"Motherfucker!" I shrieked, springing out of bed. I was in a pitch-dark room. The room was cool and smelled pleasant. That's why I yawned comfortably, scratched my ass a bit, and then sat upright in bed.
"Is anyone there?" I yelled into the darkness.
Before jumping out of bed, I tried to stand up on it to confirm my legs were working. The last time I woke from such a deep sleep and threw myself out of bed, I'd face-planted.
"Jose? Hulk?"
Suddenly, the lights flickered on. It was then I realized I was lying in the bed of the spaceship Hawk. The sudden light made my head spin so much that my stomach churned, and I spewed out my guts, vomiting. Of course, since I couldn't quite control myself while puking, the target of my vomit turned out to be Jose's face.
"Are you alright, sir?" he asked, offering me a tissue. As I wiped the corner of my mouth with the tissue, Jose was busy polishing and cleaning himself with a broom he pulled from his back.
"My bad, Jose. I had a terrible nightmare." Then, chuckling, "And you gave us hell because we put you in a cleaning robot body! Look how useful it turned out to be." With his wheel and face, I still thought he looked very cute. "By the way, why did you turn off the lights?"
"Sir, we usually shut down certain features of the system when traveling between star systems using wormholes."
"Why?"
"Since humans are already forced to sleep during this journey, most of the ship's internal systems don't need to operate. Because humans can contract certain neurological diseases during this trip."
Looking at the ship's windows, I noticed they were covered with metal shutters. "So… I'm awake now! By the way, where's our good-for-nothing Hulk? By now, he should have arrived with a bottle of alcohol in his hand, making an annoying comment."
"You are awake because you are not human."
"What nonsense are you spouting again, Jose? You've started again the moment I woke up…" I yawned widely, looking around. It was as if… I was craving something. I stroked my stomach a bit and said, "Jose, strangely, I'm craving a cigar. Is there any of Hulk's cigars left…"
Jose, blowing a small flame from the jet on his back, sped over to a compartment by the bed, fetched a cigar, and brought it back. With the jet propelling him from behind, he lit the cigar and placed it in my hand. I, a man who didn't know how to smoke a cigar, strangely wanted to smoke one. "Let me take a puff before Hulk sees." I took the first drag from the cigar, and the smoke-filled lungs immediately started coughing.
"You said you were dreaming, sir."
"Ah… Yes… Actually, I had two dreams. In one, I was visiting our family with my mother. It was a huge nightmare."
"What was the other one?"
"It was completely nonsensical. Like, we were going to the third planet. And you were passing out again there. Do you see the shallowness of my imagination? You fainted at the Dermovox facility, you know… And we panicked… Whatever big fear it created in my subconscious, you were fainting in my dream too. Anyway, we were exploring that planet. Then things happen, I don't want to bore you with the details. Finally, John Crowrift arrived. Can you believe I was a clone of John Crowrift? You killed our Connor and IVA. Then you carried me to bed to erase my memory. Luckily, it was just a dream. If it wasn't a dream, I would have lost my memory. Where's Hulk, by the way?" I secretly took another puff from the cigar. "He shouldn't see me smoking his cigar."
"Sir…" Jose scratched his metal head, as if he had hair there. He was capable of more human-like expressions with his humanoid body. "I don't know how to say this, but… But what you saw wasn't a dream."
"What do you mean?"
"Everything you saw happened."
I felt like I'd been struck in the head. A sudden shiver ran from my head to my toes. I trembled for a moment and took another drag from the cigar.
"What the fuck are you saying?!"
"It was all real."
"Then why is my memory intact?"
"When John Crowrift left you in the cave, he told me to put you to sleep. You know, he created me. So I listened to him because there was already damage to your brain. You were having a brain hemorrhage from trying to comprehend a creature called Siphonith, which John Crowrift created, with your human brain. You were moments from death. That's why we had to put you in a capsule and put you to sleep. According to John Crowrift's plan, he would freeze you in the capsule, then come back to recreate you after losing the Supreme World Republic's trail. The Supreme World Republic knew our ship and we were on that planet at the moment the Weapon Security team was attacked. So they could open an investigation into us. He even placed a bomb inside your capsule in case the Weapon Security teams opened an investigation and found us."
"So I was guaranteed to die. After all, Weapon Security wouldn't leave us alone."
"Not exactly. Because the Bioethics Oversight Agency knew we were there on a mission. We could have been saved with a brief explanation to the Bioethics Oversight Agency. After all, they were the ones who gave us the mission, and we were the victims. After the explanation letter to the Bioethics Oversight Agency, if our explanation was accepted, John Crowrift would have come back to recreate and abduct you after losing his trail. I can't even guess what his plan was after that because he didn't give me that kind of software."
"Then what happened?"
"That's when Hulk appeared. He had been hiding in our ship and infiltrated our cave in the same way. As he'd done before. Since Hulk was Ukar's assistant, he had a good understanding of biology and genetics. He researched the brain tissue necessary for your brain to not suffer hereditary damage and to heal. The problem was, we couldn't get out of the facility no matter what, because the moment we took you out of the glass capsule, you would surely die."
"So how am I alive then?"
"Allow me to show you this."
Jose went to the Hawk's cockpit and pressed a button. At that moment, a television descended from the ceiling. "I didn't know we had a TV."
The screen of the television first turned pure white. Then, with black smudges appearing, the television shook. Finally, when the screen stabilized, we saw Hulk, taking a puff from his cigar, with disinfectant on his table. Before speaking, Hulk let out a long burp.
"What's up, boss?" He took a swig from his bottle. "How's it going? If you're listening to this, I've probably, in a moment of drunken bravado, done something needlessly heroic. Oh, for fuck's sake! Damn this humanist, existentialist, and loving creature inside me!"
"Anyway, what was I saying? We're in deep shit again, boss. How you got us into trouble with a guy like John Crowrift is truly astonishing. But what's even more astonishing is that a genius like John Crowrift could come from a man like you. Of course, I would have preferred to work with Edgard, who is John Crowrift, rather than Edgard, who is Mehmet. But you can't choose your boss, can you? Let me not stray too much from the topic. To explain it in a language you can understand, your brain basically exploded, boss. It burst open like instant diarrhea, scattering a bunch of nerves everywhere in your brain. So, technically, you're not even alive right now."
"Aren't you exaggerating?" Jose shouted from behind. "If his brain was that damaged, he'd be long dead."
At that moment, Hulk turned the camera towards me, lying in the capsule, and Jose, standing beside me. After Jose waved at the camera, he turned it back to the table, towards himself.
"Yes, I might have exaggerated a bit." He burped. "I'm under the influence of alcohol, boss. My bad… Getting back to the point. The tissue sample needed to cure you is very rare. But interestingly, Ukar's test subjects' tissues have the ability to genetically adapt to other implanted tissues. So what happened to Ukar's test subjects? Yes… You blew them up! You and this stupid robot!" he said, turning the camera back to Jose. Jose gave a thumbs-up in approval.
"Yes, we did."
Hulk turned the camera back to himself once more. "Now I can tell you this. We don't have much time. We can't get you out of here, because the moment we do, the Supreme World Republic and John Crowrift, thinking we're trying to escape, will come after us. So if we take you out of here, the only thing we might be able to do is run as fast as possible. And since we're stuck here, there's only one thing left for us to do." Hulk grimaced. "Even though I don't want to, I have to sacrifice myself."
"Hooray! Long live Hulk!" Jose said and started clapping.
"No need for cheering!"
"You're a hero!"
"Okay, you're spoiling me! You normally wouldn't do things like this."
"You're the greatest!"
"Don't try to pump me up! Okay, I'll do it! Ah… So, as I was saying… Since I'm also one of Ukar's creations, my brain tissue can be integrated with yours and heal you." He took another puff from his cigar and paused. "Of course, first I'll need to repair IVA and Connor. I have to explain the transfer procedure to them. Looks like it'll take a long time." Then he pointed his finger at the screen and added: "I'll tell you this: if the Supreme World Republic or John comes during this time, I'll do something no scientist would do, take it as a sign from God, abandon the procedure halfway, sell you out, and disappear. I hope it takes a long time and they do come."
"Finally, I want to say this, boss. If my brain tissue is transplanted into you, you might have to drink disinfectant. Disinfectant is an alcohol product necessary for me and my kin to get rid of headaches… It doesn't have to be disinfectant, but that one really hits the spot. Now, I don't know if you'll be sad. I don't know if it will upset you to know that your handsome, victimized alien friend, who always drank disinfectant, did so out of necessity. I hope it upsets you… And then there's the cigar, of course. Cigars are for pleasure, but since I'm addicted, you might become addicted too. Come… Let's smoke a cigar together, boss. Take the cigar in your hand. Inhale deeply." As Hulk inhaled the cigar, I accompanied him, taking a big drag from mine.
"Aha… I'm assuming you just took a drag from the cigar, boss. Though before I die, I've probably rubbed it all over my dick. You've just kissed the little Hulk! Aha! You kissed my dick!"
I threw the cigar from my mouth and suddenly started spitting on the floor. "Fuck your work, Hulk! Did he really do something like that, Jose?"
Jose nodded as if to say yes.
At that moment, Hulk on the screen continued speaking. "When you wake up, you're probably heading towards the Beyond World. That planet is a planet not visited by the Supreme World Republic or John. That planet is probably on both their blacklists because it's a disgusting planet full of mutants. Plus, the path to that planet is intricate. Ukar would illegally obtain the tissue samples needed for experiments from that planet. You'll have to live an illegal life there, but it's better than dying, right? Of course, I won't tell you the details about the planet. If you're curious about anything, you can ask Jose. Because I won't be there." Hulk took another puff from his cigar. Then, with hazy eyes, he looked ahead and suddenly turned to say:
"Are you saying something, boss?" Another long silence. I didn't know what to say. Knowing that the person in front of me couldn't hear me, I somehow couldn't say anything. It was as if the words I wanted to say were stuck in my throat. Then Hulk, with tears streaming from his eyes and a smile on his face, said:
"It was a pleasure meeting you too, boss. If you ever run into John Crowrift, please spit in his face for me."
Hulk slapped the camera to turn it off. The camera fell to the ground but didn't turn off. Hulk, pulled into a dark corner, was sobbing uncontrollably as Jose picked up the camera and turned it off.