I led Xiao Xue back toward home. The dog was finally quiet, walking slowly, clearly exhausted from having its pent-up energy released. While it probably wouldn't have torn the house apart like a Husky, it definitely wouldn't have been docile either.
I bought some food for it and a meal for myself. Going upstairs was mostly me dragging the dog; Xiao Xue was nearly趴ing on the ground, too tired to move.
Finally hauling it back to the living room, it immediately sprawled on the blanket, belly-up, tongue hanging out, looking like a dead dog.
"Haha... That's what you get for giving me trouble. Evil dogs meet their match," I chuckled triumphantly, looking at it. It just lay there motionless, not even bothering to acknowledge me.
Seeing its state, I got worried I'd over-exercised it, so I prepared some food and water and placed it in front of the dog.
It twitched its nose, extended its tongue, flipped over, and started eating.
Relieved, I opened my own meal and began to eat.
After eating, I checked WeChat and saw that Liu Xiaoyu still hadn't messaged. I prepared to wash up and go to sleep.
When I finished washing up and checked my phone, I saw a new message notification.
"Lin Xiaonan, are you really okay?"
I found the little pig avatar amusing. I glanced at Xiao Xue—it was already asleep. I went into my room, lay on the bed, and replied: "Why wouldn't I be okay? Are you imagining me to be too fragile? And please stop adding 'Xiao' to my name. I'm not 'little,' thank you."
"Oh..."
He sent an "oh" sticker.
"Did you suddenly start studying recently because of this too?"
His question made me pause, then I replied: "That's partly true."
The main reason was my own inner drive, I thought.
"What about the other part?"
"That would be me, finally striving to become strong!"
"Go for it, Lin Xiaonan on the offensive." He even added an emoji covering its mouth and laughing, clearly unaffected by my request.
"Send a voice message so I can hear you."
A moment later, he actually sent one. I clicked and listened: "Go for it, Lin Nan."
It was a standard message, nothing wrong with it, and it was his familiar voice. But I thought I heard other background noise—it sounded like a woman's voice, not his.
I felt like I'd heard that voice before. I thought for a long time and finally remembered.
"Isn't that Liu Xiaoyu's mom, Nangong Feng's voice?"
I listened again. The voice was very close. Connecting this with previous events, my heart skipped a beat.
I quickly messaged him: "Where are you right now?"
"In bed, about to sleep."
I immediately felt I understood. Nangong Feng's voice was so close, practically next to him. Does this mean Liu Xiaoyu, at his age, still sleeps with his mother?
This bold guess was hard to believe. Whether it was my own bias or not, I felt like Liu Xiaoyu was lying in his mother's arms, sleeping with her. It was quite a stimulating thought, but I still couldn't connect those two taboo words with the gentle, fragile Liu Xiaoyu.
"Sure enough, he's a little kid who hasn't been weaned," I mumbled, though those two words kept flashing in my mind.
I was just about to fall asleep when he suddenly messaged me: "By the way, do you know the bank card password?"
"Of course not." Speaking of which, Uncle Luo gave me that five-hundred-yuan card. I wanted to complain about his stinginess; the girl tonight gave me more than that.
"Didn't I tell you my password?"
"When? I never asked, did I?"
"Think about it carefully."
I suddenly got impatient. Why was he speaking in riddles too? I messaged: "I won't think. I don't know. When did you tell me, you brat?"
"Here's a hint: my phone."
That's when it clicked. He had lent me his phone that one time. Could his phone password be his bank card password? Is he that casual?
I thought back carefully.
"163169?"
"That's right! You're not that stupid. Let's not chat anymore; my mom wants me to sleep now. You can ask me the story behind this number another day. Goodnight."
"Tsk... this guy," I stroked my chin, thinking. Is he really sleeping with his mother?
I couldn't pinpoint my emotion, but linking it to my current situation, I felt a strange envy. After all, my mother hadn't even called me after all this time.
I wasn't using that old phone number anymore. I could have gotten a replacement SIM card, but after thinking it over, I got a new number instead.
Perhaps out of youthful defiance, or a self-proclaimed desire to truly break from the past, I had already decided not to initiate a call with her.
Yet, when I scrolled through my phone, I couldn't resist checking my mother's and sister's Moments (WeChat/QQ equivalent of social media feeds). I was always secretly keeping up with their lives, and tonight was no exception.
My mother rarely posted; her last post was last year. My sister, however, posted everything.
A moment later, when I saw a photo of an amusement park appear on both my mother's and sister's feeds, I broke down. I cursed myself for being an idiot. Why do I constantly seek things out to torment myself?
Tears streamed down my face, but I said nothing. I just silently blacklisted both of them.
I wouldn't be an idiot anymore. In that moment, I felt an unprecedented chaos, an overwhelming emotion surrounding me. I felt like I was caught in a torrent, beaten and bruised.
I felt like a rat peering into someone else's happiness. I was here, but I didn't belong here.
The next day, I woke up as usual. When I pushed myself up, my right hand landed on the pillow, which was damp.
I sighed softly, then got up and changed the pillow.
I washed up and went downstairs to buy breakfast.
Watching Xiao Xue devour a plain white bun, I felt it wasn't right.
I opened my phone and bought a large amount of premium dog food and an automatic feeder.
Watching the five hundred yuan instantly disappear, I couldn't help but sigh. Such expensive dog food! I wondered how many buns that could buy. When the dog food arrived, I was definitely going to taste it myself to see why it cost so much.
Since my injury hadn't completely healed, I didn't plan to go to school today. I just stayed home, reading and playing on my phone.
I spent the next few days like this.
It wasn't until Friday that my wounds had mostly healed. I removed the bandages, revealing some scabs. I sighed inwardly, hoping they wouldn't leave scars.
However, the deepest wound on my left hand wasn't fully healed; I figured it would take at least half a month.
I woke up very early on Friday, took a shower. Since one hand wasn't fully functional, bathing was difficult, but I hadn't showered in days and couldn't stand it anymore.
Afterward, I felt lighter and much more comfortable.
The dog food and automatic feeder had arrived. I loaded the dog food, set the timer, stroked Xiao Xue's head, opened the bathroom door, signaled it not to cause trouble in the house, and then headed straight for school.
At 6:30 AM, the sound of reading was already coming from the classroom. Thankfully, I came early and didn't waste time on the way, or I would have been late.
My classmates looked visibly surprised to see me back after so many days off.
"It's already Friday. Why do you always choose to show up on Friday?" a student behind me asked.
"Go away, you think I wanted to take time off?" I pointed to my left hand.
"Wow, man, what did you do? Peeking at some girl showering and got beaten up?"
"Stop talking nonsense."
I ignored him and went to my seat, glancing slightly at my desk-mate.
I felt a little awkward, and he seemed to feel the same.
He turned his head slightly so I couldn't see his face, holding a Chinese textbook and reading ancient poetry, only offering me a pale profile.
I didn't know how to start the conversation. I felt inexplicably guilty for making him run off in tears at the hospital. But while I was at fault, I was ultimately the one who got stabbed, and that made me feel slightly resentful.
The atmosphere between us was strange. Although we had made up on WeChat, the internet was one thing, and face-to-face was another.
There were still many things unresolved between us, things that hadn't been fully explained.
The knot between us clearly hadn't been untied.
For example, someone who is a veteran expert in all sorts of online posts might be a completely inexperienced virgin in real life. Like me.
So, Liu Xiaoyu and I just read independently, both deliberately avoiding turning towards the other. During this time, Bai Manwen came in to check morning reading, as usual.
She looked surprised when she reached my seat because I hadn't told her when I was returning. I sensed her gaze, looked up at her, and curved my lips into a smile. She immediately turned her eyes away, afraid to meet my gaze.
This feeling was exceptionally satisfying. In the past, Bai Manwen would have shown off her authority for a bit before leaving, always looking for an excuse to pick on me during morning reading. I was always her object for "killing the chicken to scare the monkeys."
But now, she was actively avoiding me, as if she had encountered a predator. This feeling gave me a sense of "the formerly oppressed now gets to sing songs of triumph and crack the whip." I felt vindicated, and the oppressive feeling in the classroom was significantly lessened. Only now did I realize the depth of the harm Bai Manwen had caused me. It also made me feel even less guilty about threatening her—that Mistress Extinction was no good.
Bai Manwen came in a few more times but deliberately avoided walking past my seat, only walking around the other students before leaving. She was clearly afraid of me.
After morning reading class ended, we could sit at our desks.
Sitting next to Xiaoyu, inhaling his pleasant scent, I still didn't know how to start a conversation with him. I felt hesitant, so I just kept my head down, organizing my books.
Just then, a soft, gentle voice came from beside me: "These are the assignments the teacher gave out over the last few days."
My heart instantly filled with joy. I smiled and looked over. Liu Xiaoyu was holding a stack of assignment books out to me, but his head was turned away, offering only a pale profile.
I reached out and took them, looking at his profile, and asked tentatively, "Xiaoyu, are you still mad?"
He didn't speak, just ignored me and turned his head even further away, leaving me with his back of his head.
I took the assignment books, remembering his red, teary eyes that day, and felt a pang of guilt. "I'm sorry. I was wrong that day. I said some hurtful things out of anger. Please don't take it to heart."
He still didn't speak, but I saw his hand clench into a fist.
I didn't press him further. I took out my books and started catching up on the homework.
Even if I had neutralized Mistress Extinction and she wouldn't mess with me, the other teachers were still serious, so I had to complete all my assignments.
He didn't speak to me for the first two classes. After the second class, following the exercise break, I returned to the classroom first. Seeing him return, I stood up to let him pass, watching him.
He kept his gaze down, silently returned to his seat, and still made no verbal or eye contact.
I sighed inwardly. This kid was genuinely hard to coax. I wondered which girl would ever be able to put up with him.
Then again, he was rich. Plenty of girls would be fighting over him. I didn't need to worry about him.
Liu Xiaoyu didn't speak to me until noon, which made me feel helpless. I really wanted to talk to him.
After lunch, I took out the medicine the doctor had prescribed, preparing to take it.
After all, my arm wasn't healed yet and still needed medication.
Liu Xiaoyu returned just then. I stood up to let him in. He saw the medicine in my hand, paused, and stared straight at my bandaged arm. Sensing his strange reaction, I quickly moved the medicine behind my back.
He said nothing, just quietly returned to his seat.
I got some water and took the medicine.
Afterward, I realized he was still staring at me.
"What's wrong?" His blue eyes were making me nervous. I swallowed hard.
He seemed to snap out of it, shifted his gaze, and said in a low voice: "It's not better yet?"
I grinned. "It's mostly fine. Only the stab wound on my arm is left. It was deep, so it'll take a while."
He didn't speak, but his hands gripped the edge of his clothes, his lips tightly pressed.
Seeing him like this, I was afraid he was going to cry again, so I quickly said gently, "It's okay. It'll heal soon."
His body started to tremble. He still didn't look at me, but his voice was clearly suppressing some emotion: "Then why did you get discharged early?"
"I..."
I fell silent. I was truly angry at the time. I didn't understand why he was always so unreasonable, constantly crying like a child. I was the one who got stabbed, yet he seemed to be the one suffering a thousand times more, as if he was the one who got hurt. Frustration welled up in me again, but seeing his aggrieved expression, I had to take several deep breaths to suppress my feelings.
Many students were already returning to the classroom. I was afraid that if I kept talking, he would lose control of his emotions—and I might too. So, I asked in a negotiating tone, "There are too many people here now. Can we talk properly after school?"
He didn't reply, neither refusing nor agreeing. He just silently turned his head away.
I went back to reading the book on my desk. The strange, quiet atmosphere between us returned, but beneath the surface, strong currents were moving.
We were both waiting for class to end.