Lyria sat cross-legged on the living room floor, staring intensely at a plate.
A normal plate.
With normal human food.
To her, this was more terrifying than dragons.
Riku placed the dishes gently: curry, noodles, fries, and something yellow that jiggled suspiciously.
> "So… today you try real human food."
"Why does the yellow one move on its own?"
"It's just pudding."
"It is alive," she whispered.
Puff poked it.
It jiggled harder.
Puff screamed.
So the lesson began.
---
Trial #1: Instant Noodles
Lyria picked up the chopsticks like they were ancient relics.
> "What are these tiny wooden spears?"
"Chopsticks."
"They look like weapons."
"They're for eating."
"So… weapons for food."
She stabbed the noodles.
Immediately, half the bowl flew into her face.
Puff laughed so hard he rolled across the table.
Riku sighed and gently positioned her fingers.
> "No stabbing. Just lift it like this."
Lyria tried again…
Success!
She raised a perfect bite of noodles—
Then forgot to open her mouth.
The noodles slapped her in the cheek and fell to the floor.
> "I am under attack," she declared.
---
Trial #2: French Fries
She examined a fry like it was treasure.
> "It smells… pleasant."
"It's just a potato stick."
She took a bite and froze.
Puff gasped.
Riku leaned closer.
Lyria slowly, dramatically, placed a hand over her heart.
> "…Riku."
"Yeah?"
"This is the greatest thing I've ever tasted in the human world."
"They're addictive," he said.
"Prepare twenty baskets," she said.
"No."
"Please?"
"No."
"Riku I am BEGGING."
Puff whispered in awe,
> "The Queen has found her weakness…"
---
Trial #3: Pudding (The Wiggly Enemy)
The pudding trembled.
Lyria trembled back.
> "Why does it behave like jelly flesh?"
"It's dessert."
"It mocks me."
She poked it with a spoon.
It wobbled aggressively.
> "Riku… it wants to fight."
"No it doesn't."
"It's taunting me."
"You're imagining—"
Lyria suddenly ate the entire pudding in one bite.
Riku blinked.
Puff blinked.
Lyria froze.
Then her eyes widened like stars.
> "IT IS AMAZING!" she yelled.
"It's literally just pudding—"
"Riku I REQUIRE MORE."
"That was the last one."
"Then we must embark on a quest."
"…To the grocery store?"
"YES! A QUEST TO ACQUIRE THE SACRED WOBBLY TREASURES!"
---
Trial #4: Curry (Traumatic Flashback)
Riku pushed the last dish toward her.
Lyria immediately scooted back.
> "No."
"It's just curry."
"Last time curry tried to murder me."
"You put a magic crystal in it."
"The spell was weak! The curry was too powerful!"
Puff whispered,
> "The Curry Orb of Doom…"
Riku groaned.
> "Just try one bite."
Lyria closed her eyes, took a deep breath, and lifted the spoon—
The microwave beeped in the background.
She screamed and dropped everything.
> "IT'S A WARNING SIGN!"
"The microwave is just cycling!"
"IT REMEMBERS THE CURRY ORB INCIDENT!"
Puff clung to her hair like a terrified child.
Riku pinched the bridge of his nose.
> "Okay. Fine. No curry today."
"Thank you," Lyria said, teary-eyed.
"I will not be defeated twice."
---
Later That Night
Lyria sat by the window, fries in one hand, pudding cup in the other.
Human food glowed in her eyes like new treasure.
> "Riku?" she asked softly.
"Yeah?"
"Human food is strange… but also wonderful."
Riku smiled.
> "There's more to try tomorrow."
"Then tomorrow," Lyria declared grandly, "I shall conquer ALL your cuisine!"
"Not all. Some are spicy."
"I fear nothing!"
"…You screamed at pudding."
"THE PUDDING STARTED IT!"
Puff nodded seriously.
> "The pudding indeed started it."
They all laughed.
Maybe the human world wasn't perfect.
Maybe she didn't understand microwaves or washing machines or receipts.
But food—
Food she understood.
Especially fries.
---