Chapter 86: The Great Deletion
The Bureau was accustomed to being overlooked, but it had never been Dismissed. At 15:00 Cycles, a sound like a low-frequency tectonic shift echoed through the Lobby. It wasn't a crash; it was a shush.
At the main entrance, a Giant Silver Eraser—the size of a luxury sedan and smelling of synthetic rubber and cold judgment—had manifested. It didn't speak. It simply moved, and wherever it touched, the world vanished into a powdery, white blankness.
"Commissioner!" Assistant Yue shrieked, her chassis vibrating so hard her rivets rattled. "WE. ARE. UNDER. CRITICAL. REVIEW. A. 'EXTERNAL. CRITIC'. HAS. LABELED. THIS. ENTIRE. ARC. AS. 'FILLER'. THE. ERASER. IS. HERE. TO. TRIM. THE. FAT. AND. WE. ARE. THE. FAT!"
The Vanishing Act
The Eraser wasn't just destroying property; it was removing Existence.
It rubbed against the Lobby Fountain, and the water turned into a rough pencil sketch before disappearing entirely.
It swiped at a row of Historical Trajectories, and seventy-five years of human achievement were reduced to a smudge.
Architect Ao Bing watched in horror as his left boot was erased. "My foot!" he wailed, hopping on his remaining golden sandal. "I'm becoming a 7.5% incomplete character!"
"It's not just the room!" The Muse cried, her hair turning a frantic, fading gray. "If we don't prove we're essential to the 'Core Plot,' we're going to be edited into a single, boring sentence!"
The 7.5% Substance
Ne Job looked at the Eraser. It was currently heading for the Great Mainspring. If the Mainspring was erased, the clockwork of the universe would stop—not because it broke, but because it had been "Cut for Time."
"Pip! The wrench! No, wait—the wrench is too small! Get me the 'Ink-Pot of Permanent Significance'!"
"I can't find it, Boss!" Pip yelled, currently clinging to a desk that was 50% transparent. "I think it was edited out in the last paragraph!"
Ne Job realized he couldn't fight an Eraser with logic. An Eraser only cares about Efficiency. He had to prove that the "Filler" was actually the "Foundation."
The Semicolon Stand
The Eraser lunged. Ne Job didn't dodge; he stood his ground and raised the Semicolon.
"You think we're unnecessary?" Ne Job roared at the featureless silver block. "You think the 'And' is a waste of space? Without the 'And,' there is no 'Then'! Without the 'Extra,' there is no 'World'!"
He didn't fire staples. He used the Semicolon to Connect the Erased to the Present. He touched the violet light to the white, blank spaces where the fountain and the trajectories used to be. The Semicolon acted as a Restoration Point.
The violet energy flowed into the white void, "Re-Writing" the Bureau back into existence. But this time, it wasn't just the old Bureau. It was 7.5% more detailed, filled with "Complex Sub-plots" that were too interesting to delete.
The Critic's Retreat
The Eraser paused. It vibrated with a sound like a frustrated sigh. In the face of such overwhelming Narrative Density, it couldn't find a "Clean Cut." The silver block began to shrink, turning into a standard-sized eraser that fell harmlessly to the floor with a tiny plink.
The Bureau solidified. Ao Bing's boot reappeared (though it was now a 7.5% more fashionable shade of teal). The Muse's hair regained its electric-neon blue.
The Archivist's Log
Ne Job picked up the tiny eraser and put it in his desk drawer, right next to the sentient paperclips.
LOG: CHAPTER 86 SUMMARY.
STATUS: Deletion averted. Bureau reinstated with 'High Interest' status.
NOTE: I've realized that 'Filler' is just a word people use for the parts of life they aren't paying attention to.
OBSERVATION: If you make yourself interesting enough, the Editor won't have the heart to cut you.
P.S.: Pip is currently trying to 'Erase' their late-fees from the Bureau cafeteria. I've told them the eraser only works on 'Conceptual Inessentials,' not debt.
The Muse leaned over his shoulder, her hair glowing with a satisfied violet. "You saved us again, Ne Job. We're officially 'Essential Reading' now."
Ne Job looked at the Semicolon. It was glowing with a dense, permanent violet.
"We're a necessary complication, Muse," Ne Job said. "Now, why is Assistant Yue sounding a 7.5% alarm and why has a Giant Silver Book-Jacket appeared around the Bureau, and why are we currently being shelved?"