"You expect me to believe that, you sneaky bastard?" Tsunade shot Ebara a glare.
"What now?" she asked.
Mikoto was frozen in fear, too scared to even cry.
Ebara's eyes gleamed. "Hero rescue? Gotta keep it going."
He whispered a plan to Tsunade, handing her a note to memorize.
Though Tsunade liked Ebara, the note's contents made her stomach turn.
Was this something a human could write?
Did Ebara have any shame?
"Your turn to shine," Ebara encouraged.
"Fine, let's get this over with," Tsunade said, face sour. "Any longer, and I'll puke so hard my Transformation Jutsu breaks."
"Alright," Ebara nodded.
He shouted, "I'm grabbing some disguise stuff to smuggle them out of Konoha!"
With that, he darted off, vanishing in a few leaps.
Tsunade, following his plan, placed Fugaku and Mikoto together.
Mikoto cautiously checked Fugaku's breathing.
Feeling his warm breath, her tense face relaxed.
"Don't worry, we won't kill you… yet," Tsunade said with a cruel grin.
Mikoto pleaded, "Please let us go! You know we're Uchihas. Name your price, we'll pay!"
Tsunade ignored her, silently counting time.
Ten minutes passed in eerie silence.
"Who's there?" Tsunade snapped, hurling a stone at a tree ahead.
The stone pierced the massive trunk, forcing a figure to leap out with a yelp.
"Teacher Ebara!" Mikoto cried, eyes teary but hopeful.
It was Ebara, back again.
He'd promised Fugaku a hero rescue, and he'd deliver.
He wasn't one to break promises.
Just… the hero needed a swap.
Couldn't be helped—Fugaku passed out too easily.
"It's me!" Ebara said, striking a cool pose.
He glanced at Tsunade, signaling her to start the lines.
Tsunade hesitated but, suppressing her disgust, recited Ebara's script.
"You're the dashing, talented, suave, brilliant, elegant, witty, unmatched… noble-hearted, awe-inspiring Ninja Academy teacher, Ebara?"
She felt like she could skip dinner tonight.
Even knowing Ebara's narcissism, she'd underestimated him.
Mikoto blinked, stunned.
Those words sounded familiar.
Ebara laughed, nodding. "Didn't expect you to know my fame!"
Tsunade spat, "Pfft! Stop stroking your ego."
"Let the kids go, and I'll pretend nothing happened," Ebara said coldly.
"Then come at me," Tsunade shot back.
"Here I come!" Ebara lunged.
"Teacher Ebara, be careful! He's tough!" Mikoto warned.
Ebara laughed. "Mikoto, didn't I tell you? I'm tough too!"
"Wind Style: Great Vacuum Sphere!"
He spat a bullet-like air blast at Tsunade.
She dodged swiftly, none hitting her, but she played up the "panic."
"Damn, out of chakra!" she growled, feigning frustration.
Ebara closed in, and they staged a fight.
Soon, Tsunade "retreated" under his onslaught, fleeing into the woods.
"Get back here!" Ebara roared, chasing her into the trees.
Minutes later, he returned, "bruised" and battered.
"It's over. I drove that punk off," he said, ruffling Mikoto's hair.
"Wah!" Mikoto threw herself into his arms, sobbing with relief.
"Thank you, Teacher Ebara!"
…
At sunset, Fugaku woke, shouting, "Where are those guys?"
"I chased one off. Never saw the other," Ebara said, a bit guilty.
Fugaku sighed in relief, then asked, "Is Mikoto okay?"
"I'm fine, Fugaku-nii," Mikoto said with a smile.
Fugaku finally relaxed.
"You alright, kid?" Ebara asked.
"Fine," Fugaku said, face dark, clearly not fine.
"Let's get you home then," Ebara said, brushing dirt off his pants.
"Okay," Fugaku nodded, then added, "Teacher Ebara, can you keep this quiet? You too, Mikoto."
"I won't tell," Mikoto said, lips tight.
"Sure?" Ebara asked.
"Sure."
"Then it's settled," Ebara said.
He was thrilled to keep it between the four of them.
Kidnapping the Uchiha heir wasn't a small crime.
With the Uchihas' power and their hotheaded clan, if they learned he'd ruined Fugaku's Sharingan chance, even the Third couldn't save him.
After dropping Mikoto and Fugaku home, Ebara hummed a tune, heading back.
Two steps in, a graceful figure appeared.
Who else but Tsunade?
"All sorted?" she asked.
"Yup. Fugaku even asked to keep it hush-hush," Ebara said.
"Perfect," Tsunade said, patting her chest.
Her movement sent ripples through her impressive assets, capturing Ebara's attention.
Noticing his gaze, Tsunade smirked inwardly. Not a total blockhead.
"Busy day. Time for dinner," Ebara said. "Wanna eat?"
Konoha lacked entertainment.
Otherwise, he'd take Tsunade for a stroll, grab food, watch a movie.
By then, it'd be too late to go home.
What should happen… would happen.
Still, no movies, no problem.
As the saying goes: Got conditions? Do it. No conditions? Make some and do it.
Ebara looked at Tsunade, full of anticipation.