bye then." He turned and started walking off.
But he hadn't gone far before he froze.
Kobeni's nervous face peeked up at him. "You're serious?"
"What do you think?"
"Then let's go!"