I just couldn't stand the feeling of staring into the director's sharp eyes with such intensity.All of it made me strangely uncomfortable.
I had never seen myself in that way before and, in a sense, Sirius, William, and I… we all had a "noble" reason behind what we did. Every coin we tried to get our hands on was meant for the orphanage, for its upkeep, its survival.
That's what we told ourselves when we decided to rob that mansion.
That's what justified our actions.
"We can explain," Lara insisted.
To everyone's surprise, and even though the question had been directed to Sirius first, that girl with deep wine-colored hair and winter-blue eyes was the first to speak.It was impressive how she tried to protect us, but considering that all of us were involved, I realized I had completely misread her.
At her side, the look of resignation was clear in each of her friends' faces.The boy, who didn't look much older than me, simply folded his arms in defeat, while the girl next to him sighed, already aware of what was coming.
"So tell me, my dear Lara… what made you go out in the middle of the night?"
"We were looking for Amélia," she replied quickly, sticking to the lie we had agreed on.Feigning a slightly worried tone, she masked her face with practiced concern."And then, when we least expected it, we…"
"Ended up finding her…" the other girl continued, her voice lower than Lara's. "We didn't know Amélia had a family in Azgad. We thought she was one of us, so…"
"We acted on impulse… as always, in this merciful little group," said the boy mockingly.
"Hey! You agreed with the plan!" Lara argued — and then came two sharp claps.
Clap clap.
"I've heard enough," the director interrupted."But because of this irresponsible behavior…" she sighed, scanning each of our faces, including mine,
"I must say I'm disappointed. Ana—" her gaze fixed on the girl sitting lazily on the couch, the shortest of them — "you're the greatest disappointment of your group today. I expected more from you, considering your intellect for your age. But clearly, you overestimate yourself. You look at me with indifference and pride… Do you think you're superior to me? What did I tell you yesterday? Did it enter to one ear and out the other?"
The girl immediately straightened up, sitting like a student before her teacher.But in her eyes, I could see a flicker of self-disappointment.
She clearly regretted her actions, and then the director spoke again.
"I told you to be the reins that hold your group back… not to accept everything blindly and turn into a runaway train! I asked you to watch over them. Do you understand why now?"
At least she doesn't know everything…
"Yes, ma'am. Director Highever."
At that moment, her gaze turned to Lara, who quickly crossed her arms.
"I know what you're going to say about me, okay? You don't need to."
"But you should learn to listen," the director scolded. "You're their leader, they admire you for your courage and wit. You shouldn't be getting into trouble like this! What if something had happened to you all, huh? You can't keep throwing yourself into danger with your friends! Do you have any idea how dangerous the streets have become? Dark creatures lurk in this city don't you understand?"
"That's just a bedtime story for kids!" the boy argued, stepping forward."Creatures of the night don't exist — not outside the history books."
The director just stared at him with fury.The silence in her analytical eyes froze his argument completely.
"You, Letho, as someone who reads so many books — should know that something must have existed for those stories to be told in the first place, right? What's one of the most important lines in The Fall of Talanor?"
Letho hesitated, then murmured,"'Of those who have fallen or perished, truth is always drawn from what once existed or was created before us.'"
"Exactly," the director said, a faint smile in her tone."If you read that much, you should learn to apply your knowledge to reality. There's wisdom in books, never forget that. Books are the key to most things in life."
The room fell silent again.Lara's group looked utterly defeated after that barrage of respectful scolding.Then, the director's eyes turned toward us.The way she looked at us made every hair on my body stand up.William, Sirius, and I could only swallow hard.
"I won't even start with you three…" she sighed deeply this time, focusing on me."What you did is the most deplorable, sordid, shameful thing I've ever had to deal with in this orphanage."
"But, Miss Highever—" Sirius began to protest, "we swear we meant well! We just wanted to get money to help pay for the orphanage and—"
"Silence, Sirius!" she snapped. "First, you left the orphanage without my permission, and second — and far worse — I heard you were meeting with dangerous men in the city! Putting all your friends at risk to steal for them? Seriously?! When did I ever tell you children to take care of things like that?"
"But we agreed, Miss Highever — we're all guilty!" William argued. "We looked through your desk and found the list of pending expenses! You can't blame Sirius alone, we all—"
"Don't even start, William," the director cut in, her tone even sharper."Your loyalty is admirable, but that's not the point here."
I stayed quiet, waiting for my turn — and then her voice reached me.
"Mordred…"
"I…" I hesitated.
She sighed once more, her tone softening slightly."What did I tell you? You have a special condition. You can't leave the orphanage without my permission — don't you understand? Magic doesn't work easily with you. And to know that you had a hand in this plan…" — she looked at my friends with genuine concern — "it really disturbed me. Your friends recovered easily because they already have access to basic mana. But you're…"
"Fragile?" I tried to finish, surprising her a bit."Look, just because I have amethyst eyes and can't use mana doesn't mean I'm fragile, okay?"
"Eye color doesn't matter," she replied calmly. "You suffer from a rare condition — your mana channels are damaged, broken. It's like poison in your body. It functions lethargically, dangerously even. If you ever faced an adult in a fight… just their mana-strengthened muscles could crush you instantly. Not to mention—"
She stopped when she saw my face fall.Silence hung in the room again until she cleared her throat.
"Anyway… it's time to assign your punishments. Girls!" she said, looking at Lara and Ana."You two will hang all the orphanage's laundry."
"All the children's?!" Lara cried in despair.
"Yes! No excuses. Now…" she turned to the boys, "you'll handle the dishes for the entire day tomorrow — except you, Sirius…"
William grinned, thinking he was safe — until she continued,"You'll help both groups, starting with the girls'. Understood?"
"Seriously?!"
"No complaints, Sirius," she cut him off. "This is the last time we'll discuss it."
He groaned, standing next to William while waiting for her final sentence.
"You too, Mordred — you'll have extra work like your friend. It starts now. You'll sort and pack all the donated books in the library with me tonight, and tomorrow, you'll help with both the dishes and the laundry. Understood?"
"Yes, ma'am," I said, defeated.
"Good. Now you may all return to your dorms. Leave anything you found here."
We all exhaled in relief.William and Sirius came over and patted me on the shoulders.
"It was my fault, man, really," Sirius muttered."Sorry, Mordred," William added, looking genuinely downcast.
Seeing them, I couldn't help but smile a little."Don't worry. Just get some rest — tomorrow's going to be a long day."
Sirius nodded. "See you later."
The three of us waved.The other group, though, said nothing — all of them seemed drained, morally and emotionally exhausted.After a storm of ethical and disciplinary scolding, who could still stand tall?
Then, that silver-haired girl stopped in front of me for a few seconds.Her eyes met mine — for what felt like hours, though it was only seconds.
"They're the same, aren't they…"
"Excuse me?" I asked, realizing she'd spoken her thoughts aloud.
She swallowed hard and shook her head."It's nothing… you just reminded me of someone."
And with that, she walked away — leaving me staring blankly after her.Who could I possibly remind her of?
"Mordred! Come with me!"The director called, opening the door leading toward the library.
"Coming, Director!"
We walked down the dim corridor together.Honestly, the orphanage at night looked eerie.The creaking wood, the old portraits of saints and the Gods of the Golden Circle — everything felt unsettling…But to me, it was just another Tuesday.
We reached the large door that, at night, gleamed like starlight.The director took a key hanging from a cord around her neck, inserted it into the lock — and the stars carved into the wood shifted into a constellation.
"Come in," she said.
I stepped inside beside her.The library was a total mess.The kids had left it almost unrecognizable.Books were piled everywhere, new donations waiting to be shelved.
"Seriously? I have to clean all this… alone?" I asked, already feeling crushed by the sight.
"Actually… no."
My eyebrows lifted as she stepped further in, rummaging through a desk until she found a clipboard filled with papers.She flipped through pages showing photos of various children — some I recognized, others not — until she reached the ones of Sirius and William.They looked awful in those pictures, and I couldn't help but chuckle softly — though I quickly disguised it before she noticed.
"Well… now that it's just the two of us, we can talk about some more serious matters."The director pulled a pen from the pocket of her dark dress."Ah… here you are, Mordred. Parents unknown. No notable elemental affinity. Unique condition: severely obstructed mana channels — rare, incurable."
She closed the file, leaving me uneasy.
"You know, Mordred, everything in this world has a touch of magic, right?"
"How could I not know?" I answered sarcastically, earning a disappointed look.
"Be that as it may," she continued, "what I told you about your condition remains true. It poses serious risks. Even if you learn to manipulate magic, there's always a chance it'll implode inside you — because you lack proper channels for mana to flow through. Do you understand what I mean?"
"I know…" I muttered, defeated — then looked at her more intently."But still, you can't keep me confined like this. Even if it's for my protection, it's not fair. Everyone else can train — why can't I?"
"That's the point — you're not like the others. Fooling yourself with lies others tell you to soothe your pain doesn't make the danger go away.You can help in other ways — manual tasks, like helping Hans with the stables or the Weaver's shop. But magic…" — she paused — "magic will one day poison you completely. Do you understand? Do you understand my concern?"
Her words hung heavy between us.I stayed silent.It was obvious: I was marked to die.She had simply said aloud what I already knew.
"Anyway," she said, regaining composure, "let's do something before we continue talking."
I raised an eyebrow. "You're bipolar, you know that? And for the record, the conversation already started — at least from where I'm standing."
"Just come here, boy. Sit in front of me."
I sat down without protest.I already knew what was coming — her usual test after every incident. A quiz.
"Let's start easy and go harder, alright? Tell me, Mordred — how many intelligent races exist on this continent?"
"Three, Miss Highever. Humans, the Elenidaris, and the Starfolk."
"Good. But they're divided among nations, correct? Do you remember their names?"
"Of course. Humans belong to the kingdoms of Aurora, Berdonia, and Nox Imperium.The Elenidaris, unlike humans, only have two nations now — though they were once united under one banner. Their realms are Idacidel and Yurala.And lastly, the Starfolk belong to the Stellae Empire — one of the largest nations alongside Aurora and Nox."
She clicked her tongue. "You forgot one."
"Ah!" I exclaimed, remembering. "The Merchant Nation of Arkt — capital of one of the oldest cities in the world, Ark. Home to the greatest cultural diversity in all of Ryar."
"Well done," she said with a faint smile. "If only you used that head of yours for something other than trouble… you'd go far. But the gods don't give wings to snakes."
"That's a terrible thing to say to a child," I muttered nervously.
She ignored me, still smiling. "We still have more questions. Those were easy."
She flipped to another page."Tell me — what are the forms of government, and which is the most common?"
"Well, there's the Imperium, the Berdonian Republic, the Merchant Republic, the Constitutional Monarchy, and the Monarchy.Most nations are monarchies — like Idacidel, Yurala, and even the Stellae Empire."I stopped, trying to recall the rest, then sighed. "I can't remember them all… except Aurora — that one's a constitutional monarchy."
She sighed, not disappointed but slightly hopeful."Alright. Berdonia, for instance, is ruled by four noble families elected by the people every four years.Each has its own specialty: the Khalids oversee labor and trade; the Cains, militarism; the Cohens, the aristocracy and wealth; and finally…"
"The Kalarmans," I interrupted, surprising her.
"And their specialty?"
"Magic," I answered quickly. "One of the greatest philosophers of magic came from their house."
A satisfied smile curved her lips."If only you used that clever mind for something more productive, don't you think?"
"Well… when you hang around Sirius, that tends to happen," I said, smiling weakly.
She chuckled softly. "If he encouraged you to study more, that's a good thing."
She stood, gathering some papers.Her expression seemed distant — emptier than before, despite the faint smile.Fearing her silence, I spoke up.
"Director… why did you give me a different punishment from the others?"
She said nothing at first, making me nervous.Then she picked up a small carved symbol that glowed faintly in her hand.
"You're different from the others, Mordred. You may not accept it, but you're far too smart for your own good. That's why I want you to remember things that might help you grow — academically and otherwise.And to keep an eye on you, I need to confirm a few things.But enough talk. Let's start. Take the books on the right; I'll handle the left."
We spent hours organizing shelves, neither of us speaking.The silence grew heavier with time, and something felt… off.The atmosphere thickened — I couldn't explain why.Then she spoke, looking toward the distant door — the one no child was ever allowed to open.
"Well… I think you can finish from here. Go back to your room, my dear," she said softly, turning to me with a distant look. "Leave the rest to me."
"Are you sure?" I asked, putting away the last few books.
She nodded, placing her hands gently on my shoulders."Go to sleep. I'll handle the rest."
"What about the rest of the test? Aren't we finishing it?"
She smiled and handed me a wrapped book from her left hand."Relax. Your test will be long. Why don't you study first?"
The moment I saw it, I knew what it was — The Fall of Stars: The Golden Circle and the Betrayer Gods.The same book I'd found with the thieves.
"A test on magic and theology? You trying to kill me?" I joked, earning a soft laugh from her.
"I'm just exploring weaknesses, dear. After all, you must be prepared for anything. Remember — this is the true treasure," she said, pointing at the books in my hands.It reminded me of the first time she brought me to the library, convincing me there was a hidden treasure among the shelves.
"That's the beauty of being a scholar, Mordred," she continued. "Never forget that. Keep your mind sharp — read, study. Even with your condition, nothing surpasses the mind of a true student."
"Even someone like me… with amethyst eyes?" I asked earnestly.
"The color of your eyes doesn't matter, Mordred," she said warmly."It only makes you more unique — not strange. And those theories about eye color only suggest magical affinities, nothing more."
Her blue eyes gleamed faintly as she conjured fire in her hand.Flames danced across her skin without burning her, surrounding her in a powerful aura — then vanished.
"In your case," she said softly, "you could've had access to something else, if not for your condition."
"And that is…?" I asked.
"To dream," she said with a feline grin. "Ho ho ho."
"Seriously? That's it? You're not going to tell me more?" I protested.
She pointed to the books in my hands, her grin growing slyer."You have books, don't you? Why not study through them?"
My exasperation made her laugh again.Then, returning to her usual tone, she added gently,
"I understand your struggle, Mordred. I'm just not sure I'm the best person to help you with it."She sighed. "No matter how different your mana is, you're still a child — with plenty of time.But let me tell you something — a lesson for life:if you ever find yourself without resources, use what you do have, when it matters most."
I pondered her cryptic advice."Thank you, Director Highever," I said, smiling faintly before heading toward the door.
"Oh — and Mordred," she called from behind her desk.I stopped. "Yes?"
"
Good night, little one. And please, avoid any more of these crazy stunts, alright?"
Defeated but smiling, I scratched my head and muttered,"Alright." Then, gathering my courage, I added, "Good night to you too, ma'am."
As soon as I stepped out through the front door of the library — still a bit uneasy — I ended up closing it with my back and sinking down to the floor right after. I held the two books tightly in my hands, unsure of what to do with them now, my head adrift in doubts and distractions.I looked up to the sky for comfort… the stars, whose job was to light the night, seemed to be growing dimmer.
"I didn't want to leave," I muttered under my breath, kicking my feet against the ground almost the same time as grab my hair to force me not to cry.
I wanted to stay in her office — in her library — and help her with that endless pile of papers that never seemed to shrink. But I knew she'd never let me; like a broken record, she always said it was her job, not mine.
Dragging my feet out of the small office, I walked down the corridor toward my room.
I often imagined what it would be like to be Director Highever's son. Her voice — stern yet caring — would scold me every time I was confused or lost. I'd do anything I could to help her at home: wash the dishes, take out the trash, mow the lawn, as did for the house of others.
But of course… that was only imagination — a wish, there was no way she would accept that. Sirius even said it was weird that I wanted to do so much for our "mother," claiming that it was usually a daughter's job to help her mother. But I disagreed. If I had someone like Director Highever as my mother, I'd make sure she was cared for. I'd help her dye the white strands in her brown hair, and once I was old enough, I'd earn plenty of money to buy her fine clothes, maybe even a grand carriage and a house of her own.
Maybe that's the difference between someone like Sirius — who knew his parents before they die — and someone like me, who has no memory at all of what mine were like. He hated his parents, and even hearing his own family name was enough to make him shut down, like a blown fuse.
As for someone like me — someone without a surname — there was a strange kind of comfort in imagining myself as Mordred Highever, the son of Maria Highever.I can dream about things like that, can't I?