Chapter 85: The Desktop of Destiny
The Bureau was usually shielded from the "Prime Reality" by several layers of metaphor and 7.5% sheer denial. But at 14:00 Cycles, the ceiling didn't just display the vellum sky—it became a Giant Silver Mirror that didn't reflect the lobby. Instead, it showed a blurry, titan-sized view of a wooden surface covered in "Relics of Creation."
"Commissioner!" Assistant Yue buzzed, her optical sensors zooming in until they whirred. "THE. CEILING. HAS. BECOME. A. PORTAL. TO. THE. 'OVER-WORLD'. THAT. IS. THE. AUTHOR'S. DESKTOP. WE. ARE. LOOKING. AT. THE. SOURCE. OF. THE. INK."
The View from the Page
The staff of Section C-7 stood in stunned silence, staring up at the celestial clutter:
A Coffee Mug the size of a stadium, stained with the "Dregs of Inspiration."
A Mechanical Keyboard that sounded like rolling thunder every time a key was struck.
A Crinkled Wrapper that Ao Bing insisted was a "Holy Relic of Sustenance."
"It's... it's so messy," Pip whispered, their eyes wide. "The Author doesn't use a filing system! There are sticky notes everywhere! How does the universe even function without a 7.5% margin for error?"
"It doesn't," Ne Job muttered, adjusting his spectacles. "That's why we exist. We're the cleanup crew for that chaos."
The Caffeine Intervention
Suddenly, a giant, fleshy pillar descended from the sky—the Author's hand. It reached for the coffee mug, but the hand was shaking. The "Narrative Sun" flickered erratically.
"The Author has had too much caffeine!" The Muse cried, her hair flashing a jittery, over-stimulated yellow. "The prose is getting twitchy! If they keep drinking, the next chapter will be written in all-caps and half the sentences won't even—"
"I can fix it!" Pip shouted. Before Ne Job could stop them, the intern had climbed onto the Great Mainspring and was waving their very small wrench at the ceiling. "I'll just reach through the portal and nudge the mug away! I'll 'Edit' the caffeine intake!"
"Pip, no!" Ne Job lunged for them. "You can't touch the Prime Reality! You'll cause a Fourth Wall Collapse!"
The 7.5% Spill
Pip's wrench didn't touch the mug, but the "Intent" was enough. The giant mug tipped slightly. A single drop of "Author-Strength Espresso" fell through the ceiling.
It didn't fall like water. It fell like a Meteor of Pure Energy. If it hit the floor, it would supercharge the Bureau's logic until everyone was moving at 1000x speed, eventually burning out the story in a single paragraph.
The Semicolon Dam
Ne Job realized he couldn't stop the drop. He had to Delay it.
He pulled out the Semicolon. He didn't fire a staple; he used the artifact to create a Temporal Pause. He held the Semicolon aloft, and the violet light expanded into a shimmering, translucent net.
The espresso drop hit the net. Sizzle.
The Semicolon didn't absorb the energy; it Filtered it. It turned the "Pure Jittery Caffeine" into "Measured Productivity." The drop slowed down, turning from a destructive meteor into a gentle, 7.5% stimulating mist.
The Return to the Draft
The Author's hand in the ceiling moved away, seemingly distracted by a cat or a different browser tab. The Silver Mirror clouded over, returning to the familiar, comforting vellum sky.
Ne Job stood in the center of the lobby, covered in a fine, coffee-scented dew. He felt 100% alert, but his heart wasn't racing.
LOG: CHAPTER 85 SUMMARY.
STATUS: Fourth Wall intact. Caffeine meteor neutralized.
NOTE: I have banned Pip from looking at the ceiling for the next 7.5 cycles.
OBSERVATION: It's better not to see the 'How' of creation. It makes the 'What' feel much more fragile.
P.S.: The Architect is currently trying to build a 'Shrine to the Giant Mug.' I've told him it's just a ceramic vessel, not a god.
The Muse leaned over his shoulder, her hair smelling faintly of French Roast. "You saved the Author from themselves, Ne Job. That's a bold move for a character."
Ne Job looked at the Semicolon. It was glowing with a caffeinated, wide-awake violet.
"Somebody has to keep the pen steady, Muse," Ne Job said. "Now, why is Assistant Yue sounding a 7.5% alarm and why has a Giant Silver Eraser appeared at the entrance of the Lobby and started rubbing out the floorboards?"