If someone had told me that defeating a lich would leave me emotionally more unstable than physically, I'd have called them dramatic.
Now?
I'd shake their hand and sob in agreement.
Because the problem wasn't the undead army.
It wasn't the near-death experience.
It wasn't even the fact that my armor still smelled faintly of burnt skeleton.
No.
The problem was Kael.
He was sitting by the fire, one knee bent, sharpening his dagger with that slow, lazy precision that should be illegal. The firelight flickered across his face, outlining that smug, calm look that said I don't break a sweat unless I want to.
And me?
I was sitting across him, pretending to check my sword while actually just... staring.
Oh no.
Oh no no no.
He caught me staring.
Our eyes met.
He smirked.
I forgot how to breathe.
"You're blushing again," he said, the corner of his mouth twitching. "Should I be concerned, Leonhart?"
"I'm not blushing," I lied, very convincingly, while turning red enough to be used as a signal flare. "It's just... post-battle heat! You know! Adrenaline! Blood pressure! Things!"
"Mm." He leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. "You sure you're not just flustered?"
I made the sound of a dying squirrel. "Wha...flustered? By you? Hah! As if! You're....you're just..."
"Pretty?" he teased, eyes glinting.
"I WAS GONNA SAY SMUG!"
And that's when my soul officially left my body.
Because he laughed. The warm, low kind that sounded like sin dressed in velvet. The kind that makes you want to write poetry you'll regret in the morning.
I had to cover my face. I squealed. I actually squealed.
Like full, high-pitched, hand-flapping, "oh my god he noticed me" energy.
"Stop laughing!" I wailed. "You can't just say things like that to someone who's, who's emotionally fragile right now!"
He tilted his head. "Emotionally fragile?"
"Yes! I fought hard today, Kael! That messes with a girl's psyche!"
"Girl," he echoed, grinning. "I like when you say that."
Okay. That's it. I'm melting into the dirt. Goodbye world. Respawn me in a hole.
"I...uh...ha...haha...oh my god...stop," I giggled, smacking my face. "You can't just, say things like that!"
He chuckled again, clearly entertained by my ongoing breakdown.
And me, in my infinite genius, decided to cope with the emotional overload by doing the dumbest possible thing imaginable.
I reached over...
And patted his back.
Like some kind of overexcited fangirl patting her crush for breathing too attractively.
"There, there," I said in a squeaky voice. "You're....you're so ugh!...ugh!"
And then,
BAM.
A red number floated above his head.
–547 HP
He choked. Actually choked.
And then coughed up blood.
I froze.
"OH MY GOD!" I shrieked. "Did I just...hurt you?!"
He was coughing into his glove, looking equal parts confused and in pain. "What...was...that..."
"I DON'T KNOW!" I jumped up, waving my arms like a maniac. "I JUST...patted you! I didn't think it'd...oh no...oh my god, Kael, I'm so sorry!"
"Calm down," he wheezed, wiping the corner of his mouth. "I've taken worse hits."
"FROM AN ENEMY, KAEL! NOT FROM A LOVE TAP!"
He raised a brow, amused even while dying. "So it was love?"
"I'M GONNA CRY."
My panic mode activated. I crouched beside him, frantically checking his HP bar like I could will it to refill with sheer guilt. "Okay okay okay...it's fine, I've got potions...uh...where is it...oh my god why do I have six different kinds of beer but no healing..."
He caught my wrist. His hand was warm, steady, and completely distracting.
"Hey," he said softly. "I'm fine."
I looked at him, those calm, ridiculously composed eyes, and almost screamed again. Because why did he look like that? Like bleeding out was just a romantic inconvenience?
"You're bleeding!" I said.
He shrugged. "You're flustered."
"That's not!"
"And it's cute."
"STOP SAYING THAT!"
"Can't. It's true."
I was going to combust. My brain was just static now. "You....you're impossible."
He smiled, the kind that could kill lesser mortals. "You keep saying that too."
"Oh my god," I muttered, standing up to pace. "I can't do this. I can't be normal around you. You flirt like breathing. Do you even stop when you sleep?"
"Only if someone keeps me awake."
I squealed again.
Like, actual squeal, hand-on-cheek, knees-buckling kind of squeal.
"I hate you!" I shouted, face burning. "I hate how smooth you are!"
He grinned. "You're welcome."
I threw a rock at him. It missed. Tragically.
He leaned back, still smirking despite his near-death-by-back-pat experience. "You know, Leonhart, you're the strangest man I've ever met."
"I'M NOT A MAN!" I snapped, still pacing. "I mean...I am...but I'm not....but like...ugh!"
"Want to rephrase that before people overhear and start rumors?"
"Let them!" I huffed. "They already think we're having some tragic forbidden romance!"
He laughed again, and the sound was somehow worse this time, softer, realer. It made something flutter in my chest that had no business fluttering while I was wearing full plate armor.
"Forbidden romance, huh?" he said quietly. "Guess that fits."
"Don't say things like that with that tone!"
"What tone?"
"The one that makes it sound like we're about to kiss and ruin an entire fanbase!"
He smirked. "So you've thought about it."
"I HATE YOU."
"No, you don't."
He was right, and I hated that too.
We eventually sat back down, the fire crackling between us. I was still red, still mortified, still ready to yeet myself into a ravine. He, of course, looked annoyingly unbothered, even though his HP was still not fully healed.
"Next time," he said casually, "warn me before you get affectionate. I might wear armor."
"Oh, believe me, I'm never touching you again!"
"That sounds like a challenge."
"IT'S NOT!"
He chuckled, low and smooth. "You know, for someone trapped in a male body, you're surprisingly easy to read."
"I can't help it!" I buried my face in my hands. "You're....ugh!...you're just...you exist too attractively!"
He paused. "Is that a complaint or a compliment?"
"Yes."
And just like that, Kael laughed again. The kind of laugh that somehow made all the panic fade, replaced with something warm and stupidly giddy.
I found myself smiling too, even as I grumbled, "You're still paying for my trauma, you know."
He leaned in just a little. "Then you'll have to stay alive long enough for me to make it up to you."
...
Okay, yeah. I was doomed.
I pulled my cloak over my face and screamed quietly into it.
Somewhere, I heard him laugh again.
And despite everything, the fight, the confusion, the weird reality-bending nonsense,
I realized one thing:
Kael was lethal.
And not because of his blades.