I was running, the sounds of my footsteps and heart beat echoing in my head as I ran as fast as I possibly could, feet striking the ground in the hopes of getting ahead. The sound of heavy footsteps behind me was ever prevalent in my ears but I tried to ignore it, to ignore the presence of the being behind me but that ultimately failed as the source of my fear ran past me in the form of an ashen gray haired uma, her tail swaying in the wind as she quickly passed me. I tried to catch up to her, my arms almost stretched out as if trying to grab her, but I wasn't strong enough as she quickly left me in the dust.
I gasped in the air, my heart bursting in my chest as my feet struck the ground trying its hardest to run faster, trying to push me forward. I quickly passed the finish line soon after her, gasping for air.
I looked at the ground, sweat dripping off my face, my hand on my knees as I gasped for air. The feeling in my chest felt as if I was being stabbed. Looking up towards the ashen gray haired girl, I saw as she glanced at me with no care before simply looking towards the stands which had people shouting the name of the girl.
I looked behind me as a few other Uma's were gasping for air and looked at the ashen gray haired girl with slight fear in their eyes.
Fujimasa March was looking at her with surprise as she gasped for air.
"Today's winner of the Gold Junior race was Oguri Cap!" The announcer shouted with awe.
—----
The thunder of the footsteps still echoed in my ears, the presence of Oguri cap still in my mind even as I walked far away from the race course. The sound of the cheers for her were still in my mind. The feeling of being stabbed was still present even after the event.
"Hey, did you hear that Oguri is transferring to Central?" the voice of someone entered my ears.
"Of course, that Oguri is the pride of Kasamatsu!" Another said excitedly.
I walked past the 2, trying to ignore the sound of the 2 speaking but I just couldn't bring myself to ignore the words that they had spoken.
'I lost...Again..' I thought to myself.
I wanted to win.
To show that I was capable of winning.
That I wasn't just some random racer of Kasamatsu.
To show to myself that all the hard work that I had done wasn't worthless.
Of course, that was all for naught when Oguri had passed me at the end of the race.
I walked, till I reached an old house. The roof had signs of decay and the old walls that looked like they could crumble at any moment had some graffiti on it. I knocked on the door before entering it, the door wasn't locked due to the lock being long since broken.
Entering, I flicked the light switch as the light bulb flickered on. Dropping my bag down in the hallway, I walked through the empty halls before reaching my room. I entered it to see the same sight of an empty room with the bare necessities, a futon that was old, a blanket with old tears and a small drawer that had small amounts of clothing.
I listlessly dropped onto the futon. Looking out the slightly cracked window, I thought back to the race with Oguri Cap.
Was there something I could have done that would make the outcome different…
"There was nothing I could have done…." I said softly.
I think it was the thought that, despite all the training, despite the blood that I had shed in the hopes of winning, despite everything that I could have done, I couldn't have changed the outcome of the race.
That was the fact that finally made me break.
"Did none of it matter."
"Was it all really worth it.."
"Why…"
"Why am I so worthless…"
–
The boy turned his body to look up to the ceiling, to the sky above. He questioned if it was all worth it, was all the things he had done to this point really worth something. He looked up, questioning whether all the work he had put into training was worthless.
He turned into the old pillow of his before letting out a scream.
"AAAHHHHHH!"
He screamed
and screamed
screamed till his voice disappeared
till the breath in his lung ran out
till he couldn't scream no longer
till the tears in his eyes would no longer fall
"Why…"
"Why do I always lose.."
His eyes slowly closed, his breath faint, his body falling asleep from the accumulated exhaustion in his body.
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Hello people from the internet, this was an idea that popped into my head while I was listening to music.
This is a more so of a random story that I had decided to just randomly write, so do note that this might be update might not, it probably will because I still have thoughts in my head.
If I write this story for a long bit(For my standards at least), I might take some inspiration from other works.
Hope you enjoyed and please do tell if there is something that could be fixed.