I blinked. Opened my mouth. Closed it. "That's... definitely a way to start a conversation."
"It's the most important question! A man's taste in women reveals his true character!"
The earnest passion in his voice made me laugh. "Alright, fair enough. I like a woman who could kick my ass and look good doing it. Shape over size, but..." I gestured vaguely. "Thighs and ass are where it's at."
His eyes lit up. "MY BESTO FRIENDO!" Several nearby students jumped at his volume. "I'm Todo Aoi, and you clearly understand the peak of feminine beauty!"
"Nakamura Yoichi," I said. "But listen, when it comes to thighs versus ass-"
"Thighs are the foundation of true beauty," Todo declared. "The pillars that support-"
"Nah, you're missing the bigger picture. A perfect ass is like a work of art-"
"BUT THE THIGHS-"
"YEAAAAAH!" A new voice boomed through the auditorium, cutting off our deeply philosophical debate. On stage, a man with ridiculous vertical blonde hair grabbed the mic. "WELCOME TO TODAY'S LIVE PERFORMANCE! EVERYBODY SAY HEEEEY!"
Silence.
"TOUGH CROWD! NO WORRIES, WE'LL GET THAT ENERGY UP! I'M YOUR HOST, PRESENT MIC!"
Todo leaned over. "We'll continue this discussion later, Besto Friendo. I have PowerPoints."
"Of course you do."
As Present Mic launched into the details of the exam, I leaned forward, all thoughts of thighs vs. butts forgotten. "Your goal, dear listeners," Present Mic continued, "is to use your Quirks to immobilize these faux villains and earn points! But be warned - any unheroic actions will result in disqualification!"
I smirked. Good thing I had months of practice toeing that particular line.
"Excuse me, sir!" A hand shot up a few rows in front of us. Ah, the glasses guy. "You mentioned three types of villains, but the handout clearly shows four! Such an error is unbecoming of U.A., Japan's top hero academy!"
Glasses turned around pointing around my area. "Additionally you with the unkempt green hair you've been muttering this entire time. Stop that. If you can't bother to take this seriously then leave. You're distracting the rest of us."
I turned around, following glasses guy's accusatory finger. Two faces caught my attention - a nervous-looking guy with messy green hair and a girl with ash blonde spikes pulled into a messy ponytail. Something about them nagged at my memory.
The girl's red eyes locked onto mine. They widened in recognition, then narrowed dangerously. I knew that face. Where did I know that face from?
"Explosion... girl?"
"YOU!" She half-rose from her seat, palms already smoking. "Where the fuck have you been, you silver-eyed piece of-"
"OKAY LISTENERS!" Present Mic's voice drowned out whatever creative insult she had planned. "LET'S FOCUS ON THE EXAM RULES!"
She dropped back into her seat, but kept glaring at me. The green-haired guy next to her was frantically scribbling in a notebook, occasionally stealing glances in my direction.
"Besto Friendo?" Todo whispered. "You know angry explosion lady?"
"I... maybe?" I rubbed my temple. "It's like trying to remember a dream."
"To answer our examinee's question - yes, there are four types of villains. The fourth is worth zero points! It's more of an obstacle to be avoided. Think of it as a thwomp in Super Mario Brothers!"
The girl - definitely something with a K - kept shooting me death glares. The green-haired guy's muttering grew more intense. I caught fragments about "spatial manipulation" and "lotus patterns."
"Dude," I whispered to Todo. "This is going to bug me all day. I swear I've met them before."
"Perhaps they were worthy opponents in a previous battle?" Todo suggested helpfully.
"I think I'd remember fighting explosion girl."
"That's all for the exam rundown. I'll leave you with our school motto - Go beyond! Plus Ultra!"
Everyone started getting up. I turned to Todo. "Which area are you in?"
"battle site A," he said. "You?"
I patted my empty pockets again. "No idea. Lost my card."
"THAT'S NOT VERY PLUS ULTRA OF YOU, BESTO FRIENDO!"
"Yeah, yeah. I'll figure it out."
As we filed out, I felt someone grab my collar and yank me sideways into an empty hallway. I found myself face-to-face with explosion girl, who had murder in her eyes.
"Listen here, pretty boy," she growled. "I don't know what kind of game you're playing, but-"
"Kacchan, wait!" The green-haired guy appeared behind her. "Maybe he really doesn't remember?"
Kacchan? No, that wasn't quite right. Ka... Katsu...
"Bullshit! Nobody just forgets-"
"ALL EXAMINEES TO YOUR TESTING GROUNDS!" Present Mic's voice echoed through the speakers. "TWENTY MINUTES UNTIL START!"
"This isn't over, lotus boy." She stormed off, her green-haired friend following behind her.
"Yo, Besto Friendo!" Todo's voice carried from the main hallway. "I found your card! You're in battle site A with me!"
I jogged over to him, but my mind stayed on those two faces. Why couldn't I remember?
"Thanks man," I said, taking the card. "Let's go break some robots."
But as we headed for the changing room, that nagging feeling wouldn't leave me alone. Explosion girl. Green hair. Lotus boy.
What was I forgetting?
==========
[Next time on "Yoichi's Hero Academia"]
"And that's how I'll pass the practical exam!" I grinned at the camera, lounging on the studio couch next to Todo. "With my best friend here-"
"BESTO FRIENDO!" Todo corrected, throwing an arm around my shoulders.
"Right, right. With my besto friendo, we'll-"
The studio door slammed open. Explosion girl stormed in, smoke curling from her palms. "You absolute fraud! You don't even remember my name!"
"What? No, of course I do! You're..." I squinted. "Ka...tsumi?"
"You just read the cue card behind me!" She jabbed a finger at my face. "I spent ten months wondering about the guy who saved my life, and you can't even-"
"Look, I've had a lot going on! My teacher threw me off a cliff! Multiple cliffs!" I held up my hands. "And names aren't my strong suit."
Katsumi's shoulders dropped slightly. "You really don't remember?"
"The fight? Crystal clear. Your face? Easily. Your name? That's..." I scratched my head. "Look, give me another ten months. I'll get it right eventually."
A small explosion popped in her palm. "Next time on Yoichi's Hero Academia..." She cracked her knuckles. "The idiot with the lotus eyes learns why you should remember a girl's name."
"Wait, what are you-"