"Sooooooo. How do we do magic? Anyone got any ideas?" I ask into the round. Except, of course, there was no round. No one but myself and the surrounding rocks to bounce ideas off of.
I hadn't bothered to leave the area I had designated as my shelter yet. There was no point in wandering around needlessly. I had to figure magic out first. No matter what. Otherwise, I will not be crossing that gorge.
The only things that I have done so far today that weren't sitting on this tarp and thinking were eating breakfast and using the toilet. However, with that out of the way, I was free to focus fully on my task.
The seemingly impossible task of figuring out magic all by myself. "Now would be a perfect time for the memories of this body to resurface and clue me in on how this shit works."
Of course, that would be too simple. And nothing can ever be simple for me. Almost nothing had gone the way I wanted since I came to this world. Not that back on earth was different.
So I was undeterred. I was going to sit here and figure this out until I either ran out of food and starved or managed to cast some spells.
But to cast magic in this world, one needed a magical focus. A staff, wand, grimoire, or some other magical item that they could channel mana through.
Luckily, I just so happened to have one. It's been at my side all along. Strapped to the belt that held my pants up was a wand. It was simple. Made of wood. Clearly nothing special.
It looks like a practice tool, if anything. Like a wooden sword for a knight. But it was the best I had. So, holding it awkwardly with my left hand, I try to concentrate on it.
First, I try to see if just concentrating on the wand will work. With zero results. "So the wand is not the important bit." It was logical, of course.
If all one needed to cast magic was a wand, there was no reason for the game to include things like magical potential and different ranks of it.
"I wonder what kind of potential this boy has?" I tilt my head this way and that way while pondering things. Not really focusing on the question of the potential of this boy. Since I couldn't figure that out anyway.
More focused on the real core of the issue. `If there is such a thing as potential, then mana must be a measurable thing. And from what I remember, it was measured on huge magical crystals. There was one floating around in every major city that one could check character potential and stats on.`
Speaking of stats. Mine had gotten better since I started ascending the mountain. Rightfully so. But also worse at the same time.
Name: Daniel Blackwell
Age: 15
Gender: Male
Body/ Strength: 7/ Endurance: 7/ Toughness: 7
Mind/ Acuity: 25/ Wisdom: 3/ Intelligence: 4
Soul/ Destiny: 0/ Fate: 3/ Radiance 9997
The increase in my physical stats was, of course, to be expected after everything I went through in the last two weeks.
I was still positively surprised that all of my bodily stats were at seven now. Toughness has caught up with strength and endurance. Probably thanks to me fighting off the infection and just in general toughing shit out.
In turn, my acuity has decreased by a good ten points. Obviously, because I lost my eye. This has a big impact on my ability to see and calculate distances. My depth perception is all kinds of messed up. Almost had me killed twice while I was ascending the mountain. And just in general, making my life more difficult.
But my acuity was still my second-best stat even with the debuff. Not that it helped in my current situation. I have no idea how to use magic.
The only stats directly related to magic in the game are wisdom and intelligence. But without any way of increasing them, I had no idea if it was because of them being low that I couldn't use magic.
Though I'm fairly certain that's not the problem. I should still be able to use magic regardless of my stats. At least the most basic spells should be available to me. Since they have absolutely no stat requirements in the game.
`This was no game, though. So I can't rely on that knowledge.` My thoughts loop back around to an argument I had with myself plenty of times since coming here.
But there were more important things to think about. So I chase those thoughts out of my mind and refocus.
Going back to thinking and pondering how to do magic.
"Ahh fuck." However. No matter how much I think I can't figure it out. So I just throw my hands up in the sky and give up.
Or rather. I go back to try something I've already tried before. I shift slightly to sit cross-legged on the tarp. Then I close my eyes and meditate.
Hoping and praying that looking within myself might be able to help. Though at first it has about as much of an effect as me focusing on the wand.
Eventually, however, I feel something. But the second I do, my eyes shoot open in surprise, and I instantly lose that feeling. That spark deep inside myself is gone again.
Now that I knew something was there, though, I was determined. So I meditate again. Hours are ticking by as I try to finally figure out what this weird sensation within me is.
So much time passes as I chase ghosts in my own body that night falls without me even noticing. The thing that finally clues me in that the day has already ended is my stomach growling.
So I eat some dinner. Fumbling around in the dark for a while until I find what I want to eat. Almost instinctively, I dig into my dwindling reserve of muffins and other sugary foods.
Like my body and brain knew this was what I needed. And as confusing as that feeling was, I don't fight it. I just eat what my body tells me to and go to bed.
Lying in the shadow of the wall next to my sleeping spot again. But this time, sleep doesn't come easily. For what feels like hours, I just lie awake staring up into the night sky. Asking myself what magic even is.
Eventually, I do fall asleep. However. Not before something happens. The twin moons are once again doing their spectacular nightly dance above me.
One is slightly larger than the other. The smaller of the two is quite similar to the moon of Earth, reflecting silvery white, gentle light. While the older brother was more yellowish. His light is stronger. More piercing. Almost like a second sun.
My eyes are constantly drawn to him. Though I personally find his smaller sister more appealing. She reminded me of home. Yet my eyes always follow him.
And I feel that spark again as I look up at him. This time, however, it stays. As if drawn forth by his presence. Like the tides listening to the moon on Earth. Magic seems linked to the moons.
"Right. Of course. Those two are also part of the pantheon of this world. Part of the divine entities that bestowed magic onto this world." I muse while closing my eyes.
Looking within myself again. I breathe deeply, slowly, steadily. As I try to shut everything else out. So I can fully focus on the feeling bubbling up within me.
The sound of my blood rushing in my ears is the only thing distracting me. That is how quiet it is right now. But it's not my blood rushing through my ears.
No. It's magic. Or rather. Mana. The raw energy that gives life to magic. The raw energy inherent within all creatures of this world. And now I can feel it too.
My eyes flutter open. A wide grin spread on my lips. "Thanks." I lift my right hand up to my lips and blow the moon a kiss. "For helping me figure this out."
My last thoughts are ones of silent prayers towards the moon as I finally fall asleep.
Waking up with the sunrise the next morning. I'm feeling like I'm on top of the world.
Because now I can clearly feel the mana within me. It's no different from feeling your blood flow through you. It's hard to explain. And even harder to notice.
Since our bodies are made to ignore the constant flow of blood within our bodies. Humans only notice the blood flowing on rare occasions. Like when it's rushing through your ear. Drains from your face. Or flows out of you from wounds.
Mana was kind of similar. It was also tied to my pulse. Surging and ebbing with my heartbeat. Just as my blood does.
Yet at the same time, it was also different. Because with a single breath, I could draw it upwards. From my chest, where most of it resided. Into my throat. And then when I focused really hard, even further up. Into my brain.
It was kind of exhausting keeping it there. I had to hold my breath. And even with holding my breath, I could only keep the mana inside my head for a few seconds at a time. My record so far is only four seconds.
But I felt like this was it. This was what I needed to do to use magic. And it felt a little easier every time I did it. Fractionally. Like it was a muscle one could train.
So that's what I do. For the rest of this day, I just sit around. Breathing. Sometimes while sitting and sometimes while walking around. Which lets me figure out that my concentration apparently has very little to do with my ability to draw forth and hold the mana inside my head.
Now that I knew how to do it, I could even do some simple exercises while I let it circulate. Back and forth between my chest and my brain.
However, that is not true when I think about things while I hold the mana inside my head. I mean. It depends. But when I hold mana inside my head while thinking about complex things like mathematics, I get a headache.
The mana whirls around in my head like it's trying to do something before quickly sinking below. Both my head and chest hurt afterward for a few minutes every time it happens.
So I do my best not to think too hard while experimenting with mana. I eventually became able to hold the mana inside my head for five seconds by the time the day ends. Five and a half if I really concentrate and try.
All of this, however, won't help me cross the gorge. So tomorrow I'll attempt to actively use the mana to cast a spell.
But for tonight, I'm content with what I have achieved. Falling asleep quickly while illuminated by the twin moons once again. Bathed in their soft light, as if they are congratulating me.