A few days after the muscleman recruitment incident.
Kacchan, who'd been in the hospital for observation, came out and picked fights with me every single day.
Nyah nyah, Sludge Kacchan, cry harder.
Ever since I greeted him kindly with that on day one, it's been nonstop.
A short temper leads to losses. Hope he grows up soon.
"—Midoriya!"
Just as I was teasing Kacchan—who never got tired of picking fights during break—our homeroom teacher came in hot like a Kamchatka wildfire.
I had too many guilty secrets to know what he was mad about. Maybe he found out I copied someone's homework. Maybe it was the rat snake I put in his bag. Or maybe he discovered I swapped Kacchan's name on his test with mine and secretly submitted it.
Yeah, no idea.
"What is it?"
"Put your hand on your chest and think about it."
"There are too many possibilities. I don't know."
"We'll get into all that later. Right now, it's about this."
What he held up was my career path survey form.
And he displayed it for everyone to see. A punishment game special.
Oh, how embarrassing.
"First choice: Marry rich. Preferably a hot, fit young CEO."
"It's every girl's dream."
"Second choice: Win the lottery and become a millionaire."
"It's humanity's dream."
"Third choice: NEET."
"It's the youth's ideal."
Smack—unwarranted violence struck my cheek.
Ow.
"Teacher, isn't that corporal punishment? I'll report you. I'll report you to the board of education."
"Bring it on, Midoriya. Go ahead and try, you spoiled brat. Once they find out a pampered kid like you is the 'victim,' I'll get off with a slap on the wrist and maybe a short suspension. If that makes you shape up, I'll die happy. It'd be the highlight of my teaching career, you moron."
What ridiculous logic.
This guy's a devil in a teacher's skin.
"Anyway, think it over carefully and resubmit."
"What if I turn in the same thing?"
"I'll call your parents and do a three-way meeting."
"Oh—that'd be bad."
If he calls Mom over this, a slap won't be the end of it. A body blow's a given, and I'd have to brace myself for a corkscrew heart-breaking shot.
Reluctantly accepting it back, the teacher reminded me: "Think properly."
"Even if you say 'properly'..."
"This might sound like favoritism, but Midoriya, you've got a good head on your shoulders. Put in some effort. If you really tried, even U.A. wouldn't be a dream."
"Ugh, no way. If I go to a smart school, I'd have to study for real. I want to coast through life."
"Stop being spoiled. Just think it over. High school doesn't decide your entire life, but it's still a major turning point."
Leaving those words behind, the teacher left.
Staring at the form, I decided to talk to Kacchan, who was politely frozen in a pouncing stance beside me.
"Hey, Sludge."
"You got a death wish or what?!!"
"Quit yelling, you're loud. Anyway, about this career path survey—I want to write something decent, so can you tell me some random high school?"
"Hah?! Why the hell would I help you with that?!"
I pointed a finger at Kacchan, who was making an obviously disgusted face. You have no right to refuse.
"I saved you the other day, remember? So you owe me one. Pay it back now and there's no interest."
"Gah! That was—! Tch!! Give it here!! I'll blow it to smithereens right now!! Damn it!!"
I'd be in trouble if he actually blew up the form. Watching with that thought, Kacchan surprisingly wrote down a high school name normally. He's probably a tsundere.
Wait, hold on—the first choice says U.A. And it's for the Hero Course. Wait, wait, wait.
"Oi, Kacchan. The first choice—"
"Shut up!! I'm turning it in for you, so now we're even, got it?!!"
"No no, wait wait, I said wait!! Hey!!"
I had a chase scene with Kacchan in the hallway after that, but I never got the form back. When the teacher saw the submitted form, he delivered the finishing blow: "How wonderful. I'll let your parents know." And so, I was blessed with the task of studying hard to get into U.A.
I'm gonna mess with Kacchan to death later.
And so, half a year passed.
I ended up spending ridiculously busy days.
U.A. High School is the most difficult in the country. It's where insanely smart people gather. You have to study like crazy.
Plus, I was aiming for the Hero Course, which has an even narrower gate. It doesn't just require academics—it demands character and physical fitness too.
Studying wasn't a problem since I can do it when I try, and physical fitness was fine since I work out as a hobby, but character? Completely out. I was confident the school's recommendation would get revoked, but somehow it got approved.
It was so bizarre that my garbage attendance record got me a recommendation that I cornered the teacher about it, and he told me the reason easily.
Apparently, someone at U.A. gave me a special entrance exam slot.
How unnecessary. That's a secret, though. Yes, it's a secret, teacher. Stop, don't contact Mom. I'll get beaten. I'll get beaten badly.
And so, as I spent my ridiculously busy days, more misfortune descended. As part of my training routine, the muscleman started showing up during my runs.
Every time he opened his mouth: Heroes this, Heroes that.
Stop, you're beating a dead horse. Shut up already.
He even started commenting on my training methods.
Seriously unbelievable.
When he switched to scrawny mode, I got revenge with a body blow. Chalk that up to youthful indiscretion and forgive me.
I got yelled at hard, though.
Time flew by as I went through all that, and entrance exams were right around the corner.
Mom had high expectations, so I wanted to pass, but I'd have to try and see, right?
As I devoted my remaining time to studying—unusually for me—I got a funny call from Mom.
Kacchan got knocked down by a cold.
Let me be clear: I laughed. I cracked up. Since it's Kacchan, I exploded with laughter.
Even Mr. Perfect apparently couldn't beat a cold. They say idiots don't catch colds, so it's not weird that the smart guy caught one—wait. By that logic, doesn't that make me look like an idiot? Yeah, never mind that.
Fortunately, there was still time before the exam, so it wouldn't affect anything, but he must be panicking.
Thinking that, I went to Kacchan's house under the guise of visiting the sick—really just to tease him.
"Yes, yes, yes~ Hm? Oh my! Long time no see! Futago-chan! Come in!"
"Hiya. Ms. Mitsuki, it's been a while."
I hadn't visited much since becoming a middle schooler, but Kacchan's mom, Mitsuki, welcomed me into the house warmly. She said she'd bring cake for a snack, so I decided to mess with Kacchan a bit extra before heading home.
Opening Kacchan's door with the same casual vibe as elementary school, I saw him lying in bed, looking at me with a hilariously surprised expression. It was so funny I snapped a photo.
Kacchan exploded in rage.
"You! What the hell are you—cough!! Cough!!"
"That's what you get for yelling when you're sick."
"I-It's your! It's your fault—cough!!"
The cough was bad, but his color wasn't terrible.
I predicted he'd be fine tomorrow.
Man, what perfect timing I came. Good job, me.
Kacchan glared at me with a lethargic look.
Must not be at full strength yet—he wasn't trying to get up from bed. With exams close, maybe he chose to rest on his own.
Well, none of that matters.
"...Oi, you. What the hell are you rummaging through my room for?"
"Huh? What? Can't hear you~"
"There's no way you can't hear me!! You're not even two meters away—cough!!"
"Okay, okay, calm down. I'm not doing anything weird. I'm just interested in Kacchan's taste in women."
"—Hah?!"
I had several reasons for coming here, but my main objective was checking his porn stash. I'm really curious what his tastes are. Once I figure them out, I'm gonna tease him endlessly. Hehehe.
"Stop it, you—huff!?"
"Okay, okay. Let's be good now~"
I quickly rolled sick Kacchan up in his blanket like a sushi roll. Wrapped his mouth with a towel too. Prep complete. Resistance will not be tolerated.
Leaving the immobilized Kacchan behind, I resumed my porn search. Where is it, where is it?
Under the bed—the classic spot? Nope.
Bottom of the closet? Nope.
Inside the dresser? Nope.
Hmm. Does he not have any?
When I looked at Kacchan with that suspicion, his eyes were darting around.
Oh, he's definitely got something (certain).
Maybe he's not a physical copy guy? Thinking that, I grabbed Kacchan's phone. His eyes were darting like crazy.
This is a hit (certain).
It was password-locked, but no big deal. I didn't become his childhood friend for nothing. I tried numbers I thought might work. Birthday, student number, height, weight, parents' birthdays maybe?
But it wouldn't open. Hmm.
I looked at Kacchan's eyes.
His eyes are always the most honest, so they're a huge hint. What's this? Why's he staring so hard?
"Don't tell me—"
I tried my birthday.
Whoa, it opened. Seriously?
This was a blind spot. This guy—foreseeing this day might come, he pulled this stunt deliberately. You'd never think someone else's birthday would be in a phone lock. And you especially wouldn't think it'd be mine—the person expected to try opening it.
What a strategist, Zhuge Liang!!
Anyway, since I got it unlocked, let's start checking.
"—You two, I brought snacks! Is it okay to come in? Hehehe."
Oh, interruption.
This situation would definitely raise questions, so I untied Kacchan. The instant he was freed, he snatched back his phone with speed rivaling light itself. Curling up like an armadillo clutching his phone and retreating into his blanket like a turtle—an impenetrable fortress. Can't touch this.
Damn, I messed up. Zhuge Liang!!
"—Sigh. Can't be helped. Oh, you can come in."
"Okay~ Ms. Mitsuki's coming into the room of youth in full bloom~ Wait, Katsuki, what are you doing?"
"Shut up, hag!!"
Ms. Mitsuki tilted her head.
Then looked at me.
I shrugged. Don't ask me.
Ms. Mitsuki looked exasperated too.
After that, I didn't really talk to Kacchan. I had a girls' chat with Ms. Mitsuki over cake and left at a reasonable time.
On my way out, I gave him a pep talk: "Even if you fail, I'll be waiting for you on the other side, so feel free to let that cold get worse, okay?" He gave me a healthy response of "Shut up!!" so he'll be fine.
Still, I wonder what Kacchan's taste in girls actually is. I'll ask his friends later.