Tsunade's lips parted slightly. "My grandma's calling me home for dinner. Another day!"
Her grandmother, Mito Uzumaki, was still alive—a rare survivor from the Warring States era and Konoha's stabilizing force. As the Nine-Tails' jinchuriki, few dared cross her.
Despite her status, Mito was fond of Ebara. When she learned he and Tsunade had dug up Hashirama's freshly buried body, she just laughed it off.
Ebara had never seen her angry.
Even so, he didn't dare keep Tsunade from dinner with Mito.
The Third would probably dismantle his legs if he tried.
"Another day then," Ebara said, deflated.
"See ya," Tsunade said with a cheeky grin, knowing exactly why he was bummed, and sauntered off.
"Sigh," Ebara muttered, heading home.
At home, he found his father sitting on the porch, face bruised and swollen, sighing heavily.
No need to ask—his mom had clearly beaten him up.
Ebara's mood lifted instantly.
That's what you get for scamming me.
"Dad, what happened?" Ebara asked, gloating.
"Tripped on the road, didn't watch my step," his father said, eyes darting away.
"Lemme see. Wow, so symmetrical—bruises on both sides!" Ebara said, feigning concern. "And that nose, all red and swollen."
"Fine, I'll come clean. Your mom did it," his father said, like a pig unafraid of boiling water.
"Deserved it for extorting my money this morning. Karma, huh?" Ebara smirked.
"Karma's not just my problem," his father said, giving him a sly glance.
Suddenly, his father's loss didn't sting as much—Ebara's was bigger.
Happiness is relative, after all.
A bad feeling hit Ebara. "What's that supposed to mean?"
Before his father could answer, Ebara bolted to his room.
Moments later, he stormed out, eyes blazing.
"Where's my money?"
The cash he'd swiped from Ichiro Ginkai yesterday—gone. Even the wallet was missing.
"Your mom took it," his father said.
"How'd she know I had it?"
"I didn't tell her."
"You expect me to believe that?"
"Believe it or not, I do," his father said shamelessly.
"Dad, have you no shame?"
"How'd I become your dad with shame?"
"…" Ebara was speechless.
Like brine curdling tofu, one thing tames another.
Guess he was stuck being the son.
"How'd you get caught?" Ebara asked, unwilling to let it go.
"This morning, after I got your money, I went to the flower shop, bought some roses to visit my old war buddy who passed," his father said. "On the way, I ran into my first love. We chatted a bit, and wouldn't you know it, your mom saw us. She was ready to believe me, but then she spotted the flowers and lost it. And here I am."
"Just flowers. Was it worth getting that mad?" Ebara asked, confused.
"Exactly!" his father said, indignant. "Women's minds? Even the Sage of the Six Paths couldn't figure them out."
"What flowers did you buy?"
"Roses."
"Pfft—roses to visit a dead war buddy?"
"What's wrong with that? Didn't I tell you? My late war buddy was a woman—my first girlfriend."
Ebara's brain short-circuited. "Wait, didn't you just say you met your first love?"
"Yup."
"Then you're visiting your first girlfriend?"
"Exactly."
"That makes no sense!"
"Why not? First love's one thing, first girlfriend's another."
"Dad, you're a total playboy."
"What's a playboy?"
"Lots of girlfriends, zero responsibility."
"Then I'm no playboy," his father said, shaking his head firmly.
"Oh, good."
"I'm a sea god!"
"…"
After a long silence, Ebara finally said, "Dad, you're really just a genin?"
"Yup. Why?"
"How are you still alive?"
Everyone called him shameless, but compared to his dad, Ebara was a saint.
"No choice. Your dad's just too handsome," his father said, lost in memories. "Before I married your mom, I had a nickname everyone knew: 'Dream of Ninja Girls!'"
"Dad, I kinda wanna punch you now."
"Tch, please. Where do you think your looks came from? Me, obviously."
"I thought they came from Uncle Edo next door."
"Him? His wife was head over heels for me back in the day. If I wasn't so principled, you'd have a brother."
"Dad, can you stop bragging?"
"Doubt me?"
"Mom's back!"
His father clammed up instantly.
Soon, the gate creaked, and Ebara's mother walked in, a basket on her arm filled with oysters, rehmannia, sea cucumber, and clams—all kidney tonics.
Seeing the contents, his father's face fell.
"Mom, you're back! Sit down," Ebara said, sucking up.
"Sit? I'm fuming thanks to you two," she snapped, glaring at him but sitting on the porch.
"Dad made you mad, not me," Ebara protested.
"Oh really? Then why's 'Ichiro Ginkai' carved on my wallet?" she shot back.
Ebara: "…Mom, that's my wallet."
She shrugged. "You say it's yours. Who knows?"
His father chimed in, "Nobody knows."
"Who can prove it?" his mother asked.
"Nobody can," his father echoed.
"You gonna ask it if I'm its owner?" Ebara said.
"It's not gonna answer," his father replied.
Ebara stared at his parents' tag-team act, heart full of grief.
Are you two doing a comedy routine?!
The king and queen of crosstalk, right here.
What a scam!
Seeing Ebara's dejection, his mother patted his shoulder. "Son, I didn't take your money for flowers. I'm just holding it for you. When you're older, you'll get it back. I've only got you—can't take it to the grave. Who else would I give it to?"
Ebara held out a hand. "Then give it now. I'm twenty. Big enough?"
She ruffled his hair, smiling. "In my eyes, you're never grown. Twenty or eighty, you're still my kid."
"Pfft—" Ebara deflated completely.