Maybe she shouldn't have opened her eyes today.
She woke up to a sterile drop of fluid seeping into her hand through her innocent vein. She looked around. The whole white-painted room spun. The smell of disinfectant hit her nose as she tried to sit up.
"Let me help you," her mother said, slipping her arm behind Kaira and lifting her gently.
The door creaked, and the doctor walked in. Even though she was extremely weak, she still saw him clearly. Young. Maybe late twenties. Average height. His stethoscope dangled freely around his neck.
"How are you, Kaira?"
"I'm good, sir," she whispered.
"Thank you so much, doctor," her mum said, still holding her hands.
"Ma'am, this girl really needs rest. The tests we did here showed nothing is wrong with her," the doctor said.
"I'll let her rest," her mother answered slowly, as if her conscience pricked her.
"You should get her something to eat," the doctor said, looking at the almost finished saline bag.
"I have no appetite," Kaira muttered, sinking into the pain.
"You have to eat something to stay healthy. You weren't taught that in school?" her mother snapped.
"Please be calm with her," the doctor said. "Just get something light."
Kaira's mum stood up and left with the doctor. She came back minutes later with pasta.
"Sit up. Come and eat," she said, opening the flask.
Kaira sat up, reaching for the spoon. The vapour rose and hit her nose, she retched instantly, covering her mouth.
"Kaira, you really need to eat," her mum said calmly… but it sounded like anger wearing calm as a mask.
"I don't have appetite."
"What then do you want?" her mother muttered, closing the food flask.
The door shrieked open again. Alisha walked in with her mum. She rushed to Kaira's side and Kaira's mother stepped back a little for her.
"Hey bestie… how are you feeling now?" she asked softly, opening her lunchbox. "I brought you something nice."
Kaira smiled weakly. She already knew. Chocolates. Alisha always brought chocolates. And she was right.
"You must be craving this," Alisha said, pulling out packs of chocolate. Kaira's smile deepened faintly.
"No chocolate until you eat." Her mother fired softly.Instant silence. The brightness on her face died immediately.
"You don't want to eat?" Alisha asked.
"I.." she tried to speak… but suddenly she began coughing violently.
"Hey! Kaira! Let me get you water," her mother said, panic rushing all over her face.
"Kaira please take it easy," Alisha whispered, a hand on her chest.
"Take, my dear," her mother said, handing her water.
She tried. But the more she drank, the more it spilled out, the more she coughed. She drifted helplessly between life and whatever else was waiting. Her chest rose violently, wheezing with each cough.
"I'll get the doctor," Alisha's mother said and rushed out.
She came back quickly with the doctor and nurse. He told them to step out. Kaira had stopped coughing, but she had fallen unconscious. Alisha gently laid her flat, her hands shaking.
The doctor checked her with the stethoscope, checked her pulse.
"Her pulse is really weak," he said quietly. "I told her she needs rest. The results aren't showing anything."
He checked her nails. He looked lost. Confused. Alisha peeped from outside, feeling useless.
"Why would a doctor act like this? It's an emergency," she muttered in anger.
If she could, she would have taken Kaira somewhere better. She didn't even understand what he did—but after another saline bag was inserted, Kaira slowly came around. Still, he refused anyone to enter yet.
"Mum… can we sit outside?" Alisha whispered while Kaira's mum went for the prescription drugs.
"Sure, darling." They went outside to the car.
"Mum, I don't think this doctor knows what he's doing," Alisha said once they settled.
"Why do you say that?"
"He didn't even know what to do when she fainted."
"Don't say that. But even if that's true… you know how stubborn Kaira's mum can be," her mother sighed.
"I don't want anything to happen to Kaira," Alisha cried.
"She'll be fine. The doctor said she just needs rest."
"Mum… she sleeps all day already," she almost yelled.
"For crying out loud, Alisha, let the sleeping dog lie. You're not a doctor," her mother said and stepped out of the car.
Alisha stayed back and cried silently. She wished she could take her pain. She wished she could end it for her. Kaira must be suffering.
They stayed with Kaira's mum since her dad wasn't around. Later in the evening, her father called. Since she was awake now, the doctor allowed the call.
"Hello my girl," his voice boomed.
"Good evening, Daddy," she answered weakly.
"Don't worry. Daddy will soon be home. But before that, be good so you can resume school."
"Okay sir."
"So you can start reading your books. I love you my dear," he added.
"Love you too, sir," Kaira whispered. Tears slid down her cheeks. She didn't expect him to understand her pain. He only cared about grades. About school. Not her body breaking apart.
The phone slipped from her fingers.
Sometimes, love feels like obligation.
Sometimes, care feels like distance.