**22.00 GMT-6, 13 February 1996, Alkali Lake, CANADA**
X-23
The world was Loud and Red.
X-23 had squeezed herself into the smallest ball she could make in the corner of her hard bed. The Loud hurt her ears. The red light hurt her eyes. She pressed her hands over her face, trying to make it all go away. Loud and Red always meant Bad Things. Bad Things meant Hurts.
Then, a new sound. The door hissed. Not a bang. A smooth sound.
She peeked through her fingers. The door was open. The Red light from the hallway made two shapes. Two boys. One bigger, one smaller. She had never seen them before. They were not the guy in the white coats. They were covered in the wet, red stuff that smelled like the room after the hurts happened.
They also smell dangerous.
But familiar…
The bigger one moved. He came into the room very slowly. He knelt down, making himself smaller. His mouth moved.
"It's okay," he said, his voice soft but shaky. "We're not going to hurt you."
X-23 understood the words. They said that too, right before the Hurts. She curled tighter, a low whimper escaping her throat.
Lies.
The boy looked desperate. He looked at the smaller boy, who just watched with quiet, serious eyes.
"We're your brothers," the big one said. "My name is Wade. That's Ken. We're going to find our Mom and Dad. Your Mom and Dad too."
Brothers. Mom. Dad. X-23 didn't know what those words were. Is this a new trick? A new kind of pain they'll give her?
She shook her head, pressing her face harder into her knees.
Then, the big one–Wade–did something different. He started to hum. It was a familiar sound, X-23 had heard it before. Before the pain and hurts started. It cut through the sharp edge of the Loud.
A beautiful auburn haired woman with white streak came to mind.
Her shaking lessened. She peeked again.
He slowly, so slowly, held out his hand. It was empty. It was covered in the red stuff that usually came from her, but it was open. Not a fist or those shiny things they usually used on her.
X-23 stared at it. She looked at his face. His eyes were green, and they looked wet. He wasn't smiling a mean smile. He looked… sad. And scared. Like she felt.
The smaller boy—Ken—nodded once, he didn't speak.
But somehow she knew he also felt it too.
Something in their smell… It was strange. Under the scary smell of the red stuff and the cold hallway, there was something else. Something that felt like her. A like-ness.
Hesitantly, her heart hammering, she uncurled one hand. She reached out and let her fingertips brush his palm.
The touch was warm. He didn't grab her. He didn't move.
The like-ness in the smell got stronger. It felt like a blanket. It felt… safe.
Suddenly, she uncurled completely and lunged forward, burying her face in his neck. She was so tired of being scared. His arms closed around her, and he stood up, holding her tight. He was solid. He was warm. safe.
A waterfall of tears burst out from her eyes.
"Okay," he whispered, his voice rumbling in his chest against her ear. "I've got you. I've got you now."
He held her with one arm and took Ken's hand with the other. The three of them walked into the Loud, Red hallway. X-23 kept her eyes shut tight. She didn't know who these boys were. She didn't know what "brothers" or what "Laura" meant when they called her. But the one called Wade was holding her, and for the first time, being held didn't mean she was about to be hurt. For now, that was enough.
WADE
With Ken on his back and Laura in his arms, the facility's door suddenly closes off really fast, signalling the full lockdown of the building. The red emergency lights flash ominously, casting long shadows in the sterile corridors. Wade's heart pounds as he realizes that the real challenge has just begun.
(Well, the easy way out is officially off the menu. Time to improvise.)
/You should watch out for guards! You really did a number on their late friends!/
"Okay, little sibs, change of plans. They know we're out. We have to move fast—no more sneaking around."
(Wait, we were actually sneaking around before?)
/It was more like a massacre in my humble opinion./
Ken growled low in his throat, understanding, while Laura's grip on his arm tightened, her tiny claws pricking his skin.
Wade's mind raced, tapping into the flickering map tablet thingy that he stole from one of the scientists.
(They must be new hires, poor things.)
The building was a maze of high-tech security: automated turrets, laser grids, and more blast doors. He could feel the systems trying to lock him out, to herd them into a kill box.
/You could just disable the systems. But nooo! we had do this the hard way./
"And miss all the fun?" Wade muttered, a sharp grin cutting through his grimace. "Besides, they've got to learn some situational awareness. It's a family fun night after all!"
He led them forward, his enhanced reflexes and the internal schematic allowing him to guide them through the gauntlet. He crouched as a laser grid activated ahead, beams crisscrossing in an unpredictable, deadly pattern.
(Whoever designed this place must have been a big fan of laser shows. Hey! Maybe we should've brought our own glow sticks.)
/Do you really think you could acrobat through all of that with two toddlers clinging on your body?/
"Stay close kids! This is going to require some fancy footwork. Music!!!"
Wade begins weaving through the lasers, his body is dancing, twisting, and turning with the precision of a trained acrobat. He tinker with the tablet he got in his hand and played the song Lets Get It Started by Black Eyed Peas as he dances through the laser course.
/How the hell did you got that thing played on this era!/
(The author allowed it because he too lazy to find anything that remotely banger as that song in this era.)
Ken clings tightly to his back, while Laura is securely nestled against his chest. Both smiling and laughing while their brother funkily avoided the laser. Halfway through the grid, just as Wade makes a particularly sharp turn, Ken's grip slips, and he falls from Wade's back.
(UH oh! MAN DOWN! MAN DOWN! I REPEAT MAN DOWN!)
/RIP Lil Bro, but hasn't he got super regenerative power too? I don't think we need to be that worried./
Wade's heart skips a beat the seconds he turns to see Ken land on his feet, miraculously only have minor scratches from the laser that is already healing. Before Wade can even react, Ken starts mimicking Wade's movements, dodging the lasers with uncanny precision.
(Some even say, better than us. Look! he even copied our little funky dances too!)
/Monkey see, monkey do I guess./
"I don't think Laura is the cause of my death in the near future anymore, It's definitely him! Super healing factor or not! No, they're both gonna be my causes of death!"
Wade, Ken, and Laura made it past the laser grid, with Wade still marveling at how his little brother managed to follow his funky dance moves to avoid the deadly beams. But now, with the three of them standing in the cold, sterile corridor, Wade felt the tension start to creep in.
(You know, this place needs some redecorating. A few explosions here, some chaos there…)
/You guys are nuts…/
Wade grinned, mischief twinkling in his eyes as he turned to Ken and Laura. "Alright, my little cubs, how do you feel about causing some chaos and a late birthday present?"
Ken growled in agreement, already on board, while Laura tilted her head, curious but unsure. Wade could see the spark of excitement in her eyes, though.
(They're totally into it. We've got ourselves two tiny agent of chaos in the making!)
/I fear for the future of this family…/
"Let's blow this popsicle stand, Deadpool style!" Wade declared, pumping his fists in the air. Ken mimicked the action with a feral grin, and even Laura raised her tiny fists, a glimmer of joy in her usually guarded expression.
As they started making their way down the corridor, Wade tapped into the tablet that he stole before, grinning as he accessed the facility's control system and weapon storages. Something shiny caught his eye in the weapon storage. Wade pulls two shiny familiar twin Katana.
(Ooooh, Is that Adamantium Katana? Like the original Deadpool had? Bea and Arthur? Sweeet, we're really taking Deadpool's business really well!)
/All that we really need now is the really thigh spandex suits and we could become the whole package!/
'Ohh, how I love my own plot device!
After some tinkering and finding weapon montages in the weapon room, Wade hacked into the PA system, his voice booming throughout the complex. "Attention, all you brainless minions! This is your unfriendly neighborhood Deadpool, and I've got some special guests with me today. We'll be redecorating the place, starting with your faces! So if you're in the mood for a surprise lobotomy, come on down! Consider this my resignation letter. And my severance package!"
/That should get their attention!/
(They'll be lining up to meet the stars of the show!)
Wade grinned as he watched the security cameras show guards scrambling through the hallways. "Let's give them something to remember us by!" He quickly started setting off random alarms, opening and closing blast doors at random, and triggering the sprinklers. The facility was plunged into chaos in no time. He also made all of the cell's door and containment open and couldn't be closed again.
"To all mutant brothers and sisters in this hell of facility, you are free now! Cause hell and fury to your abusers, captors and abductor! Regain your freedom! Say it with me! FREEDOOOM!!!"
(FREEDOOOM!!!)
/FREEDOOOM!!!/
After he made some half-assed speech on the intercoms, Wade played the Let It Go song from Frozen and left the room.
/How could he keep getting away with using songs from another timeline! We are in the 90s dammnit!/
Wade and the kids burst into one of the main corridors, where several guards were already converging, their weapons raised. Before the guards could even react, Wade grabbed a fire extinguisher off the wall and hurled it at them. It hit the ground with a clang, releasing a thick cloud of white foam that filled the corridor.
"Let it go, let it go! Can't hold it back anymore!" Wade sang, as he rolled through the foam, knocking guards off their body with a playful swipe of his swords. Ken followed suit, diving into the foam with a gleeful growl and popping up like a feral Olaf the snowman to the guards before punching and clawing their faces. Laura, meanwhile, darted between their legs, tripping them up as she giggled, her tiny claws swiping at their ankles.
(Olaf the Snowman had a very bloody fist~~~!).
/I dont think that's how the lyrics supposed to be sang…/
As the guards slipped and stumbled in the foam, Wade's eyes lit up with a particularly wacky idea. He quickly rigged a bunch of grenades to one of the guards' belts and gave him a hard shove, sending him sliding down the slippery floor toward his buddies.
"Kobe!" Wade yelled while throwing one grenade that he already rigged specifically like a basketball, he then pulled Ken and Laura to the ground just as the grenades exploded in a spectacular shower of foam, blood and guts of the victims. Oh don't forget the confetti from the shred probably important files that he tinkers to those grenades before.
/Did you–did you fill those grenades with confetti?/
(How the hell do you do that?)
'My plot armours, obviously!'
Wade popped up from the floor, now covered in foam and confetti, his grin wide as ever.
"That's what I call a blast!" he quipped, pulling Ken up by the scruff of his neck and throwing him at his back again. Laura, giggling, leaped onto Wade's back, wrapping her tiny arms around his neck.
"Alright, troops, onward! We've got more chaos to spread!" Wade announced, charging down the corridor with Ken and Laura in tow.
They continued their wacky escape, with Wade setting off more pranks along the way. He switched the facility's elevators to play an obnoxiously loud elevator music version of NSync "Bye, Bye, Bye" causing guards to cover their ears in agony.
/Again!?!?!? He can't keep getting away trying to force inaccurate era music to this timeline!/
(No one cares!)
"IT'S FUNNY!"
Ken discovered that he could use his claws to carve smiley faces into the butt of the guards they fought, which Wade enthusiastically encouraged, while Laura used her tiny claws to shred the faces of every guard she encountered.
When they finally reached their destination, Wade made sure to trip every alarm and set off every remaining booby trap in the building. As they burst through the final door, alarms blaring and sparks flying, Wade paused dramatically, turning back to look at the piles of dead bodies he and his siblings just massacred.
"You've been a great audience! Don't forget to tip your waiter–wait, scratch that, they're all dead. Anyway, see ya, suckers!" Wade yelled before he opened the door to his parent containment chamber.