I spent most of the afternoon in front of the mirror, changing clothes for no real reason. It wasn't a formal date, nor a special event. It was just my friends — the ones who knew every piece of my childhood, who knew my habits and even the secrets I thought I'd buried. Still, I wanted to look good. Maybe because, deep down, I needed to feel like the person I was before all this chaos.
I ended up choosing a light denim skirt, a short-sleeved airy blouse, and tied my hair back in a casual ponytail. I looked in the mirror and sighed. It wasn't glamorous, but it was me. And maybe that was enough.
When I got to the ice-cream shop in the central square, they were already there. Rosana saw me first: she jumped up and shouted my name with that enthusiasm that drew everyone's attention. Marina joined her, and in seconds we were wrapped in a tight hug, our three bodies nearly stumbling from the force.
— Oh my, it's been so long! — Rosana exclaimed, still holding my hand. — I thought you'd disappear forever into that college life!
Marina, calmer but with shining eyes, added:
— You haven't changed a bit, Helena. You just look more like a serious woman. — She laughed and hugged me again.
The questions started before we even sat down: how university was, how I was managing away from home, whether I'd made new friends, whether I was seeing anyone. I tried to answer everything, laughing, steering away when the topic edged too close to Rafael.
We sat at a table by the window, the ice-cream tubs brightening the table in shades of strawberry, pistachio and chocolate. It felt like stepping back in time: the three of us laughing about anything, telling childhood stories, remembering school days. Rosana joked about some old teacher, Marina rolled her eyes and nudged me under the table, and I laughed like I hadn't in a long time.
Spoonfuls of ice cream came and went in time with the conversation. Rosana, as always, couldn't stay quiet and unleashed the most scandalous stories.
— Guys, you have no idea what a disaster my last date was! — she began, waving her spoon in the air. — The guy ordered… tuna and banana pizza! Who in their right mind does that?
I almost choked on my ice cream.
— You're kidding!
— I wanted to stand up and leave, but Marina wouldn't let me be rude. — Rosana made a face, elbowing her friend.
Marina pretended to be offended but soon laughed.
— Of course not! That would ruin the whole date. Imagine me, trying to keep the conversation with his friend, and you getting up from the table over a tuna-and-banana pizza?
Rosana raised an eyebrow.
— What's wrong with that? Better alone than with a man who thinks tuna with banana is normal.
I burst out laughing.
— You two haven't changed a bit. You still fight like you're fifteen.
— We don't fight — Marina replied, with a mischievous smile. — But since we're on the topic… Helena, what about you? Spill it if you have a crush at college.
My cheeks burned immediately. Rosana arched her brows, conspiratorial, and added:
— Oh, Marina, you forgot? Helena's never even kissed anyone. If she has a crush, it's secret until she dies.
— How awful, you talk like I'm an antique! — I protested, laughing nervously, though I knew secrets between us didn't exist.
I almost dropped my spoon into the tub, but hurried to hide it.
— I don't have anything... — Rosana was already clapping.
— Ah, I knew it! — she laughed loudly. — That "no" sounded very suspicious.
— Very suspicious — Marina completed. — I bet someone makes your heart beat faster. Tell us!
I shook my head, trying to laugh too, though the heat rose in my cheeks.
— You two are the same gossipers as always.
— Confess, come on! — Rosana insisted, leaning over the table. — Is he blond? Dark? An engineer? A doctor?
— Tall, short? — Marina joined in. — Does he like soccer?
I covered my face with my hands, laughing.
— You have no shame! I came to catch up, not to be interrogated.
But before they could continue, laughter stuck in my throat. The memory of the kiss at the lookout hit me hard, so vivid it took my breath away. The warmth of Rafael's lips, the way he held me, as if I were the only person in the world at that moment. My hand trembled on the spoon, and my eyes began to fill with tears before I could stop them.
Marina and Rosana exchanged looks; the playful mood faltered. Marina touched my arm gently:
— Hey… what's wrong?
Rosana added, in a tone very different from before:
— You know you can tell us, right? Secrets have never been part of our deal.
I swallowed and forced a smile to hide it, but the lump in my throat wouldn't go away.
Rosana looked at me seriously for two seconds, then huffed and tapped the ice-cream tub with her spoon.
— Spill it, Helena! Who's the unlucky, the bastard, the… I don't know, the zero-rated guy who's making you suffer?
Marina gave a little laugh but squeezed my hand.
— Go on, friend. You know you can count on us.
It was as if the words were stuck, but suddenly they began to come out.
— His name is Rafael. He studies architecture, like me.
Rosana raised an eyebrow, attentive. Marina leaned forward, waiting.
— From the start of classes I only heard awful things about him. They said he was trouble, dangerous, that he picked fights over nothing. And… yes, he was distant, cold, always alone. But at the same time — I took a deep breath, finding courage — I noticed small things. He always fed a stray cat that showed up on campus. He helped me with the calculus test, always patient. More than once he protected me when I nearly spilled coffee on myself or tripped somewhere.
The two of them looked at each other.
— Of course you tripped — Rosana said, laughing. — Only you, Helena.
My lips curved into a shy smile. For a moment the weight on my chest felt lighter.
— The thing is… we did go out. — The words came lower. — We had dinner, and he was perfect. Kind, attentive… completely different from what people say. Later he took me to a lookout. The whole city was at our feet. And he… kissed me.
Rosana's eyes widened, but before she could say anything, Marina covered her mouth in shock.
— Are you serious?
I nodded, my eyes filling with tears.
— I thought I had found something. That it was real. But the next day, everything changed. Things happened and he went back to being cold, distant… like nothing had happened.
Rosana huffed, indignant.
— What an idiot! — she cried. — First he wins you over, makes you believe he's different, and the next day turns into an ice block? I swear, if I cross paths with this Rafael, I'll give him a good slap.
— Rosana! — Marina scolded, holding her arm before she could make a move, then turned to me with a gentler look. — Friend… sometimes it's not about you. He might have a reason, something you can't imagine that makes him pull away. I'm not saying it excuses how he treated you, but maybe it's not indifference.
— There's more — I said, lowering my voice. — The police think he was involved in a robbery at a small market. The cameras caught someone who looked like him breaking the cash register at eleven at night. But I know where he was at eleven — I was with him. I could prove it. I wanted to go to the station to talk… but he wouldn't let me. He said I shouldn't get involved, that he'd handle it. After that he disappeared, got cold. He distanced himself like he was protecting me… or like he wanted to spare me. I don't know.
Marina closed her eyes for a moment, folding her hands in her lap.
— Wow. That's heavy. — She looked at me carefully. — Maybe he really is trying to protect you. Sometimes people step back to remove danger from the ones they love. It's not an easy or necessarily fair act, but it can come from wanting to care.
Rosana snorted, crossing her arms, impatience flashing in her eyes.
— Protecting? That's no excuse to disappear and leave you with a tight heart. Want advice? — She leaned forward, eyes gleaming with mischief. — Tease him, Helena. Get close whenever you can, show up at his house out of nowhere, show a bit of skin just to see if he lasts. Men, when they like someone, don't resist for long. He might play the hard-to-get, but in the end he'll give in.
Marina suppressed a laugh, shaking her head.
— Rosana… you are blunt. But there's some truth: if he likes you, he won't stay distant forever.
I smiled, a small embarrassed smile. The idea of "provoking" Rafael made me blush.
I looked at the two of them — at Marina's sense and Rosana's loud courage — and felt something warm in my chest. It wasn't a ready-made solution, but it was a start.