Seeing Q squirm under the cop didn't bring me as much satisfaction as I hoped. It did bring some, don't get me wrong, but there was still something bugging me... "Did you send your kids to trash my house?" Oh boy, his face is pure poison, I should have been a fucking detective "they probably never even heard my name before, and they do this? Right after you went out of your way to make threats..."
"You were supposed to up and leave like you always do" gotcha fuckface! How can there be so much stupid in such a tiny tiny head?
"Hey officer, you heard that right" if he didn't, doesn't matter cause I have it all on video "we're adding charges for conspiracy to something or other, I don't know, talk to my lawyer"
All of that for what? Is he so afraid that someone will find out that I used to fuck him in the ass? I'm so tempted to say just that, but I refuse to out anyone, even if he is practically begging for it... I'm such a fucking Saint.
So I crouch down, and get really close, so that no one can hear "are you so afraid that I'll tell someone your dark little secret?? Don't worry bruh, I'm not a piece of shit like you are."
I am the fucking bigger person, in your face moral high ground!!!!
I turned around and left cackling like a fucking boss.
Now that was satisfactory.
Jim joins me outside "I thought you two were like best friends or something"
"She is really a bad influence on you, Jee" I'm still laughing.
"Oh fuck, she is going to be a nightmare tonight.... Are you sure you guys want to come over for dinner??"
"Are you fucking kidding? If we don't go, she'll hunt us down, man!"
"She is terrifying, my woman" he says all dreamy and stuff.
"Nothing compared to my man though... Did you see him in there, fuck!!" My pants are tight. Now who sounds dreamy?
"Why you think I'm out here! I do not wanna get in his way man, he's next level"
"That's slander and defamation, are we going to have a problem officer?" We both jump when Fel ambushes us from behind.
"No sir" he salutes and marches inside. "Dinner's at nine" he reminds us as he disappears
I hug my man and kiss him, I kiss him hard.
There is a saying where I come from, "small town, big hell" it basically means that the gossip is ridiculous.
And you never know how the gossip wind is gonna blow. When I was fifteen we went to a festival like 200km away and I got completely wasted, we all did, but the wind blow up my way, and the next day everyone in Helltown was talking about me being in an alcoholic coma, wich never happened, that's the "big hell" part.
So no one could have imagined what happened next, but the list of suspects it's short, I'm sure it could have been one of the cops, but my money is on Q's wife.
Doesn't matter who started.
Because chatty Cathy was going to put an end to it.
We are now standing in front of her house, she is a lot more beautiful than I remember, but her fancy outfit did not mach the rolling pin she was threateningly hitting on her palm "are you really fucking my husband?"