I remembered sitting on an uncomfortable metal bench in a cold metal corridor. The metal walls of this cold corridor were filled with nails, screws, and welds. The corridor felt stifling, and the constant stream of people in white coats passing in front of my chair made me feel even more suffocated.
My knees were trembling. I was anxious… I wasn't supposed to be there, but I knew I'd worked enough for the organization to bend some rules. My face was covered in dirt. As I hit my dusty boots against the metal floor with my trembling knee, I watched the accumulated dirt on the metal surface get swept away by the wind from the passing white coats.
I had refused to clean up. I had refused any form of disinfection, any kind of health checks. I knew all these procedures were mere formalities. At least for this section of the science facility… Because its corridors were already filled with rays capable of detecting any microbe, any disease.
As men and women in white coats passed in front of me, looking at me with disgust, one man finally stopped. He was puffing on his electronic cigar. This man was none other than Dante Shade, our team leader.
"You haven't cleaned up, Edgard. You look a mess." He flicked the ash from his electronic cigar, but only holographic particles fell to the ground. "I'm overlooking your disobedience to the doctors' orders, and you've also abandoned your squad, defying orders. It's going to be difficult to explain this to the higher-ups."
"We were in a one-hour break before the new assignment. I thought I could see her during that time. To hell with the higher-ups… Getting their approval would take more than two hours. Now, Dante… I've lost a lot of time coming here during this one-hour break, and I only have 15 minutes left. I still haven't seen her."
"You might not."
"Dante, please, you have to understand me. It's been so long. Almost eight months… I don't want her to think I didn't want to see her for eight whole months."
"You're writing letters, aren't you? No… I can't make her see you, but perhaps you can see her. You're dirty, you look tired, and I think you have wounds. You can't handle all of that in 15 minutes."
"But…"
"No 'buts.' You can't see her right now due to procedures. I can only create an opportunity for you to see her. At least until your current assignment is over, you have to accept this situation. But if you want to see her face-to-face later, I can arrange something by then."
"Really?" I said, standing up; I started shaking the man's hand tightly. "Thank you so much, boss."
We walked along the metal corridors. White-coated people, robot assistants, and even cameras were watching us. Since Dante Shade was a Cybernetic, he didn't undergo any retinal scans; simply his approaching the doors was enough for them to open.
"You're coming from Mars, aren't you? How are things there?" Dante Shade asked.
"What do you mean, you don't know?"
"…" Dante simply fell into a cold silence.
"They don't tell you much either, then."
"No," he said with a complaining tone. "They don't tell us anything."
"Then maybe I can tell you some superficial things. The clean-up is still ongoing. This colony was in pretty bad shape this time. Too many people from the team felt compelled to resign."
"And how are you?" Dante Shade asked, extending his cigar to me. I politely declined.
"Psychologically or physically? Physically, my hands have a lot of cuts. My groin aches, and I've developed a habit of shaking my knee when I sit. Some even say this trembling habit is a neurological problem. Since I spent my usual one-hour break for examination coming here instead of getting examined, I can't say anything for sure."
"And psychologically, how are you?"
"I'm tired, Dante. Everyone on the team is tired too." Finally, we reached a door larger than the others. When this door opened, we found ourselves in a massive room. A large part of this room was filled with computer cases containing quantum databases, and small corridors, barely wide enough for a single person, were formed to allow us to pass through these cases. "I definitely understand the other recruits. They're rookies after all, right? But even our team's psychology isn't very good. Before Mars, we were on Titan. The situation there was so bad that Oliver and Rudy promised to marry each other there. You'll ask what the connection is, I know. They were so afraid of dying that they wanted to commit, Dante. They were so psychologically strained that they needed to remind themselves they were human."
"So when is Oliver and Rudy's wedding?" Dante asked mockingly. Dante's nonchalant attitude was getting on my nerves. We emerged from between the computer cases into an empty, wide space. In this space, there was a long bench. We both went and sat side by side on it. The iron rails beneath the bench began to carry the bench and us on it.
"You're not listening at all, are you?"
"I am listening!" Dante said angrily. "I understand, but there's nothing we can do. This is our responsibility. We have to do this until the S.W.R. finds a solution." The bench stopped when it reached a new wide space. It was an empty space, consisting only of a metal door. "We have no other solution." Then he pointed to the metal door across from the bench. "But we have hope."
Written on the metal door were the words "Subject 99." I got up from the bench and walked towards the door. There was a computer next to it. I leaned closer to the computer and started watching inside through the camera system.
"She's grown so much since I last saw her."
"She's a very healthy little girl…"
"As she grows, she looks just like her mother."
"Absolutely…"
The computer's camera switched between many different points and angles. Sometimes I saw through the eyes of an insect; sometimes through a keyhole, sometimes from a beautiful maid's hair clip, and sometimes from a small hole buried in the ground.
A little girl in a cute dress sat on a blanket spread out in front of the mountain cabin, cooking food for her dolls with toy utensils. The girl's short black hair was brushed back with a tiara. She had thin, red lips, which she clearly got from her mother. Her eyes were large and constantly sparkling; they were jet black, instilling hope in anyone who looked into them. She was playing with her toys, but she looked incredibly serious.
She would occasionally scold her toys as if they were misbehaving; then, thinking they were upset, she would hug and kiss them, continuing to make their food.
"You're crying…" I hadn't even realized tears were streaming from my eyes until I heard Dante Shade's voice.
"I missed her…"
Then, a maid came out of the mountain cabin and brought the girl some tea. The girl, who had been incredibly serious just moments before, stood up with great fervor and hugged the maid's legs. Her laughter was so genuine that it warmed my soul.
"Did you bring tea, Lova? A meal wouldn't be complete without tea, right?"
"Maria… Yes, I brought tea, but please, don't try to make your toys drink it this time. Especially the plush ones, they never dry out. If I see your toys wet again, I won't give you as much tea."
"Okay. I promise, Lova. I definitely won't give them tea." The girl's wide smile revealed her sparkling white teeth.
At that moment, I felt a hand on my shoulder. The instant I felt it, I slapped it hard to get rid of it. I didn't do it intentionally; it was pure reflex. Dante Shade, holding his struck hand, said:
"You need to return to your duty, Edgard." he said. "You know your time is up."
"Yes, my time is up, but…" I pointed to the screen with my hand. "Why can't I see her?"
"You'll see her eventually. For now, you just need to follow procedures."
Pulling away from the computer screen, I suddenly erupted in anger. "Procedure! Procedure! Procedure! I'm sick of hearing that damned word everywhere, Shade! I'm at my breaking point!"
"I understand, Edgard, but…"
"But what? But what, Shade? Does the S.W.R. give us any information? Do we get any feedback? No… Orders are given, we obey, we wait for the next one."
"When the S.W.R. came to you with the offer, you knew what the agreement required."
"I knew!"
"We warned you about the agreement!"
"Yes, I know!"
"Then bottle up your anger and obey orders, Edgard! You're not the only one who made a deal with the S.W.R.! Thousands of people have lost everything struggling for humanity! You're not the only one losing here!"
"Then why isn't the S.W.R. doing anything?" I asked, punching the metal wall. "People are dying in despair, in filth! Do you know how many people died in the colonies? Even more people died just to hide the dead!" I could hear the grinding of my teeth as I clenched them in rage. "While we're bleeding, why isn't the S.W.R.… why aren't they doing anything?"
Dante Shade stopped and looked at his watch. "You're asking the wrong question, Edgard." He brought his electronic cigar to his mouth and lit it once more. He took a deep puff and exhaled the fake smoke. "The real question you should be asking is this: What is the S.W.R. doing while all this is happening?"