"What is wrong with you?" her mother asked, her expression not fathomable.
"I'm fine, Mom," she managed, fighting the cough strangling her throat.
"I will get you something for that cough tomorrow," her mom said and walked out casually like nothing about her daughter looked alarming.
Alisha fixed her pillow. Kaira rested slowly.
"Look, Kaira, I think you need to see a doctor."
"You think I should. That is just your thought," she whispered, pressing her palm against her painful chest.
"Kaira, I am scared," Alisha whispered.
Her mom suddenly returned. Alisha froze immediately.
"Alisha, you should go home. It is late."
"Yes, ma'am." Alisha hurried out, giving Kaira one quick tiny wave.
Kaira's heart ran wild. She knew her mother had been waiting for the moment Alisha would leave. The door closed. Slow steps approached her.
"You think I do not know what you are doing?"
"Mom..."
"Give me your phone."
Kaira handed it over with shaking fingers.
"You are losing focus. I will keep it."
"I am sorry, Mom."
"Is this what you learn in church? Getting involved with boys already?" Kaira stayed silent. Her mother's stare was sharp enough to cut skin.
She walked out and slammed the door hard. Kaira gasped for air, clutching her chest like her lungs refused to expand. The door opened again.
"We are cooking."
Kaira stood, even though her legs trembled violently. Tears slid down her face as she took the first step. Her chest felt too heavy to carry. Her vision blurred. She coughed again.
She wiped her face, opened the door, and walked to the kitchen. Her sisters were already there. Her mother stirred the soup in silence. The room felt like a morgue with the clinking sound of cutleries cutting through the silence.
"Mom, we resume next week."
"How long have you even been home? Why do you need to go back early?"
"Our break is two weeks."
"Oh really? Go and get her phone," she said to one of her daughters. The girl ran out. Returned. Handed it over. Her mother stretched the phone towards Kaira.
"Unlock it."
Kaira unlocked it fast. Her mother scrolled through slowly, jaw tight.
"Where is Alisha's number?"
"BFF."
"What is that supposed to mean?"
"Best Friend Forever."
She dialed the contact.
"Hello bestie, how are you?" Alisha sounded cheerful at first, unaware she was on speaker.
"Alisha, answer honestly," her mother said.
"...okay ma'am."
"When do you resume?"
"Actually... we resume upper next week, but we wanted to come next week to..."
"To do what. Tell me. The same nonsense you girls have been hiding?"
"No ma'am. We just wanted to get ready for the semester."
"Right. Of course." She hung up and slowly turned to Kaira.
"You lied to me?"
"Mom. That is not really..."
The slap came so fast she could not even move. The pain dragged her body to the ground.
"I thought you were a good child. Look at Maltina. Her mother is proud of her. She behaves like someone that values her future."
Tears rolled down Kaira's face. She coughed again, harder this time.
"Get up and get out of my sight."
Kaira returned to her room like a widow burying herself alive. Everything felt dark and hollow. The voices of everyone who ever shouted at her roared inside her skull like ghosts.
The house remained hell through the following weeks. When resumption day finally arrived, Kaira had never been so happy to leave somewhere in her life. The joy of escaping hell for something slightly less painful. Not safe, just less violent.
She packed her luggage the night before. She barely slept. She joined morning prayer with her mind already gone. Already gone before her body left.
After prayer, she took a quick bath. As usual, she skipped breakfast. Motion sickness. Anxiety. Fear.
"This is your phone. Do not make me regret giving it back," her mother said while getting in the car.
They stopped by Alisha's house to pick her up. Alisha stood outside with her mother. Her mother hugged her tightly. Real love. Soft love. Protecting love.
"Good morning, ma'am," Kaira said as she helped place Alisha's luggage in the trunk.
"Good morning, sweetheart," Alisha's mother said, patting her gently. Even her voice felt warm, gentle and safe
Kaira stood still. Watching. She wished her own mother could hold her like that. Just once. The hug looked like home. Even if it was cold, it was still comforting.
Her mother's voice echoed viciously inside her mind. It looped. Again. Again. Again. Her vision blurred. Her breath collapsed. Her legs refused to move.
She tried to step back into the car. But her knees buckled.She collapsed.
Voices screamed her name from somewhere far away. Footsteps ran towards her. Everything blurred and dissolved like water.
Then there was peace.
She did not faint because she was weak.
She fainted because her heart had been holding its breath for too long.