"Home" was generous.
It was a shack, barely bigger than a storage closet, tucked in a forgotten corner of the outer sect where nobody bothered to go. It had been his father's workshop once, back when they'd had a real house, back when his father had been a respected alchemist instead of an executed criminal.
Now it was all Lin Wei had left. One room, a sleeping mat, a shelf with three books and a cracked tea pot and walls so thin he could hear his neighbors fucking two buildings over.
He stumbled inside, shut the door and locked it with shaky hands.
Then he collapsed.
His back hit the wall and he slid down to the floor, pulling his knees to his chest. The borrowed robe smelled like someone else, flower and spirit herbs, completely foreign.
Four years.
Four years of trying and failing and trying again and failing worse.
Four years of mockery, isolation, humiliation.
For what?
The memory hit him without warning, sharp and vivid like it always did when he was at his lowest point.
THREE YEARS AGO: The execution platform in the sect's central plaza, his father kneeling with hands bound behind his back while the Sect Master read the charges in a voice that echoed off the surrounding buildings.*
"Lin Hao, you stand accused of corrupting orthodox alchemy with forbidden Qi methods. You have created pills infused with lust Qi, distributed them to outer disciples without authorization and caused... unusual side effects that violate the sect's moral standards and bring shame upon our traditions."
*His father's voice somehow still calm even facing death: "I was only trying to help those who couldn't cultivate normally. Lust Qi is just another path, another energy source. It's not inherently evil—"
"SILENCE!" The Sect Master's face had been red with fury. "Your perversions have no place in this sect, your research is an abomination. The sentence is death by beheading, to be carried out immediately."
*The blade fell.*
Lin Wei was fifteen, they made him watch. Made all the disciples watch, as a lesson about what happened to those who strayed from the orthodox path.
Lin Wei pressed his palms against his eyes hard enough to see stars.
His father had believed in alternative cultivation. Had believed that people like Lin Wei—people without talent, without perfect meridians, without advantages could still find power if they were willing to explore unconventional methods.
He'd died for that belief.
And Lin Wei couldn't even honor his memory by succeeding, couldn't even circulate Qi without exploding out of his fucking clothes like some kind of joke.
"Maybe I should just quit," he said to the empty room, his voice hoarse and broken. "Go be a farmer. Grow cabbages, at least cabbages don't judge you for being worthless."
The silence didn't answer.
He sat there as the sun moved across the sky, as shadows lengthened and the sounds of the sect's evening activities drifted through the thin walls. Disciples training. Laughing. Living their normal successful lives.
Lin Wei just sat, empty and hollow and defeated.
Hours passed.
The sun set, darkness filled the shack.
And then something changed.
At first, he thought it was exhaustion playing tricks on him. A shimmer in the corner of his vision, like heat waves rising from summer pavement.
He blinked hard, but it didn't go away.
The shimmer solidified into light, soft pink light that definitely shouldn't exist in his dark shack. It turned into a jade slip hovering in the air directly in front of his face, covered in script that seemed to change and shift when he tried to focus on it.
Lin Wei stared, his exhausted brain struggling to process what he was seeing.
Then words appeared directly in his mind, clear as someone speaking into his skull:
[SYSTEM ONLINE]
[The Forbidden Dao BETA - Now with 47% more degeneracy!]
[Congratulations, you pathetic disaster! You've been selected for our Degenerate Cultivation Trial Program!]
Lin Wei's breath caught in his throat.
A system, a cultivation system?
Like the ones from legends—the heaven-defying opportunities that turned trash into immortals, that gave cripples the power to shatter mountains, that changed everything.
This was...
This couldn't be real.
"I've finally fucking lost it," Lin Wei whispered. "The humiliation broke my brain, I'm hallucinating."
[Nope! I'm real. Want me to prove it?]
Before he could answer, his meridians Pulse.
For the first time in six years, Lin Wei felt his Qi pathways respond properly. Not healed, not yet.. but Active. The broken channels flowed with potential, like a musical instrument that had been silent suddenly remembering how to hold a note.
"Holy shit," he breathed.
[See? Real. Now, let's talk about your future.]
"My what?"
[Scanning host... complete!]
[Status: FUCKING TRAGIC]
[Meridians: Absolutely destroyed, 23% integrity, basically held together with hope and delusion]
[Cultivation talent: Garbage tier, possibly worst I've ever seen]
[Prospects: You're probably gonna die alone in a ditch somewhere]
[Social standing: Rock bottom, no—BELOW rock bottom, you've tunneled through bedrock into some kind of shame dimension]
[Dick rating: 5/10 (Average, but hey, at least something about you is average!)]
[Perfect candidate! You're desperate enough to actually use me!]
Lin Wei stared at the floating text, his mind reeling.
"Use you for what?"
[EVERYTHING! I'm a cultivation system. I turn attention into power. Specifically: I turn SEXUAL attention into Lust Qi, which you can use to cultivate despite your fucked meridians.]**
[Your dad was onto something with his lust Qi research. Unfortunately, he was too much of a pussy to fully commit. You, though? You're desperate. Desperate people do interesting things.]
"My father was executed for that research.."
[And that sucked! Really tragic! But here's the thing: he was RIGHT. Lust Qi works. It's a legitimate cultivation path. The orthodox sects just hate it because it's based on desire and connection instead of isolation and suffering, and where's the fun in letting people enjoy themselves while getting stronger?]
[So here's the deal: I'm gonna bond with you. You're gonna create content—videos, demonstrations, whatever that makes people want to fuck you. That desire generates Lust Qi. That Qi heals your meridians and makes you stronger. Simple!]
Lin Wei's brain struggled to process this.
"You want me to... to seduce people? Through videos?"
[EXACTLY! You're gonna become the sect's hottest content creator! Well, 'hottest' is aspirational right now—you're currently a 4.2 out of 10 in attractiveness, mostly because you look like a depressed scarecrow. But we'll work on that!]
"This is insane."
[This is CULTIVATION, baby! It's all insane! At least this way you get laid while becoming powerful!]
[Now: Do you accept the bond? Fair warning—once we're bonded, I'm in your head permanently, can't remove me except by death. Yours, preferably, since I plan on living forever.]
[Y/N]
Lin Wei looked down at his hands shaking. Weak.. Useless..
[Just kidding, you don't get a choice! ☆〜(ゝ.∂)]
[INITIALIZING BOND...]
"Wait, what...."
[Initiating bond in 3... 2... 1...]
The jade slip dissolved into sparks of pink light and shot directly into Lin Wei's forehead.
He gasped as foreign energy flooded his consciousness. It wasn't painful but it was intrusive, like someone was rearranging all the furniture in his brain without asking permission, going through his memories, judging his life choices.
Then it settled, and a voice spoke clearly in his mind.
Female, amused and Definitely perverted.
[Hello, Host! I'm Lú Tǐ, your new cultivation system and life coach! We're gonna have SO much fun together! By which I mean I'm going to watch you embarrass yourself repeatedly while I provide commentary and collect data!]
Lin Wei pressed his hands to his temples. "I can hear you in my head."
[Yep! We're bonded now! I can see all your memories, feel all your emotions, and judge all your terrible decisions! Like that time you were twelve and tried to impress that girl by climbing a tree and fell directly into a pig pen!]
"That was private..."
[Not anymore! We're basically married now, except without any of the benefits and all of the annoying constant presence! Now come on, let me give you the tutorial before you pass out from exhaustion. You look like shit, by the way. We need to work on that.]
A translucent screen materialized in his vision, covered in text and numbers.
Lin Wei stared at it, his exhausted brain trying to make sense of what he was seeing.
His life had just changed completely.
He didn't know if it was for better or worse, but for the first time in three years, he felt something that might have been hope stirring in his chest.
Even if that hope came with a perverted system judging his dick size.
"Alright," Lin Wei muttered. "Show me what you've got."
[Oh, Host. You have NO idea what you just signed up for. This is gonna be AMAZING. For me, at least, you're probably gonna die of embarrassment multiple times.]
[But hey—at least you won't die boring!]
The screen glowed brighter, displaying his stats in brutal, unflinching detail.
Lin Wei took a deep breath.
Thirty days to prove himself.
One insane system.
No other options.
"Fuck it," he said.
And somewhere in his dantian, something that had been broken for six years began to stir.