Sandy quickly fashioned a long robe from the remaining fabric of the day, put on a wig, pulled High Wind from his space backpack, and tied it to his back. From a distance he looked every bit the sword immortal.
Chopper's eyes lit up. "Sugoi, sugoi, Sandy—this is the handsomest I've ever seen you!"
Usopp exclaimed, "I've seen this getup before—at Baratie and Little Garden... Chopper, calm down!"
Chopper: "Let go of me, I want to dress like that too—"
Sanji muttered, annoyed, "What is there to envy? That bastard's robe is made from my curtains!"
Vivi's eye twitched. Sanji's curtains?
Sandy ignored their grumbling and used his ability to slowly lift himself into the air.
Even though Zoro and the others had seen this before, seeing it again still impressed them. Anyone who didn't know the truth would be genuinely shocked by Sandy's theatrics.
After he rose to a certain height he hovered midair. The Space Barrier would normally vanish after five seconds—couldn't he just form another? Gahaha...
Worship me, mortals.
Oh no, he almost zoned out.
The sounds of fighting below snapped Sandy back to reality. He cleared his throat and shouted, "Residents of Alabasta—give me some face and stop what you're doing for a moment!"
No response.
Was his voice too low?
Sandy produced a large megaphone. "Residents of Alabasta, listen to me first!"
People in the square finally looked up.
Satisfied, Sandy prepared to speak—only for the crowd to immediately go back to what they were doing.
They were too fired up to pay attention.
Annoyed, Sandy yelled again, "Listen to me, damn it! Stop fighting—can you just listen for a moment... cough, cough—"
Sanji below clutched his stomach and laughed, "Hahaha, what is Sandy doing? 'Give him face'? His face is huge—hahaha, I'm dying!"
Zoro tried to keep a straight face and failed, his face flushing red.
Usopp and Nami exchanged glances and burst into laughter. They knew Sandy well; they knew how mortifying and annoying this must be for him.
Chopper, puzzled, asked, "What are you laughing at? Aren't we supposed to stop people from fighting?"
Vivi couldn't laugh—her people were risking their lives. Sanji snapped back to seriousness. "What are you laughing at? Be serious!"
Sandy descended from the air with a gloomy expression. "Vivi, is the bomb on the top floor dealt with?"
Vivi nodded. "Yes. Following your instructions, I told Pell to handle that bomb a while ago."
Satisfied, Sandy struck his coolest pose. "Activate Summon Mode—come out, High Wind!!"
A spatial vortex about thirty centimeters across opened to his left. From it emerged a gleaming treasure sword that stunned everyone.
Zoro called out, "Hey, hey—Sandy, what are you trying to do?"
"What do I want to do?" Sandy snapped. "They actually dare not show me face like this—I'm going to chop—"
Usopp lunged and hugged Sandy. "Calm down! Don't go chopping people up!"
Vivi panicked, "Sandy, you wouldn't really—would you?!"
Sandy rolled his eyes. "I'm just planning to cut down the surrounding buildings with one sword to scare them into fainting. I'm not actually cutting people, okay?"
Sanji scoffed, "Don't you have Conqueror's Haki? Couldn't you just knock them out with that?"
Huh. Why didn't he think of that earlier? Sandy realized he'd been so worked up he'd lost his head.
"Cough, cough." His face reddened. "Usopp, let go. I'm going to show off again—poof, I'll knock them out."
Vivi worried, "This won't hurt them, right?"
Zoro replied, "They'll just faint. It's fine."
Sandy lowered his head to gather himself. Before he released his Haki, Sanji jealously urged, "Hurry up—stop posing."
Sandy rolled his eyes. "I need to build momentum..."
A gust swept the square, gathering dust into a single column. Sandy looked up, narrowed his eyes, and a pale blue aura—more domineering than before—expanded outward in a vortex.
This was Conqueror's Haki. The noise cut off instantly. People froze, then one by one rolled their eyes back and collapsed.
Chopper blinked and asked, confused, "Why is there music? It makes you feel so pumped!"
Zoro sighed, "Sandy, can you turn off your broadcasting device? Let's deal with the aftermath."
Right—Sandy had actually been adjusting background music while preparing to use his Haki.
He'd queued the BGM meant for Mihawk's appearance and Shanks' entrance. If he didn't have music, how could he be suitably cool?
Suddenly Sandy shouted, "How bold! Who dares to sneak-attack me?!"
Nami walked up and gave Sandy a firm knuckle to the head. "Vivi's practically crying over this, and you're still doing childish stunts. Go check on Luffy now, honestly..."
Just as Vivi was about to drag Sandy toward the underground palace to help Luffy, the lower level nearby broke through. Someone shot up from below and crashed down. Crocodile.
Sandy and the others rushed to where Crocodile had fallen.
"Vivi, do you have any Seastone?" Sandy asked.
Vivi looked puzzled. "Yes—why?"
"With those cuffs," Sandy said through gritted teeth, "I'm going to hand Crocodile over to the Navy and collect the bounty."
"Nani?!" everyone exclaimed in unison.
Only Nami, ever practical, had a greedy glint. "Sandy, you genius! By the way—what's Crocodile's bounty?"
Sanji's eyes went dreamy. "Nami is so charming—leave it to me, Nami-san..."
Sandy kicked Sanji aside. "Around eighty million Beli."
"We're rich, we're rich..." Nami squealed and gave Sandy a kiss.
Sanji immediately challenged Sandy, "I'm challenging you to a duel!"
Zoro rolled his eyes. "Can you even beat him?"
Sanji shot back, "Do you think I won't kick you to death first?"
Zoro snarled, "Come on, perverted cook—see if I don't slice you up!"
Then Sanji kicked, kicked, kicked. Zoro chopped, chopped, chopped.
Everyone: "..."
Sandy sighed. "Are you two possessed? Grow up. Do you really think I can't beat you?"
And so the three of them erupted into a free-for-all.
Everyone: "..."
…
Author's Note:
The fanfic One Piece: My Flirtatious System Adventure is first half completed.
The entire story has been uploaded on Patreon as a dedicated collection:
📚 One Piece (Chapters 1–362)
Carefully organized into multiple posts, with several chapters per post for smooth and easy binge reading.
🔗 patreon.com/Shadow_demon_007
Thank you all for your continuous support and love for this journey 💙