"Leave."
Behind the Tengu mask, Sakonji Urokodaki's voice sounded cold, devoid of feeling.
At his feet, a young man named Marcus, with dull blond hair, was clutching the leg of his pants, and all over his face, written in big bold letters: pity.
"I don't wanna, master!!"
He was on the verge of crying. "Please don't abandon me!"
"I am not your master." Freeing himself from his hands, Urokodaki turned around to leave.
"It's been several months and you can't even grasp the fundamentals of a breathing technique... I have never had a disciple so devoid of talent as you."
And yeah, it hurt to hear it, but the thing is, it was true.
Eight months. EIGHT. And Marcus still couldn't feel a damn thing from the Total Concentration of Water Breathing. Every time he tried, he choked on his own breath and started coughing like someone had shoved pepper straight into his lungs.
"But master! You know! You know what runs through these veins! Kicking me out of here is basically slapping a bow on me, laying me on a silver platter, and ringing the demons' doorbell with a sign that says 'ALL YOU CAN EAT, GENTLEMEN!' Is that what you want? For them to devour me!?"
"Is your heart really that dry, that withered, to send me off to die like this? ME? Who looks at you with these eyes full of admiration and respect? Because if so, say it to my face, master... tell me you don't care about me even a little bit... and I'll leave crying... though I am coming back."
These words made Urokodaki stop.
Indeed...
Marechi Blood is something irresistible to demons.
And this kid's blood in particular was something else... something different, something that even he couldn't quite wrap his head around. All he knew was that eating Marcus would be the equivalent of devouring over a hundred humans.
If no one caught his scent, well, nothing would happen. But the moment a single demon picked up his trail... it was over. There would be no corner left to hide in.
And being honest with himself, if he let him walk down the mountain just like that, strolling around with that blood running through his veins... he wouldn't last more than a few days.
"... At the foot of the mountain there's a village, I'll find you a place to live." Urokodaki's tone softened just a tiny bit. "If something happens, I'll come see you."
"And what if you're too late? What if the demons jump me all at once? What if while you're taking your sweet time coming down I'm already the main course of..."
"There are no 'what ifs.'"
"YES THERE ARE! There are a ton of 'what ifs'! The 'what ifs' are infinite, master!"
And that was it.
With a speed that only the survival instinct can give you, Marcus executed his already perfected knee slide (the only move he had mastered to perfection) and latched onto Urokodaki's left leg as if it were the last thing separating him from hell.
"Master, let me stay! I'm begging you! I'll serve your tea, heat your water, give you massages on your back, on your legs. Whatever you want! I'm useful! I also know how to tell jokes! Look, look: once upon a time there was a mountain, and on the mountain there was a temple, and in the temple there was an old man listening to a young man tell a story that went once upon a time there was a mountain, and on the mountain..."
"Shut up." A vein popped on Urokodaki's temple. "In this time you've broken three of my tea cups. And you burned the rice five times. How do you burn rice five times, Marcus? HOW? I ended up being the one serving you. Let go of my leg."
"No!"
"Let go."
"I'M NOT LETTING GO!"
"Marcus."
"YOU CAN DRAG ME IF YOU WANT, BUT I'M NOT LETTING GO!"
...
The sky was getting cheesy. The sunset was painting the clouds that ridiculously pretty orange that looks like it was pulled straight from a wallpaper.
Urokodaki was standing there, his mask facing the horizon, but not out of "spiritual contemplation" or anything like that.
His entire body was screaming "I am destroyed inside."
He was radiating exhaustion from every pore like it was perfume.
And three meters behind him, there was Marcus. Squatting. Hands squishing his own cheeks and a smile so wide it was almost scary.
He had failed again.
In eight months, the number of times he had tried to get rid of Marcus was ridiculous. He had lost count somewhere around the third month.
But he just couldn't!
It was humanly impossible. This brat's thick skin was tougher than any demon he had ever faced.
Not once had he managed it. Not once!
"I'm going to look for someone."
"I'm coming too!"
"You are not allowed to come."
"Then I'll follow you in secret!"
The veins on Urokodaki's forehead swelled up fast. And finally, unable to take it for one more second, he took a deep breath.
Marcus knew that breath all too well.
It was THE breath. Every time Urokodaki reached his limit and needed to get away from him, he did the exact same thing: took a deep breath and... whoosh! Gone.
'Water Breathing: Secret Technique of Fleeing from the Unbearable Disciple!'
And sure enough, the very next second, Urokodaki turned into a blue black silhouette that shot down the mountain along the trail.
He ran away... Again.
"MASTER, NOT THIS AGAIN!"
Jumping to his feet, Marcus took off after him. "YOU WILL NOT GET RID OF ME!! NEVER!!"
It was ironic.
Months... Eight goddamn months and he hadn't managed to master a single measly breathing technique. Nothing. But oh, the physical condition he had pulled out of thin air was a completely different story.
He could run a hundred meters in under nine seconds. Usain Bolt would have retired from the sport in tears if he saw him run.
His long jump cleared over nine meters. He had no freaking clue what the world record was, but he liked to think it was insane.
It made him feel better about himself.
And the thing is, none of this made any sense. He was a normal guy. A nobody who one day was chilling in his own world and the next he showed up here, in a real deal isekai.
The fact that he had developed this kind of physical ability was something even he couldn't believe.
Something had been changing his body since he arrived... slowly, like a background update.
AND THAT'S WHY he clung to the breathing techniques! Because if his body was doing impossible things on its own, then he had to be able to learn them. He couldn't now, but someday he was going to. He HAD to.
Although being honest... the main reason was something else. It was the refusal to accept it.
Let's see. He had transmigrated. Into his favorite anime. WITH A SYSTEM INCLUDED. That's hitting the jackpot.
Anyone's wet dream.
And what happened? Since he couldn't master a breathing technique, the system had given him the most basic thing, the language, so he at least wouldn't look like an ape pointing at things.
And as if that weren't enough, it turns out his blood in this world was none other than Marechi Blood.
The rarest and most delicious kind for demons.
The kind that basically puts a sign over your head that says "EAT ME."
Meaning, he couldn't even be a failure in peace. He had to be a failure who also smelled like a five star delicacy to every murderous creature out there.
Who the hell do you even complain to about something like this!? Was there a cosmic complaints box somewhere!?
But anyway, by this point he had already chewed on it. In this world where demons roamed free like cockroaches, he, an ordinary guy with delicious blood, only had two options to avoid ending up as someone's dinner.
One: become a Big Fish. Get so strong that nobody could sink their teeth into him.
Two: stick like a remora to a big fish.
And since learning one measly breathing technique was going to take forever, option one was off the table.
So all he had left was option two. Stick to the Biggest Fish he knew: the former Water Hashira, Sakonji Urokodaki.
Wherever you go, I go, old man!
NEVER be left alone! No way in hell! I'd rather die than serve dinner to a demon! Well no, not rather die. I'D RATHER BE GLUED TO UROKODAKI FOR THE REST OF HIS LIFE!
...
Further down the trail, Urokodaki turned his head to look at his "disciple" chasing after him, panting.
Sighing tiredly, he slowed his pace.
...
Meanwhile, several kilometers away, the forest was having a pretty eventful night.
Because while Marcus was busy chasing an old man, somewhere else real people were doing real things.
Tanjiro, the boy with the scar on his forehead and a heart too big for his own good, was throwing hands with a demon alongside his younger sister Nezuko. Who, by the way, was now also a demon.
So technically it was a two on one. A human and a demon against another demon.
Family teamwork.
And the temple demon had no idea what was going on.
He had been a demon for years and had seen everything. But never, ever, in his entire existence, had he seen a human and a demon working together.
A demon protecting a human? Fighting at his side? That made absolutely no sense.
And he was so furious, so outraged by the absurdity of the situation, that his head fell off. Literally. Nezuko had kicked it clean off.
The problem was that demons didn't die easily, and Tanjiro didn't have a Nichirin Sword either, so even though the guy was technically "decapitated," he kept fighting.
And not only did he keep going, but now he was fighting on two fronts. The head on one side, the body on the other, each one going after a different sibling.
On top of that, the head had sprouted two muscular arms on its sides like it was nothing, because of course, why not?
The siblings were wiped out, on the verge of collapse.
But in the end, Tanjiro managed to pin that horrifying head to a tree with his hatchet, and the headless body, between the two of them, shoving it, kicking it, however they could, they sent it rolling off a cliff.
Now Tanjiro was standing there, in front of that deformed head still pinned to the tree. Holding a dagger with trembling hands, panting, trying to gather the courage to do what he had to do.
Killing someone... no, killing a demon, sounds easier said than done when you have it right in front of you staring at you with hatred.
He needed determination. Just a little more. Just...
!
A huge hand landed on his shoulder.
His soul left his body for half a second. He spun around, ready for anything, and what he found was a fiery red tengu mask inches from his face.
"With just that, you won't be able to kill it."
And just like that, with that simple sentence, fate did its thing. The old man and the boy met, just as it was meant to be.
If everything had followed its normal course, Tanjiro would have passed Urokodaki's first test, everything would have flowed according to the original script, chapter by chapter, just as it was written.
But of course. "Normal" stopped being an option the day Marcus arrived in this world.
Because then the panting was heard.
Loud, heavy panting, from someone dragging his soul up the mountain, and from between the trees Marcus appeared, half dead, doubled over, face red, breathing like someone had ripped out one of his lungs.
And in that moment, everything went sideways.
Nezuko, who up until then had been sitting quietly in her corner, behaving herself, being the most obedient demon in the world... her nose twitched.
Her eyes changed and her pupils narrowed instantly, thin like a cat's.
A scent hit her brain like a slap and wiped out the little bit of sanity she had left.
Two threads of drool dripped from her mouth and the very next instant she was gone.
"What the he..."
Before Marcus could finish speaking. Something small, fast, and brutally strong slammed right into him, a full on tackle.
And the next thing he knew he was on the ground, flat on his back, the air knocked out of his lungs, and a small but ridiculously powerful body straddling his waist.
Behind the mask, Urokodaki's face fell apart.
"DAMN IT!"
He spun around and took off without thinking for even half a second.
But, was he going to make it in time...?
Because Nezuko had already leaned over Marcus and had already buried her face in his neck, making Urokodaki's heart clench like a fist.
This little demon who just a moment ago had been so docile... she hadn't been able to resist it. The Marechi Blood had blown every fuse she had.
There was no choice!
His hand went straight for the short Nichirin blade he always kept strapped to his lower back.
His fingers gripped the handle.
One quick cut. That was the only thing he had to do.
And then Marcus's face peeked over the demon's shoulder.
!
In that moment, Urokodaki slammed to a halt, planting himself on the spot as if roots had sprouted from his feet.
Because that face...
What the HELL kind of expression was that?
Pain? No. Fear? Not that either. The agony of being devoured alive? NOT EVEN CLOSE.
It was pleasure!
YOU LITTLE SHIT, A MAN EATING MONSTER IS BITING YOU! HOW IS IT POSSIBLE THAT YOU LOOK LIKE YOU'RE ENJOYING IT!?
Wait... what?...
WHERE WERE HIS HANDS?
The demon girl was squeezing him tight, and this idiot wasn't just not struggling, wasn't just not trying to escape, but his hands were... they were...
WAS HE GRABBING THE DEMON'S ASS!?
Urokodaki felt something break inside him.
Luckily the demon girl still had the bamboo tube in her mouth, and no matter how hard she bit down, she couldn't open it wide enough to sink her teeth in. So more than biting, what she was actually doing was... rubbing herself against Marcus's neck.
That explained it...
That explained everything. That's why Marcus had that face. That expression... subtle.
But of course, none of that was what made Urokodaki stop dead in his tracks.
Sure, the brat was a degenerate and was groping a demon's ass, but that wasn't why he had stopped. Even though the little one couldn't bite him, she was still a demon.
And yet, his feet wouldn't move.
Because there was something that his eyes as a former Hashira caught instantly and that froze him in a completely different way.
... Marcus's face was red.
It wasn't blood, since there was no wound. It was a red that came from within. A deep flush rising from his chest to his ears as if his insides were being boiled.
He hadn't been a Water Pillar for nothing, and what he was sensing in that moment...
He "heard" it.
Ba dump! Ba dump! Ba dump!
Marcus's heart was beating as fast as a drum. Each beat pumped the blood with a force that could be heard, and with that, his body temperature was rising.
He was burning like a furnace.
Even so, his breathing was more noticeable.
Because that pathetic panting Marcus always had, that disastrous rhythm he hadn't managed to fix once in months... had changed.
Without knowing when it happened, it had transformed into something completely different.
Deep. Long. Steady.
Every inhale had rhythm, every exhale had power. Marcus's chest was visibly expanding with each breath, filling in a way he had never managed before.
And then he saw it.
Something faint, almost imperceptible. But it was there.
Between Marcus's mouth and nose, with every exhale, a thread of air floated in a color of... pale pink?
... TOTAL CONCENTRATION BREATHING??
In that moment, he loosened his grip on his sword.
Because in that moment, the memories of the last few months hit him all at once. Every morning of Marcus trying to breathe and failing. Every afternoon coughing like his lungs were about to come out. Every night he caught him practicing in secret, repeating the breathing over and over and over again with that stubborn face.
The hardheaded idiot even mumbled in his sleep...
This stupid, useless, cup breaking, rice burning, thick skinned brat, latched onto his leg like a tick for months of unbearable torture... wanted to learn.
He truly wanted to.
And now, through the most ridiculous, absurd, and inexplicable means he had seen in his entire life... the opportunity was right before his eyes.
He couldn't interrupt him.
He SHOULDN'T interrupt him.
"NEZUKO! LET HIM GO!"
It took Tanjiro a few seconds to process what he was seeing, but the moment his brain connected the dots he took off running toward them.
He didn't get very far.
An arm caught him by the waist, a hand covered his mouth, and before he could understand what was happening, Urokodaki was already holding him firmly.
"Mmf! MMF MMF!" Tanjiro was kicking with his eyes bulging out. Was the old man in the mask kidnapping him? While his sister was attacking someone?
WHAT WAS HAPPENING!?
"Don't make a sound." Urokodaki whispered solemnly, his eyes fixed on the tangled figures on the ground. "Watch."
In the darkness, barely lit by the moon, Marcus was lying on the grass with Nezuko sprawled face down on top of him. His eyes were closed with an expression that there was no point in describing again.
But each breath was deeper than the last, more stable... more rhythmic.
And with every exhale, that thread of pink air that was barely noticeable before was now something you couldn't ignore. It flowed from his mouth and nose, spreading like a mist that wrapped around Nezuko and himself.
"Th That's..." Tanjiro forgot to struggle.
"..."
Urokodaki didn't speak.
That pink air... it definitely didn't belong to any of the five fundamental breathing styles. It didn't even resemble any known derived breathing!
It somewhat resembled the technique of the current Pillar of Love. It had that... tone. But it wasn't the same.
It was something else... Something he had never seen.
'Did he just invent his own breathing technique...?'
Marcus's breathing was stabilizing more with every passing second.
And Nezuko...
She was inhaling those pink essences with every breath, and little by little, the tension in her body was melting away. And at some point, she stopped rubbing against him with urgency and started to... nuzzle her cheek against Marcus's chin.
"..."
Urokodaki stood there watching the scene for a good while.
And suddenly, something he never thought possible crossed his mind.
This troublemaking brat... might be a genius.
Meanwhile, on the ground, with an adorable demon using him as a pillow, Marcus's mind was somewhere else entirely.
[It has been detected that the host has successfully mastered a breathing technique!]
No fucking way...
[Conditions met!]
NO FUCKING WAY.
[System self adapting... Self adaptation completed!]
His heart started pounding so hard it nearly cracked his ribs.
[System activating... Activation completed!]
He wasn't breathing. Well yeah he was breathing, he was doing the best breathing of his entire life, but mentally he wasn't breathing.
[Welcome to the Auxiliary System of the Breath of Desire!]
His eyes snapped open.
There it WAS!
Months eating shit, coughing like a dying man, clinging to an old man's leg, begging not to be kicked out...
And all he needed was for a cute demon girl to throw herself on top of him.
Ladies and gentlemen... we're back in business!
________
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