The day was normal on the Earthly Plane. Humans, Beasts, and Spirits alike struggled for their lives, whether they were weak or strong. Life continued in the Jianghu.
Yet, far, far above, in the deepest recesses of the atmosphere, a man conversed with Heaven.
The man wore a white robe, covered in colorful, hand-drawn designs. He clearly had put a lot of effort into designing it. The doodles were silly, but executed to perfection. In his left hand, he held a small paintbrush, in his right, a canvas. The man was handsome, but not as an immortal should be. His face possessed blemishes and scars that should have been purified as he ascended. His name was Shi Yixuan, the Artist Immortal.
"Come on, old fox," Yixuan said to the emptiness. "Just open the gate."
…
"Please?"
The sky pretended not to hear him, but his begging only grew more annoying.
"Absolutely not."
Shi Yixuan's happy demeanor shifted. "You know I am willing to fight you, right? You'll reform after I destroy you, but surely I can damage a few of those mortals down below. Ruin some of your chosen children. I wouldn't enjoy it, but I would do it."
Heaven quivered a small amount, which didn't go unnoticed by Yixuan. It took a second, but then It communicated with him once more.
"What could the Artist Immortal seek on the Earthly plane? Nothing there could possibly interest you."
Yixuan laughed. "I'm so bored. I HAVE to paint something new. Mortals are so much more interesting than cultivators. All the mortals in my realm are newborns. And they're lame."
Heaven questioned, "Is that really all?"
With a pleading look that was beneath him, Yixuan begged Heaven. "Pleeeeeeeease! I wanna paint something fun again!"
Heaven calculated rapidly. It couldn't really stop Yixuan if he forced his way in, but It also could make his life very difficult. It surmised that bending the rules a bit would be OK, as long as It got something out of it.
"If you absolutely must, it can be allowed. You must help out with a problem, though."
An expression of pure joy sprang across Yixuan's face. "YES! What's the problem? I'll take care of it right away!"
Heaven let out something like an embarrassed cough, if It could even be embarrassed.
"That's the thing. It's Our fault. Uh… How do We say this?"
Heaven was definitely embarrassed. Yixuan was 100 percent sure.
"We let a Tribulation Beast grow too strong. It's in the 6th realm. On the Earthly Plane."
Yixuan raised both eyebrows in complete shock. "That's crazy! Has it destroyed the world yet? There probably isn't much for me to save!"
"Oh, shut up. We managed to contain it for now."
Yixuan laughed, this time way harder. He had tears in his immortal eyes, which shouldn't have been possible. "How did you manage that?"
Heaven was beginning to regret offering a deal to Yixuan. "Do not forget Our power in the Heavenly Plane. We merely diverted some of it to seal the creature. The problem is distance. Our strength dilutes when projected across planes. The beast will starve eventually, but at great cost. Eliminate it, and you may paint as you please."
"Great! Where's the beastie located?"
Heaven transmitted an image to Yixuan of a temple on the Eastern Continent.
A mischievous smile played across Yixuan's face. "Before I go, can I ask what you'd have done if I didn't show up?"
Heaven crackled a bit of lightning. "We would have contacted another of your peers."
Yixuan scratched his chin thoughtfully. "Who?"
"Yu Shasheng."
Yixuan slapped his knee out of mirth, sending shockwaves through space. The world shook and creaked as Heaven struggled to keep Its hold over the Earthly Plane. Yixuan, however, continued cackling.
"Yu Shasheng? Yu Shasheng? Of all people! I guess he'd help, but he'd probably destroy the whole Earthly Plane by accident. Old fox, that's the worst idea you've ever had!"
Then, suddenly solemn, he lifted his brush.
"Ah. I feel inspired."
Yixuan entered a trance. For 10 incredible seconds, the Artist among Artists weaved his magic with a brush and paint. A singular tear rolled down his cheek.
"Thank you, Heaven. I suddenly got the urge to paint again. Do you like what I made?"
Yixuan turned the canvas to Heaven. The painting depicted an old man high in the sky, above a burning world slashed in half. He looked upwards, hands clasped in submission, at a white haired spearman. The spearman had a confused face, probably wondering how he got there. He seemed to be a bit of a fool, but he was very handsome. The artistry was perfect, beyond anything the Earthly Heaven had ever seen, but It hated the painting nonetheless.
Then, Yixuan said something that shocked Heaven.
"Can Shasheng come with me? I'd like to have some company on my journey. I'll make sure he doesn't get into any mischief."
"Fine." Heaven spat, "Only if you get him right now."
Yixuan excitedly waved his brush up and down, creating a rectangular, woodlike shape in the atmosphere. Then, with a flick of his brush, a knob appeared on the rectangle. He yanked it open.
The door revealed a shirtless, white haired man practicing in a white room. He wielded a basic single-bladed spear with a wooden hilt. The man had yet to swing it. He just stood, stoically, in the center of the room, holding the spear forward like a flag. Yixuan entered the door and approached the man.
"Brother Sheng? Hello?"
Yu Shasheng whirled around, slicing with his spear. The strike carried with it all the understanding and power of the Dragon Immortal. Yixuan was instantly bisected by the strike. His upper half fell to the ground, face first.
Yixuan's legless body levitated upwards, once again at the same height as Shasheng.
"Shasheng, what was that for? It's just your old pal Yixuan!"
Yixuan took his brush out and painted himself two new legs. Shasheng had yet to move after his initial slice, and his eyes remained closed.
Yixuan sighed. "I guess I have to break him out of a combat trance again. He's so helpless without me."
But what could Yixuan use? He couldn't go all out on poor little Sheng, could he? Yixuan held his brush up directly in the air, piercing the sky. He concentrated deeply, then brought it down in a curvy, snakelike shape. A beautiful, blue river sprang from his brush like a tiger. Surging and crashing, it bore down on Shasheng with impatience. Shasheng instantly pulled his spear back and swung it again.
Another heaven-defying crack echoed, and the river was cleaved in twain. But a river can't be slashed. It only continues to flow, even when diverted by a rock or tree. Two rivers now attacked Shasheng, who continued to furiously slash. The river doggedly persevered, eventually smashing into the white haired spearman, dousing him with cold water. Shasheng gasped as he woke up.
"I'm… cold?" he muttered, looking at his soaked robes. Then his brow furrowed. "Wait a—"
He swung his spear again. "Spear Art: (Kuáng Lóng Pò) Furious Dragon Drive!"
An enormous dragon burst forth from Shasheng's flowing strike. The dragon opened its maw and consumed Yixuan's river. It continued forth, eating every speck of water before petering off and disintegrating. Shasheng flicked his wrist, shaking the last droplets from his hair, and sighed.
"Oh. Yixuan. It's you."
"Hey," Yixuan said. "Maybe don't slash me in half next time?"
"Reflex."
"Reflex, my ass." Yixuan groaned. "You're hopeless. Anyway, I'm heading down to the Earthly Plane. I need inspiration. Want to come?"
Shasheng shrugged. "Sure. Maybe there's some interesting new Spear Arts down there."
Yixuan stopped Shasheng before he could leave. "Just so you know, we have to do an errand for Heaven before we have any fun."
"Oh. What is it?"
"It let a tribulation beast get to the Sixth Realm on the Earthly Plane."
Shasheng scoffed. "Heh. Stupid heaven."
"I know, right? How do you let that happen?"
"Seriously? Are you guys just gonna fucking bag on me?"
Shasheng rubbed his neck. "Hongxue's gonna kill me for this."
"She'll live," Yixuan muttered. "You're so whipped, bro."
"I'm not taking relationship advice from you."
The two exited the door, returning to the atmosphere above the Earthly plane.
"The Artist Immortal and Dragon Immortal. Are you going to have a little party down there with every 7th realm freak?"
Yu Shasheng floated a lazy sentence. "Nah, I'm his only friend. He's too annoying for everyone else."
Yixuan gasped in mock horror. "What! Untrue. Mo Tionban loves me!"
"Are you done yet? Can you leave, please?"
Yixuan bowed to the air and vanished, taking Shasheng with him. All that was left behind was a silly painting and echoing laughter.