Coming home felt like taking a deep breath after being underwater for too long. My parents pampered me as if I were still the little girl who cried over a scraped knee. Every detail welcomed me — the smell of food in the air, the familiar touch of the walls, even my room, exactly as I had left it. The bed was made, the pillow in its place. I wondered if I could still lie there and fall asleep without a single worry, like before.
A few moments later, I heard soft knocks on the door. My mother came in slowly, carefully, and sat on the edge of the bed, as if afraid to disturb something fragile.— Tell me, sweetheart… how have your days at university been? Are you managing on your own? What's it like living away from home? Have you gotten used to it?
I smiled faintly, choosing my words. I told her a little about my college routine, about the tiny apartment, about the garden downstairs that reminded me so much of our backyard. But soon I shifted the focus, wanting to know about her.— And you? How's Dad? Has he been taking good care of himself? And you, Mom? You're not overworking yourself with the house, right? Still finding time to go to Mass on Sundays?
She laughed softly, answering each of my questions, and we stayed there talking as if no time had passed at all. For a few moments, it felt like I had never left.
After a while, she got up saying she'd go make dinner. I said I'd take a shower and then join her in the kitchen so we could keep talking.
But in the shower, the warmth of the water didn't bring comfort. On the contrary, the solitude of those walls hit me hard. It was there, when nothing distracted me, that my thoughts grew stronger. And as always, they dragged me back — to the landlord's house, the narrow hallway, to Rafael.
I walked quickly into the kitchen, as if my haste could chase away the thoughts that haunted me. The smell of garlic sizzling in the pan filled the air, wrapping me in instant comfort. My mother turned to me, her hair tied up carelessly, and smiled — the kind of smile that seemed to warm the entire room.— So, honey, does the shower here still take ages to heat up? — she asked, stirring with the wooden spoon as if nothing in the world could disturb that routine.
I pulled out a chair and sat by the table, resting my arms and watching her every movement. It was a scene I'd seen hundreds of times, yet in that moment it felt precious.— I didn't really notice — I said, laughing softly. — I think I was too eager to get here.
She gave me a quick look, still stirring the pan.— Did you tell Rosana and Marina you were coming? The girls will love to see you. Some small talk, laughter, going out a bit… it'd do you good.
I sighed, feeling a gentle tightness in my chest.— I forgot to tell them. But I'll call tomorrow.
My mother nodded, pleased, and just then the kitchen door opened. My father came in, taking off his jacket and pulling out a chair to sit beside me. He gave me two light pats on the back, in that clumsy way only he could.— So, kiddo? — he asked, resting his arms on the table. — Getting along well with Joaquim?
The name sounded strange to me. Joaquim… I always called him just "the landlord." I swallowed hard and forced a smile.— Yes, he's been very kind.
The conversation flowed naturally, and dinner started taking shape. The table filled with plates, cutlery, and glasses. The smell of homemade food spread through the kitchen, and for a moment, I realized just how much I'd missed that feeling. That — that was home.
Without thinking much, I said,— During exam season, Joaquim used to invite me to have lunch with them every day.
My mother gave me a look full of gratitude, as if that bit of news were a balm. My father nodded thoughtfully.— Joaquim has always been a good man. He was my most trusted employee at the construction company. It's a shame about what came later… his wife's death, his son going astray. I hope things are better now.
My heart tightened, and before I could stop myself, the words slipped out:— His son… he's in the same program as me. He's my senior.
The surprise on my father's face quickly softened into a sigh of relief.— That's good to hear. Glad the boy found a good path. When they left town, I worried about his future.
The words stung. Talking about Rafael brought back memories so tangled it was hard to breathe. I smiled, but inside, the weight returned. I changed the subject quickly.— As soon as we finish dinner, I'll call Rosana and Marina. I want to tell them I'm in town.
My mother clapped her hands, excited.— Perfect! You've seemed so down lately, sweetheart. I'm sure the girls will cheer you up.
I nodded, but my mind was already elsewhere. I smiled at them, but inside, my heart was split. Being there, surrounded by my parents' love, was the safest place in the world — and yet, part of me still reached for another house, another name, another gaze I wasn't sure I'd ever see the same way again.