Johan was quite a strange person.
First of all, he was a coward.
"Black robes and Black Keys… Hah! Could he be the legendary Executor…?! I am sorry. I am sorry. I am so very sorry!!!"
"No, it's alright. It's only natural to be startled if someone suddenly grabs your shoulder."
"Hiii! I'm going to be murdered! Save me…!"
"No…"
Also, for someone from the Church, he was unbelievably lighthearted and cheerful.
Considering our first meeting was a complete mess, we became friends surprisingly quickly.
The fact that we were the same age probably played a large part in that.
"Huh, 15 years old? You're the same age as me? Then, we can speak informally, right?"
"…Let's do that."
"What's this? You should too. If you keep using formal speech, I'll be the only one who looks weird."
"Should I?"
Also, he had a beautiful smile.
Johan was on his way to Rome to study theology.
I was also returning to Rome to see my master, so it wasn't strange that we ended up traveling together.
He was quite the talker.
"So, get this, right? I was reading a passage in the synagogue, and this weird old guy started nitpicking me? I gave him a piece of my mind right away!"
"Impressive."
"Right? But he just had to be a wealthy sponsor, so I was the only one who got scolded. I'm still bitter about it. That damn old man!"
"That's enough to get on anyone's nerves."
How should I put it… the road with him was never boring.
I had lived a busy life, a life that knew no boredom, but just by having him next to me, I could feel that 'I had been living a dull life.'
His life was bright and warm, unlike mine, which was stained with blood and battle.
"You know, I was popular with the orphans, too! I'm good at healing, smart, and pre… handsome!"
"Certainly. You are handsome."
Despite his overflowing pride in his appearance, he was weak to compliments.
"Th-thanks."
"...Uh."
Seeing Johan's face turn red made my chest feel tight.
Should I say I felt inexplicably shy? I don't know why.
Whenever an awkward silence fell between us, Johan would call his kite.
Petting the bird naturally improved the atmosphere.
"Koo-hoo-rook!"
"Full of energy today, aren't we."
"Looks like you had a good meal. We barely managed to fill our stomachs… You little rascal. You little rascal~!"
The kite Johan was raising was named 'Kite,' but it was actually an owl.
When I asked why he named it Kite, he said that when he was young, he thought owls were kites.
"It ran away."
"You insolent creature! Come back!"
After a few more instances of Johan's 'petting,' which was more like torment, the kite flew high into the sky and escaped.
"…Should I go catch it?"
"N-no. I was just saying."
"Why the formal speech?"
"Ahaha…"
Johan sometimes found me intimidating.
After seeing me snap a wild boar's neck with my bare hands, he became a bit more polite.
There was no difference in our usual interactions, but the way he would sometimes put up a wall was a little disappointing.
To feel disappointed… that must be my true desire to get closer to him.
Despite being a boy, Johan hated showing his skin. Not only that, he disliked physical contact in general.
That was another one of the disappointing things.
"That's Rome over there."
We walked together for three days.
And finally, we arrived in Rome.
"Wow! It's huge! It's so much bigger and more magnificent than Athens!"
To me, it was a familiar sight, so I wasn't particularly moved, but Johan's eyes sparkled with joy.
"The Vatican has statues of the saints, right? I want to see them!"
"Uh… I don't know. They're a bit crude, not very pretty."
"Aww, come on! Let's go see them!"
A hand pulling at me with a bright smile.
For a moment, I calculated how many times I could slice that hand in one second.
It was a mechanical habit.
An instinct to perceive the person before me as an enemy.
I had never once thought of myself as shameful for it.
No matter how my old master tried to guide me by reading passages from the scripture, I had never listened.
"We're going, right~?"
But seeing Johan, holding out his hand and staring at me intently, for the first time, I felt ashamed of myself.
I had no idea where he was trying to lead me, not even knowing the way.
If he gets pickpocketed like this, he'll probably come crying to me for help.
I guess I have to help him after all….
"…?"
*Thump.* My heart pounded.
I felt a piercing pain in my mind. Instinct. The instinct that had never once betrayed me was screaming.
'You'll regret it if you take it.'
It was as if it was asking me if I was going to make the wrong choice again.
I have never once in my fifteen years of life not followed my instincts, so why was it giving me this warning now?
My hesitation, born of suspicion, was only momentary.
"My arm is getting tired!"
He suddenly grabbed my hand.
Soft.
A warm hand. Unlike mine, it was smooth, without any calluses.
I see. So this is why he hated physical contact.
I understood.
Because it was a hand too much like a woman's to belong to a boy.
"...Alright. Let's go see them."
"Yay!"
In the end, I couldn't pull my hand away.
Because I felt I would regret it if I took it, and I would regret it if I didn't.
"You don't know the way. I'll lead, so you just follow behind me."
"Okay!"