They wanted me to join the military?
My hands started to shake.
Am I going to have to fight with the army that killed me?
The army that probably killed my family?
No.
I can't.
There has to be a way I can decline.
A way I can escape.
I may have lost some of my humanity.
But I'm not going to fall that far.
Never.
"Uh… I uhm…"
Come on!
I need to find some sort of excuse.
I have to.
My morals are at stake.
"Is there something wrong Gerrnan?"
"It's just that I… uh…"
Out with it!
I need to give an excuse!
"I still don't feel well"
"That's nothing to worry about, you'll be fine son"
"I really can't. Please trust me"
"YES YOU WILL!"
I flinched at my father's harsh shout.
"YOU WILL BE A SOLDIER AND THAT IS FINAL."
I held back tears.
For I know they would just make me look weak.
At least to them.
What am I going to do?
If I end up having to kill a human.
How am I going to live with myself?
How am I going to overcome that guilt?
I won't.
Maybe I can find a way not to fight humans.
I could work as a chef or nurse.
No.
That wouldn't work.
My parents would make sure I joined the infantry.
And besides.
That would still contribute to the slaughter of human beings.
But then I asked myself.
Why do I care about humans so much?
I'm not a human anymore.
I'm the opposite of human.
Why do I have such an attachment to my past life?
Why can't I let go of what will never be and move on?
I'm going to have to kill humans.
So I should accept that I am not a human anymore so I don't feel guilty.
That's what I need to do.
But…
Who is going to protect my wife and daughter?
No.
I can't care about them.
Not anymore.
All that will do is bring me pain!
It's been 18 years!
I'm not a human.
Though I wish I were.
I really wish I were.
If only there were some way I could return to being human…
Wait.
That's it!
I could find some way to return to being human!
But the military problem remains…
I'll have to become human before then!