I just do it as a favour to help out," Minjun says. "Suji is getting hassled by a really persistent boy. We've got the college exams next week but that's not making a difference. Nayoon thinks that he's expecting to do about as well as me in the exams so that's why he's being such a bother. He's being relentless with Suji though. She has prospects and stuff. He's being mean really. I don't like him."
Taehyeon watches Minjun for a moment. Following his gaze through the open classroom door only gets as far as Kyungran speaking to Suji. It probably doesn't matter who the person is that Minjun doesn't like. It isn't like Taehyeon would know them anyway.
"So, when you're pretending to be someone's boyfriend, what sort of stuff do you do?"
"Just normal boyfriend stuff," Minjun says as though that answers anything.
"Like holding hands and stuff?"
"Yeah, exactly."
"And kissing too?"
"Well, yeah. If someone wants me to kiss them, I'll do that too. One time a girl just wanted to know what kissing was like so I kissed her."
Minjun speaks so frankly as though he's saying normal things. Taehyeon is shocked all the same. "What about if you like someone? Do you still do all that stuff? With the pretend girlfriend, I mean."
"Would that be a problem?" Minjun asks, his legs kicking lightly against the wall. "It's just pretend. It's not real or anything."
"But what about the kissing?"
"That's pretend too," Minjun explains. "It's not like everyone only kisses people they like. I mean, even my first kiss was a dare. It's just for fun."
Taehyeon doesn't think it is fun. He wonders how he must sound, unable to understand why Minjun is apparently freely kissing anybody who wants it. In a way, he feels stupid. All of the daydreams where he has kissed his imaginary Minjun have been special. He will need to rewrite all his fantasies to take into account the fact that the kisses won't mean anything to Minjun even in his wildest dreams. That isn't fun at all.
"People are being dared to have their first kiss? That hasn't happened to me. I mean, that didn't happen to me."
Minjun laughs, bumping his leg against Taehyeon's side. "It wasn't on purpose. Nobody knew it was my first kiss back then except for me. It was just a normal dare."
"A normal dare," Taehyeon repeats.
"Do you want to dare me to kiss you?" Minjun asks, voice quiet and secretive against the shell of Taehyeon's ear.
When Minjun leans back to laugh, Taehyeon wonders what his own face must look like. Minjun's laugh dies off quickly, his mouth slowly falling open into a longer shape. Taehyeon's face must look awful because Minjun stutters over his words before he manages to speak.
"I was joking, I didn't mean it like… wait, it wasn't a joke about you. Can we pretend I never said that?"
Taehyeon nods quickly. They're in the third year corridor. Taehyeon can't have any sort of freak-out about everything here. Whether or not he's the punchline to a joke, he shouldn't react.
"I should get back to my classroom. I think I have time to copy Taeri's homework before the next lesson."
Minjun slips down from the windowsill and looks lost.
"We can still have lunch together, can't we?"
"What about your girlfriend?"
"Suji?" Minjun asks. "I don't think she'll mind. It's not real anyway."
Taehyeon thinks he might mind having lunch with Minjun but he doesn't want to say so. He offers a small wave before he hurries back towards the stairs. He won't even mind if he bumps into Lee Dongmin on the way.
***
Taehyeon only shows his face for a few minutes at lunchtime. He has the unfortunate idea to use Taeri as an excuse to leave. Strangely, she goes along with it and ends up at the same table as Bada, Jeongwon and Hyejin. Hyejin has a notebook and a selection of colourful gel pens spread on the table in front of her and Taehyeon feels like he arrived unprepared with just his tray of food.
"How is it going?" Taeri chirps. "Have you thought of any good ideas yet?"
"What are you talking about?" Taehyeon asks. He has to ask because this interest seems to have come from nowhere.
"We're coming up with ideas for MinJeongwon to make up with each other," Taeri explains, pointing at Jeongwon. The 'Min' part of that joint nickname hasn't been around for a long while. It's enough to make Taeri huff. "Isn't that why you dragged me over here?"
"I didn't drag you. If you don't want to be here then go back to the table with your other friends."
"I can't. Minjun will only ask me to come back here to get you to sit with him again."
"Fine. Don't go anywhere then."
"Did something happen?" Bada asks. He's just had his heart broken. As nice as it would be to commiserate together, Taehyeon doesn't want to make this week about himself.
"Can we get back on topic?" Hyejin asks, slamming her hand onto her notebook. Pens scatter across the table. "Poor Jeongwon is being bored to tears whilst you're ignoring her plight."
Jeongwon isn't anything close to crying but Taehyeon can accept the point. This shouldn't be about him at all. He can take his mind off his horrible awkwardness by working hard to be selfless.
"What ideas do you have so far?"
"Throw a surprise party for Minjeong where she can meet Lee Dongmin's glamorous and sophisticated university girlfriend, tell Minjeong all of our secrets, lock Jeongwon and Minjeong into a small cupboard together, unleash a zombie pathogen, put Bada in a wig and pretend he is Lee Dongmin's glamorous and sophisticated university girlfriend, give Minjeong a concussion, make Jeongwon save Minjeong's life, buy a cake."
"That's a long list," Taeri says cheerily.
"It is," Taehyeon agrees, "but they're all pretty bad ideas."
"What do you think we should do then?" Bada asks.
"Is this really a 'we' problem? She's only fallen out with Jeongwon. You shouldn't be keeping secrets from your friend."
A sharp kick to Taehyeon's shin shuts him up. His top suspect is Bada but he has turned to Jeongwon to lie and say she hasn't done anything wrong.
"How is seeing someone's girlfriend for a minute a secret? It's hardly worth mentioning. It wasn't something being intentionally hidden, no matter how much we'd all like to see her for ourselves," Hyejin grumbles. "I don't want to hear your ideas. You're just being stupid."
"You're saying that to someone who has seen the glamorous and sophisticated girlfriend you've all got your knickers in a twist about?" Taehyeon scoffs.
"What?"
Taehyeon doesn't know what he did to deserve getting choked out in the dinner hall but he wishes he never did it. The moment he is dragged from his seat is not the best time for regret and reflection.
"Get off him," is the weak protest Taehyeon overhears on his behalf. Taehyeon can only pray that is enough to spare his life.
"You've seen his girlfriend too?"
The question is growled against the side of Taehyeon's head. Taehyeon's eyes water against a bright, white light. The constriction around his neck falls away and Taehyeon hacks tremendous coughs as he finally gets some air into his lungs.
"Taehyeon, I thought you said you weren't getting bullied," Minjun says whilst wrapping him in an embrace that has no business feeling so wonderful.
Death would have been preferable.