Lin Wei woke to the feeling of someone rifling through his brain like a messy drawer.
Not literally, but close enough.
His eyes snapped open to the early morning light filtering through the cracks in his shack's walls, and immediately he knew something was fundamentally wrong with his existence. There was a presence in his mind—intrusive, and way too fucking cheerful for dawn.
[Good morning, Host! ♪(´▽｀) You slept for nine hours! Very responsible! Your Attraction Rating increased by 0.2 points due to adequate rest. Well done!]
Right. That hadn't been a nightmare.
He actually had a perverted system living in his head now.
Lin Wei groaned and sat up on his sleeping mat, every muscle in his body still hurts from yesterday's spectacular failure but underneath the pain was something new, a faint glow in his meridians. Not strong, but it was there active. Like the system's presence had jump started something that had been dead for years.
"Wait.. my what increased?"
[Attraction Rating! It's one of your core stats. You're currently sitting at 4.4 out of 10, still firmly in 'would not get a second glance' territory, but we're working on it!]
Lin Wei pressed his palms against his eyes, It was too early for this shit.
"Can you... not read my thoughts?"
[Nope! We're bonded now. I have full access to your consciousness. Memories, feelings, that weird recurring dream about the fish market—ALL of it! No privacy whatsoever! Isn't intimacy beautiful?]
"I don't have dreams about fish markets..."
[You did last month. Very strange dream. You were juggling eels while your father watched and gave you disappointed looks. Super Freudian. We should unpack that sometime.]
Lin Wei's face heated. "Stay the FUCK out of my head!"
[Can't! It's part of the bond. Don't worry, I'm not judging... much. Okay, I'm judging a lot, but I'm keeping most of it to myself. You're welcome! ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)]
He took a deep breath, then another. Getting angry at a voice in his head wasn't productive and if this insane system could actually help him cultivate, he'd tolerate the invasion of privacy.
He'd tolerate a lot worse than that, honestly.
Rock bottom made you flexible about boundaries.
"Fine," he said aloud, trying to sound more in control than he felt. "You mentioned something about a mission last night, before I passed out from exhaustion and existential dread."
[Oh RIGHT! The tutorial! Let me show you the full interface. This is gonna blow your mind. Well, more than I'm already blowing it by existing in your brain. Think really hard about the word 'Status.']
Lin Wei closed his eyes and concentrated. Status.
A translucent screen materialized in his vision, like a jade slip but floating, with text that shifted and reorganized as he focused on different sections. It looked expensive and complicated, which meant it was probably about to ruin his life in creative new ways.
[HOST PROFILE: LIN WEI (Aspirational)]
Basic Info:
- Age: 18
- Title: Trash Wei (upgradeable to something less pathetic, eventually)
- Cultivation: Qi Gathering Stage 3 (Crippled) → Lust Core (Dormant, waiting for activation)
- Sect Rank: Outer Disciple (Probation - 29 days remaining before you become a servant, lol)
APPEARANCE STATS:
- Attraction Rating: 4.4/10 (You look like you've been crying for three days. Because you have.)
- Dick Rating: 5/10 (Perfectly average. The gods gave you nothing special but nothing embarrassing either.)
- Body Type: Skinny twink energy (needs muscle definition)
- Facial Features: 6/10 (Actually decent bone structure under the depression)
- Grooming: 2/10 (When did you last bathe? Don't answer that.)
PERSONALITY STATS:
- Charisma: 3/10 (Currently negative due to shame spiral and social anxiety)
- Shamelessness: 2/10 (You apologize to furniture when you bump into it. This will need MAJOR work.)
- Confidence: 1/10 (You have the self-esteem of a kicked puppy)
- Humor: 5/10 (Self-deprecating humor is still humor, I guess)
- Content Creation Skill: 0/10 (You've never created content in your life, virgin)
CULTIVATION STATS:
- Traditional Talent: 1/10 (Basically a dead end, your meridians are fucked)
- Lust Path Talent: ???/10 (UNTESTED - But your dad had it, so genetics say maybe?)
- Meridian Integrity: 23% (Damaged, but repairable with Lust Qi)
- Qi Purity: 15/100 (Contaminated by years of failed cultivation and emotional trauma)
- Sexual Experience: 0/10 (Virgin. Kissless virgin. The kissless part makes it worse somehow.)
- Sexual Stamina: 2/10 (Estimated. Two-pump chump energy detected.)
- Lust Qi: 0/100 (Dormant core, waiting for first subscriber to activate)
SPECIAL TRAITS:
- [Damaged Meridians] - Traditional cultivation 50% less effective, constant pain during Qi circulation
- [Father's Legacy] - Bonus to Lust Qi research, massive reputation penalty with orthodox cultivators
- [Imposter Syndrome] - Confidence penalty in high-pressure situations, increased anxiety
- [Rock Bottom Mentality] - Willingness to try insane plans increased by 30%, desperation is a hell of a drug
- [Kissless Virgin] - No experience with intimacy, will be awkward as fuck initially
- [Trauma Response] - Tendency to self-sabotage when things go well
CURRENT MISSION:
- [Introduction Content] (22:47:33 remaining)
- Create and post content introducing yourself
- Failure = Permanent Humiliation Aura (Everyone within 10 meters will instinctively mock you)
SUBSCRIBERS: 0
CONTENT POSTED: 0
VIEWS: 0
ENGAGEMENT: 0
SYSTEM BOND STATUS: Stable (Host is skeptical but desperate enough to comply)
Lin Wei stared at the screen for a long moment, his eye twitching slightly.
"Four point four," he said flatly. "Out of ten."
[To be fair, you currently look like a disaster! Unwashed, unshaven, wearing robes you slept in that smell like shame and old sweat. Clean yourself up and you'll jump to at least a six. Trust me! I've seen thousands of hosts. You've got potential under all that depression.]
"And shamelessness is a stat."
[One of the MOST important stats for the Lust path! You need to be comfortable being seen, being desired, being the center of attention. Right now, your shamelessness is critically low. You literally apologized to a DOOR yesterday when you bumped into it. A DOOR, Host. It doesn't have feelings.]
Lin Wei's face burned. "I was being polite..."
[You were being pathetic! But that's okay! We'll fix it! Shamelessness is trainable. By the time I'm done with you, you'll be able to walk naked through the dining hall without flinching!]
"I don't WANT to walk naked through the dining hall!"
[Not yet! But give it time. Character development is a journey!]
Lin Wei rubbed his face, trying to process everything. This was insane, stats for attraction? A rating for his dick? Sexual stamina as a measurable quality?
But his meridians were humming faintly with energy for the first time in six years. The system was invasive and perverted and probably going to ruin his life, but it was real... The power was real.
"Alright," he said, forcing himself to focus. "The mission. Explain it properly, what exactly do you want me to do?"
[FINALLY! A productive question! Let me show you the details!]
The screen shifted, displaying the mission parameters in full:
[MANDATORY MISSION: INTRODUCTION CONTENT]
Objective: Create content that introduces YOU to potential subscribers. Show them who you are, what you offer, why they should pay attention to your existence.
Requirements:
- Minimum 30 seconds of recorded content
- Must be posted to a public forum (Sect Jade Network recommended)
- Must receive at least 1 genuine engagement (view, comment, or like)
- Must be sincere—audiences can smell bullshit
Rewards Upon Completion:
- Lust Core Activation (unlock proper Lust Qi cultivation)
- Basic Qi Circulation Restored (your meridians will actually work)
- +5 Meridian Integrity (23% → 28%, actual healing)
- +1 Subscriber (if content is compelling enough)
- Achievement Unlock: "First Steps" (bonus to confidence)
Failure Penalty:
- Permanent Humiliation Aura (Level 1) - Everyone within 10 meters will instinctively find you mockable and inferior
- Your already terrible reputation becomes WORSE
- Social anxiety increases by 50%
- Attraction Rating drops to 2/10
- This penalty STACKS with future failures (don't fuck this up)
Time Remaining: 22:45:17
Difficulty: Easy (theoretically, but you'll probably make it hard for yourself)
Lin Wei read it twice, his stomach sinking with each word.
"Recorded content," he said slowly. "You want me to make a video of myself."
[Correct! A jade recording. Show your face, introduce yourself, give people a reason to care about your existence. Think of it as a cultivation demonstration, but more personal. More engaging. More 'please pay attention to me before I die alone.']
"And if no one watches it, I get a permanent aura that makes everyone mock me."
[Yep! So make it interesting! No pressure. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)]
"That's a LOT of pressure!"
[Details, details! Look, you're already at rock bottom. The Humiliation Aura would just make things slightly worse. Think of it as... motivation! Now, let me walk you through the basics of content creation. First, you need recording equipment.]
Lin Wei glanced around his tiny shack. "I don't have recording equipment, I can barely afford food."
[Sure you do! Check your father's old storage chest. The one under your sleeping mat that you definitely haven't been avoiding because it makes you cry.]
He froze. "How do you know about that?"
[I'm bonded to your consciousness, remember? I can see all your memories. Including the ones where you curl up next to that chest at night and pretend your dad is still alive. Very sad. We should really address your grief issues, but that's a problem for later. For now: open the chest. You'll need what's inside.]
Lin Wei wanted to argue, wanted to tell the system to fuck off and respect his boundaries and stop bringing up his dead father.
But he needed the system's help more than he needed privacy or dignity.
Those were luxuries. Survival came first.
Reluctantly, he pulled the small wooden chest from its hiding place under his sleeping mat. It was carved with amateur formation work, his father's handiwork, done years ago when things were better. Inside were three low grade spirit stones, a bag of formation chalk, some basic alchemy tools, and a bundle of letters he'd never been able to read without breaking down.
His throat tightened. These were all he had left of his father.
[I know this is hard, Host. But your father would want you to use his stuff, he'd want you to succeed. Now grab the spirit stones and chalk, we're gonna set up a recording array.]
"How do you know what my father would want?" Lin Wei's voice came out harsher than intended.
[Because I can see your memories of him, dipshit, he was a good man who got fucked by orthodox politics. He'd be proud you're trying something unconventional. Now stop being emotional and start being productive. We have 22 hours left.]
Lin Wei took a shaky breath and pulled out the supplies. The spirit stones felt warm in his palm, like they still held a trace of his father's Qi.
Over the next hour, the system walked him through setting up a basic recording array. It was simpler than he'd expected—just a cheap jade slip propped up on some books, a spirit stone for power, and chalk formations to capture and store the video.
"This looks like shit," Lin Wei said, eyeing his makeshift setup.
[It IS shit! But it's functional shit, and that's what matters. Production quality can improve later. Right now, we just need CONTENT. Now: what are you going to record?]
Lin Wei sat legs crossed in front of the array and stared at it, his mind blank.
"I have no idea."
[You have several options. Let me show you:]
The screen displayed a list:
[CONTENT OPTIONS FOR BEGINNERS:]
1. Cultivation Demonstration (Boring but safe, low engagement expected)
2. Personal Story/Vulnerability (High emotional connection, risky)
3. Thirst Trap (Extremely effective but requires shamelessness you don't have)
4. Comedy/Self-Deprecation (Disarms audience, makes you relatable)
5. Combination Approach (RECOMMENDED - mix vulnerability with determination)