The Grand Line is a place where common sense goes to die. It is a stretch of ocean where magnetic fields run wild, seasons change at the drop of a hat, and islands defy the very laws of physics.
But even by Grand Line standards, today was going to be weird.
The Going Merry cut through the blue waves, her sails billowing in a steady tailwind. The sun was high, reflecting off the water like a million scattered diamonds. It had been a few days since they left Skypiea, and the crew had settled into a new, terrifying routine.
Inside the Time Chamber
The door to the pocket dimension was sealed, but inside the endless white void, the air was thick with the smell of ozone, blood, and sweat.
CLANG!
Sparks flew as a black leg collided with a black blade.
"Is that all you've got, Moss-head?" Sanji roared, his leg blazing with Diable Jambe, coated in the hardening of Armament Haki. He spun in mid-air, delivering a heel drop that could have cracked a mountain.
"I'm just getting started, Curly-brows!" Zoro grinned savagely, his three swords coated in a similar obsidian sheen. He didn't dodge. He swung Wado Ichimonji up to meet the kick.
The impact created a shockwave that rippled across the white tiles. Bones creaked. Skin burned.
They weren't holding back. They were fighting to maim. To kill.
Why? Because they knew the Magician could fix them.
"If I break your ribs," Sanji grunted, pushing against the blade, "Ben will just wave his wand and fix it. So I don't have to pull my punches!"
"Exactly!" Zoro laughed, a manic glint in his eye. "Santoryu... Oni Giri!"
A few hundred meters away, the earth shook.
BOOM!
Luffy was flying backward, tumbling across the ground. He skidded to a halt, bruised and battered. Standing opposite him was Brogy, fully restored to his titanic Elbaf size by Ben's magic, wielding his massive axe.
"Gebababababa! Come on, Little Giant!" Brogy roared, his voice like thunder. "Your Haki is strong, but your size is small! Push through!"
"I'm coming!" Luffy wiped blood from his lip. He didn't use his rubber stretching. He clenched his fists, forcing his Haki to flow darker, harder. "Again!"
Further away, in a quieter sector of the void, Dory (kept at human size) was swinging a sword with frightening speed.
"Sense it!" Dory commanded.
Usopp and Chopper, both blindfolded, were dancing around the blade like nervous cats.
"Eeek! That was close!" Usopp squeaked, ducking under a horizontal slash.
"I felt the wind!" Chopper cheered, jumping over a low sweep.
The Dining Room
While the monster trio and the brave duo fought for their lives in a dimension of infinite nothingness, the atmosphere in the Going Merry's dining room was the definition of civilized refinement.
Ben sat at the round table, sipping a cup of Earl Grey. Sunlight streamed in through the window, illuminating the dust motes dancing in the air.
"More tea, Nami-san?" Ben offered, lifting the pot.
"Thanks," Nami smiled, holding out her cup. She looked relaxed, reviewing a navigational chart. "It's so quiet today. It's nice."
"It is," Vivi agreed, sitting next to Mini Merry. She was helping the android girl braid her new, real hair. "Although... isn't it a little too quiet? Where are the boys?"
"Training," Ben said casually, pouring the tea. "Zoro and Sanji are currently trying to murder each other in the Time Chamber. Luffy is wrestling a Giant. And Usopp is trying not to get decapitated."
Robin, who was reading a book on the history of the Grand Line, chuckled softly. "You say 'murder' with such calmness, Magician-san. Should we be worried about medical supplies?"
"Nah," Ben waved a hand. "I gave them potions. And if they really break something, I'll just use a healing charm. Pain is the best teacher, especially when you know it's not permanent."
"Papa is scary," Mini Merry giggled, checking her reflection in a mirror. "But effective!"
"Exactly," Ben patted her head. "Efficiency is key."
Just then, the ship's internal speakers crackled.
"Alert. Alert. Land ho!"
It was Mini Merry's automated system voice (distinct from her new, human-like voice).
"Large island mass detected at 12 o'clock. Topography matches archive data for... Long Ring Long Land."
"Long Ring Long Land?" Nami blinked. "What a weird name."
"Sounds long," Vivi noted.
"Time to wake the boys," Ben stood up. He walked over to the intercom on the wall and pressed the button connecting to the Time Chamber.
"Attention, gladiators. Recess is over. We have an island. Try not to bleed on the carpet when you come out."
The Land of Stretch
By the time the crew assembled on the deck, the Going Merry was drifting into a natural harbor. The water was crystal clear, revealing white sand beneath.
But the island itself was... bizarre.
It looked like a massive, green ring floating on the ocean. The trees were visible even from this distance, but they looked wrong.
"Are those... palm trees?" Sanji squinted, lighting a cigarette. He had a fresh bandage on his cheek, courtesy of Zoro's hilt. "Why are they so tall?"
"Everything looks stretched," Zoro grunted, rotating his shoulder which popped loudly. "Weird place."
"Drop anchor!" Ben commanded.
The anchor splashed down. Before the ship even settled, three figures (and one bird) were already vibrating at the rail.
"Okay!" Luffy adjusted his hat. "Exploration Team! Assemble!"
"Captain Usopp, ready for duty!" Usopp saluted, striking a pose.
"Doctor Chopper, ready to find new medicine!" Chopper cheered, adjusting his backpack.
"QUACK!" Caroo, the Spot-Billed Duck, flapped his wings, wearing his aviator goggles and a small backpack Ben had made for him.
"Hold on!" Nami stormed over, grabbing Luffy by the ear. "Listen to me! We don't know anything about this island! It could be dangerous! There could be Marines! Or monsters! Or weird weather!"
"Owwowowow! Nami!" Luffy whined. "But it looks fun!"
"Stay within visual range!" Nami ordered. "And don't eat anything purple! And if you see a Marine ship, run away immediately! Do not—I repeat, DO NOT—punch an Admiral!"
"Yeah, yeah, got it!" Luffy pulled his ear free. "Don't punch purple Admirals! Let's go, guys!"
"That's not what I said!"
Ignoring the Navigator's fury, the trio + duck leaped over the railing.
Splash! Thud!
They landed on the soft, white sand of the beach.
"FREEDOM!" Luffy shouted, sprinting toward the grassy plains.
"Wait for me!" Chopper ran after him on all fours.
"Don't leave the brave captain behind!" Usopp yelled, jumping onto Caroo's back. "Mush, Caroo! Mush!"
"QUACK!" Caroo took off like a rocket, kicking up ground.
On the ship, Ben chuckled, leaning against the railing next to Robin. "Well, there they go. Should we take bets on how long until they find trouble?"
"Five minutes," Zoro yawned, sitting down to nap against the mast.
"I give them three," Sanji muttered, heading back to the kitchen. "I need to prep lunch. With the way they burned calories in the chamber, they'll be back starving in an hour."
The Bamboo Man
Luffy, Usopp, Chopper, and Caroo ran inland, leaving the beach behind. The grass here was lush and green, but just like the trees, it felt... elongated. The blades of grass were taller than Chopper.
"This place is weird," Usopp whispered, looking around nervously. "Why is everything so... vertical?"
"Maybe the gravity is low?" Chopper theorized, sniffing a flower that had a stem three feet long. "Or maybe the sunlight pulls things up?"
"Look!" Luffy pointed. "A bear!"
They froze. Emerging from the tall grass was a bear. But it wasn't a normal bear. It was a bear that looked like it had been put through a pasta maker. Its body was impossibly tall and thin, its legs like stilts. It walked with a swaying, towering gait.
"It's... a hiking bear?" Usopp blinked. "No... it's a Long-Bear!"
"Cool!" Luffy's eyes widened. "Hey! Bear! Do you poop?"
The bear ignored him and kept walking, grabbing a fruit from a high branch without even standing on its tiptoes.
"It ignored me," Luffy pouted.
"Look at that dog!" Chopper pointed.
A dog trotted by. It looked like a dachshund, but its midsection was so long that its hind legs arrived five seconds after its front legs passed them.
"It's a Looooong Dog!" Luffy laughed. "Shishishishi! Everything here is looooong!"
They continued their trek, marveling at the bizarre ecosystem. Eventually, they came upon a clearing. In the middle of the vast, green plain stood a solitary house. It was a nomadic-style tent-house, round and white.
"A house!" Luffy said. "Maybe there's meat inside!"
"Or a monster," Usopp raised his slingshot. "Careful, men. This could be the lair of the Long-Witch."
They approached cautiously. There was no one around. The place seemed deserted.
Next to the house, tied to a very long stake, was a horse.
"Whoa," Chopper tilted his head back.
The horse was... ridiculous. Its legs were spindly and thin, stretching up at least twenty feet. Its neck was equally long. It looked more like a giraffe that was trying to be a horse. It chewed on the grass lazily, looking down at the tiny intruders with bored eyes.
"That's a tall horse," Luffy stated the obvious. "Hey, horse! Where's your owner?"
The horse just chewed.
"Maybe nobody lives here?" Chopper sniffed the air. "I smell... old cheese. And bamboo."
"Bamboo?" Usopp looked around. "I don't see any bamboo forest."
"Over there," Chopper pointed.
Near the back of the house, there were two extremely tall, green stalks rising into the sky. They looked like bamboo poles, swaying gently in the wind. But unlike normal bamboo, these two stalks were... wearing shoes?
Luffy squinted. He walked closer.
Sure enough, at the base of the "bamboo" stalks were two wooden clogs.
"Weird bamboo," Luffy poked it. It was hard. "It's wearing shoes."
"Maybe it's a Bamboo-Man?" Usopp suggested, hiding behind Caroo. "A monster that disguises itself as a plant to eat travelers!"
"Don't be silly," Chopper said, though he was trembling. "Plants don't wear shoes."
"This is the Grand Line, Chopper! Anything is possible! Maybe it's a Shoe-Tree!"
Luffy looked up. The stalks went up, up, up... disappearing into the glare of the sun. He couldn't see the top.
"I bet it's tasty," Luffy decided. "Bamboo shoots are good in soup. Sanji can cook this!"
"You're going to eat the shoe-plant?" Usopp asked incredulously.
"Yeah!" Luffy wound up his leg. "It looks tough. Better break it first!"
"Wait, Luffy!" Chopper warned. "We don't know what it is!"
"Gomu Gomu no... Whip!"
Luffy ignored the warning. His leg stretched out, whipping around with the force of a cannonball. He aimed low, right above the wooden clogs.
CRACK!
The sound was sickeningly loud, like snapping a dry branch the size of a telephone pole.
The "bamboo" shattered.
"AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!"
A scream echoed from the sky. Not a bird scream. A very human, very old, very terrified scream.
"Eh?" Luffy looked up.
"It screamed!" Usopp yelled. "The plant screamed!"
"Down below!" Chopper pointed.
From high above, something was falling. It plummeted through the air, flailing its limbs. It got bigger and bigger.
THUD!
A cloud of dust exploded as the object hit the ground right in front of them.
Luffy, Usopp, Chopper, and Caroo stared at the crater.
Lying in the dirt, groaning in pain, was not a piece of bamboo. It was an old man. A very short, very wrinkled old man with a long, white beard that was currently wrapped around his neck. He wore a green jumpsuit that looked like it hadn't been washed in a decade.
"Owwwww..." the old man groaned, rubbing his back. "My back... my poor back..."
"IT'S A PERSON!" Chopper screamed, rushing forward with his medical kit. "Luffy! You kicked an old man out of the sky!"
"I thought he was bamboo!" Luffy defended himself.
"Why was he in the sky?!" Usopp demanded.
The old man sat up, cracking his spine. He blinked, looking at the group with confused, watery eyes.
"Who... who are you people?" he rasped. "Are you... angels? Did I finally die?"
"We're pirates!" Luffy grinned. "I'm Luffy!"
"Pirates?" The old man's eyes widened. He looked around. He saw the ground. He touched the grass. He grabbed a handful of dirt and rubbed it on his face.
"The ground..." he whispered. "The sweet, solid ground! EARTH! I'M ON THE EARTH!"
He started rolling around in the grass, laughing maniacally. "I'm down! I'm finally down! Thank you! Thank you, kind strangers!"
Luffy looked at Usopp. "He's weird."
"You kicked him down," Usopp whispered back. "Maybe he has a concussion."
"I am Tonjit!" the old man announced, standing up (he was very short). "I have been stuck up there... for ten years!"
"TEN YEARS?!" The crew shouted in unison.
"Yes!" Tonjit pointed at the broken remains of the "bamboo." "Those... those were my stilts."
"Stilts?" Chopper looked at the shattered poles. "You were walking on stilts that tall?"
"It is the tradition of this island!" Tonjit explained proudly. "Everything here is long. So, to see far, we use long stilts. I challenged the world record for the tallest stilts! I climbed up them ten years ago!"
"And?" Usopp asked. "And then what?"
"Then..." Tonjit looked embarrassed. He twiddled his thumbs. "Then... I got scared. They were too tall. I couldn't get down. So I just... stayed there."
There was a long silence. The wind blew through the tall grass.
"FOR TEN YEARS?!" Usopp screamed. "You stayed on stilts for ten years because you were SCARED TO JUMP?!"
"I lived on sky-fruits and rainwater!" Tonjit nodded solemnly. "I slept standing up! It was a true test of endurance!"
"That's... kinda cool," Luffy admitted. "Stupid, but cool."
"Wait," Chopper realized something. "If you were up there for ten years... is that your horse?"
Tonjit froze. His eyes bulged.
"SHELLY!"
He spun around and ran toward the tall horse. The horse, Shelly, lowered her long neck down to the ground. She nuzzled the old man, letting out a happy whinny.
"Oh, Shelly!" Tonjit hugged the horse's nose, weeping. "You waited for me! You waited ten years! You're such a good girl!"
It was a touching reunion. Man and Horse, reunited after a decade of height-based separation.
"Aww," Chopper sniffled, wiping his eyes. "That's so sweet."
"QUACK," Caroo saluted the loyal horse.
"But wait," Tonjit stopped crying. He looked at his broken stilts. "I broke the record... but now I can't see my village! They move around the island! How will I find them?"
"We can help!" Luffy offered. "We're exploring anyway! We'll help you find your village!"
"Really?" Tonjit beamed. "You would do that? Oh, thank you! But first... do you have any food? I haven't eaten solid food in a decade."
"We have food on the ship!" Luffy pointed toward the coast. "Sanji makes the best food! Come with us!"
"Okay!" Tonjit climbed onto Shelly (which took a while because she had to kneel all the way down). "Let's go to your ship! I will tell you all about Long Ring Long Land!"
As Tonjit and the Straw Hats began their trek back to the ship, laughing and cheering, the shadow of a massive ship—the Sexy Foxy—began to loom over the horizon, unseen by the happy crew, but felt by the Magician back on the Merry who knew the future all too well.
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A/N: Check Out My new Fanfics
1. Naruto: Golden Sage
2. The Force of The North