One morning, after a couple weeks, no one came into the room except Yi. He helped Ling sit up and supported him as they walked to the bathroom. Ling looked up, confused, before staring at the bathtub. Why did he need to shower? He turned back to Yi.
"You should take a shower, I'll help you" He picked up the shower head and turned it on, passing it to Ling. "Run the water over you arm and scrub with the soap. "
Ling tried to hold the shower, but dropped it, splashing water all over the bathroom. His eyes widened and he covered his head.
"I'm sorry! I'm sorry..." He tried to get the words out at fast as possible, trembling, shielding his head, "Not the ribs, please..." He crouched down in the bathtub waiting for impact.
Yi smiled and picked up the shower again and passed it back to Ling, urging him to try again, nodding his head. He didn't hit him. Ling grabbed it firmly, his hand shaking as he let the water pour over him, he looked at Yi; he didn't think about what to do next, he hadn't done this in so long. Yi was patient, gently walking though and explained each step, even demonstrating, getting his expensive three piece suit wet; it was the same one he wore when they first met. He helped Ling as he struggled when he couldn't hold something or forgot the steps.
When they got back to the bed Yi pulled out a set of clothes, a shirt and jeans. He handed them over, but Ling just held them and looked back at Yi.
It was such a tiresome process, trying to get the clothes onto Ling, but Yi never got mad he was patient and gentle. Once he had the trousers on Yi smiled.
The fabric rubbed against Ling's skin as he moved, trying to get comfy; He hadn't worn anything in a while.
What did did he want? Ling immediately started fumbling to quickly undo the trousers again, his hands trembled as he fiddled with the button. If he was too slow he would get hit right? But Yi placed a firm hand on his and continued to help him change. Ling didn't understand but just did what he was told, always flinching whenever Yi lifted his hand.
When Ling was trying to eat he kept dropping the spoon, spilling the porridge onto the carpet and bed. He was trying so hard, scared that maybe Yi would finally lose patience and hit him if he kept making mistakes. But his hands wouldn't stay still and no matter how much he focused, he could never get a full spoon into his mouth.
Every day was the same for weeks, Ling would be woken up and Yi would help him shower and change, helping and coaxing Ling whenever he made a mistake. He started to feel more confident in the routine, gaining strength in his arms and legs. Even though he had wasted away to nothing; he felt stronger and fuller, opening his eyes in the light. He could walk and sleep without any troubles.
~
One night, as Ling was tucking himself into bed, he noticed the door was slightly a jar. Yi had forgotten to lock it. He though long and hard, was escaping worth it? If he got caught it might end up worse for him, things finally seemed to be getting better for him. He wasn't being hit and no one went into his room, ever. But surely it would be a waste to let this go? His thoughts jumbled and his head throbbed, he grasped at his overgrown hair. His bruises had been mostly healed for a while and he felt good enough to run, he was even fully dressed thanks to the clothes he was given everyday.
It was the perfect night to escape.
He crept up towards the door and peered out into the hallway. He recognised the layout of the house, the stairs were not far but the front door was in a wide open space and especially loud to open. If he was quick he could make it.
He waited until he was sure it was late enough that people would be asleep before creeping out into the hall, the grey wallpaper and flowers surrounded him; the red carpet seemed to get longer and longer the faster he tried to run and the walls began to spin around him. His breathing fastened and his chest rose and fell at intervals, his heartbeat becoming uneven. Eventually, he reached the stairs and stopped right over the edge of them. He arms swung back to keep balance. But his legs lost their footing and he fell to the ground, tailbone first, straight into the wooden floor.
He grunted in pain as he tried to stand back up, glancing behind him to check if anyone saw. He started down the steps, grasping at the banister as he made his way down; the distance gave him that sickening virtigo feeling. His head reeled as he took another step down and only got worse as he made his way to the front door.
When he got to the bottom, he needed his arms to steady himself. The door was intricate, with stained glass and gold ornaments decorating it, it was breathtaking but didn't disguise the large lock attached.
Ling turned the lock, opened the door and ran. He didn't look back; he didn't dare. The sound he made was so loud it was bound to have woken Yi up. He sprinted as fast as his legs could carry him straight into the darkness and unfamiliar streets.
The world around his spun as he took in the sights, the air, the space. It felt like he had never experienced it before, the air was so fresh and cold and the stars glinted in the black sky. He watched his breath condense rise into the sky. The moon shone, reflecting off Ling's eyes, bringing the light back to them.
For the first time in a while, he smiled, taking it all in. The freedom created a new feeling in his chest, it rose and fell faster and faster as he ran down the empty road, his bare feet scraping against the tarmac. But he didn't notice, not when everything around him felt so new and alive.
The next day he arrived back home. Everything was just as he had left it, tomatoes rotting in the fridge, clothes on the ground and a half open book on the table. He stared at his house. Where was his bathroom? He walked around looking in the rooms trying to find his way around. How long it had been... He scrambled around the room looking for the date.
It had been over a month.
Ling didn't have a phone, he wanted to talk to Er but there was no way to contact him. He decided going back to work to talk to San would be a good idea, he would be able to confront him and quit.
When he got the office, it was painfully quiet even though it was a weekday. There was the odd person sitting at their desks but other than that it was completely empty. An uncomfortable tension filed the air as Ling walked towards the office door. He knocked gently, careful not to draw attention. His hand trembled remembering how San had hit him before; but it didn't as scary anymore.
San opened the door and his mouth dropped open. He was so shocked that Ling was even alive, though he looked like shit. His clothes were baggy on him and his eyes were sunken in, his lips dry and cracked.
"Come inside..." He was too busy taking in Ling's appearance to hit him or shout. He used to be so good looking right? Ling got on his knees again and tried to say something, anything, but his mouth couldn't move and his eyes were glued to the floor, unable to make eye contact. He was so much more nervous than he thought he'd be, his heart jumped up his chest and his whole body began to shake. He squeezed his hands into fists in effort to calm down.
"How was you little holiday?" San smiled, looking down at him, "I heard you're a talent!" San glanced behind him to check the door was shut took a step forward. He was grinning with that same face Ling recognised, lust behind his eyes.
Fear immediately spread through him and he stood up. San slapped him, his face stung and he fell to the ground; legs buckling under him as he stared up, eyes shaking, looking at the back lit face standing over him. He pulled himself to the corner of the room and covered himself with his arms, curling up, trying to make himself smaller. San kicked his side and Ling cried out in pain. The tears gathered in his eyelashes as he held back the tears.
San started to undo his trousers with one hand as he lifted Ling's head with the other. He was already hard.
"Don't act like that, I know you're a slut." Ling closed his eyes and a tears rolled down his cheek; he took a breath in to calm himself but San just pushed himself against his face. The smell hit the back of his throat and he gaged.
He scrunched his face and pushed him away with all the strength he could muster, stood up, and punched San in the jaw. He heard it crack. And punched him again and again. He shouted into the empty office space like he was possessed and beat San's face until it was bloody and his nose caved in. His knuckles were raw and his hands were shaking. He looked down at the backs of his knuckles and his tears dripped onto his wounds; they stung as the salt hit them.
As he left the office there were a few eyes on him, he shuffled past and left the building swiftly and made his way to Er's house. It look him a while to walk but it gave him time to look around and take in the area.
He made a couple wrong turns along the way but when he managed to get to Er's from door; his hand hesitated right before knocking. He looked down at his shoes and saw how grubby he looked. He felt embarrassed that he looked so awful but also the pestering amount of shame that he held in him, eating away at his heart with every thought and movement. Did he have it in him to tell Er anything?
The door creaked open in front of him; he didn't even need to knock. Er's face appeared behind the door, eyes widening as he realised who it was.
"I thought you were dead..."