Prologue: The Deal, the Roulette, and the Forced Slumber
As if pulled by colossal gravity, I crash heavily onto a large chair. I look around and realize I am in a completely white room with no visible walls, surrounded by absolute darkness — not that ordinary darkness of a room without light, but a primordial void, as if light had never existed in this place since the beginning of time.
Then, out of nowhere, something materializes right before me.
"What the fuck is that?" I ask, pulling back a bit in the chair.
"My, what a dirty mouth you have, my dear guest!" the figure replies, floating in the air. "Right, Bubble? Bubble? Ah, right, my apologies, I got a bit too into character."
He composes himself with a bow in midair. I stare at that bizarre thing with a mixture of shock and disbelief. The creature before me has a tiny body wearing an elegant red circus ringmaster suit, with a black top hat floating on top, but his face... his face is literally just a giant floating mouth with white teeth and two eyes with blue pupils floating loose inside the oral cavity. He was the exact copy of Caine from that show The Amazing Digital Circus.
"I am what you coarsely know as a ROB," he declares.
"A Random Omnipotent Being?" I ask, frowning. "And why the hell are you dressed exactly like Caine?"
"That doesn't matter, my boy!" the ROB replies, waving his hand dismissively. "You see, you died. What a shame! But don't be sad, because as the good ROB I am, I shall give you a second chance!"
"Just like that? For free?" I ask, suspicious.
"Well, I'll be watching your new adventure for entertainment, but your ridiculous death was already a great payment! Hahahahaha!"
I make an instinctive grimace hearing that, because the memories of my death immediately rush back to my mind.
I was in my room, playing Clash Royale on my phone. The previous match had left me literally one trophy away from advancing to the next arena, and I thought the classic 'just one more match to wrap up the day'. The problem was that I faced the most toxic and disgusting Mega Knight deck ever invented in the history of that game. I tilted so absurdly that I lost control and threw my phone with all my strength against the wall. Obviously I regretted it the very next second. I went down to the floor to pick up the debris and heard a strange noise, a sharp hiss. Like a curious idiot, I held the broken phone close to my ear to understand what it was. I found out the hard way: it was the damaged lithium battery short-circuiting and exploding right next to my ear. End of the line.
Snapping out of that embarrassing flashback, I look at the ROB in front of me, who is squirming and laughing in my face in midair.
"Are you going to give me blessings or a power already, or are you just going to stand there laughing?" I ask, crossing my arms.
"Yes, yes! But everything will be decided by luck!" he replies, wiping a comical tear from one of his floating eyes.
With a snap of his fingers, a giant casino roulette wheel appears out of nowhere. The ROB spins it with a quick flick of his cane.
"Wasn't I supposed to spin that thing?" I ask.
"Whatever, kid! Now just pray for good luck!" he shouts.
The roulette wheel spins in a blur until it slows down and stops on the word Mutation.
"A mutation in the Marvel universe!" the ROB announces, excited. "Now let's see which mutation you'll get!"
He spins the roulette again. The wheel spins frantically and, after a few seconds, stops on the final result.
The ROB and I stand there staring at the result on the panel in silence for a second. Then, the entity begins to laugh even louder than before, doing pirouettes and rolling through the air from laughing so hard.
The result? My mutant power will be the ability to use the mechanics of Clash Royale. Yes, my fucking mutant power came directly from the game that caused my death.
"And how am I going to appear in this new world?" I ask, trying to ignore the creature's mocking. "Am I just going to appear out of nowhere, reincarnate, or transmigrate?"
"You will be an orphan baby!" he replies, trying to recover from his fits of laughter.
I narrow my eyes, thinking fast. "Is there any way I can skip childhood and maybe even adolescence? Being a kid and a teenager again isn't cool at all, I already went through all that hassle in my past life."
The ROB opens a gigantic, wide smile. "Of course, my friend! I will take care of that for you!"
The instant he says that, a strange feeling and a cold shiver run up my spine. Deep in my soul, I feel that I just screwed myself over big time.
Before I can back out or question his words, the ROB points his magician's cane directly at my chest. An invisible force hits me and I am thrown backward, falling into an infinite black hole opening beneath my chair. The last thing I see before being swallowed by the darkness is the ROB's floating mouth giving me a mocking little wave from above.
I open my eyes slowly.
The first thing I see is a strange, highly modern ceiling. Along with it, the monotonous, rhythmic beep of medical equipment echoes right beside me.
I try to move, but I feel my body trapped by tubes, electrodes, and cables connected to my skin. I feel the weight of my developed muscles, completely immobile, as I realize I've been trapped in a deep coma for years on end.
I close my eyes for a second, swallowing my rage, and a single thought echoes in my mind:
"Damn ROB..."