Chapter 531: The Queen of Hell's Parenting Skills and a One-Yen Promise
In the quiet warmth of the restaurant, Lucifer was enjoying a rare, uninterrupted moment alone with Ren. The two of them were curled up together, watching a suspense thriller on the computer monitor. Ren gently massaged Lucifer's calves, working out the tension in her legs, while the Queen of Hell occasionally picked up a slice of fresh fruit and fed it to him. They moved in perfect, comfortable sync.
"Oh my! The murderer was their own son?!" Lucifer's crimson eyes widened in genuine delight as the credits began to roll. "That is absolutely magnificent! He played the innocent victim and fooled everyone!"
Ren chewed the fruit she had just given him, nodding slowly. "The kid is basically a born criminal. Murder, dismemberment, hiding the corpse, framing the neighbors, forging an alibi, and wiping the fingerprints... pulling off a string of operations like that at his age is honestly quite impressive."
Lucifer tapped her chin, a wicked little smile curving her lips. "Such spectacular talent truly deserves a VIP ticket straight to Hell. If a child like that became one of my Undead Servants, he would undoubtedly be the most delightfully demonic one in the ranks!"
"You're completely outrageous," Ren said, giving her ankle a light squeeze. "The other person is just a kid."
"Precisely because he is a child!" Lucifer argued, puffing out her chest. "There is so much more room for growth and corruption!"
Ren paused his massage, looking up at her with a dry, amused expression. "You know, you've just successfully helped me make a very important decision."
"Oh? About what?"
"I can absolutely never let you take care of a child," Ren said flatly. "If they grow up to be a tsundere like you, that's fine. It's actually quite cute. But if they grow up to be a literal Little Devil under your tutelage, I'd probably be called in for parent-teacher conferences every single day."
Lucifer's face flushed a brilliant shade of red. She gritted her teeth, glaring down at him. "Why on earth can't I take care of my own child?! Do I look like some kind of terrible influence?!"
"Sort of."
"What do you mean, 'sort of'?!" Lucifer sputtered, her regal composure shattering. "I am incredibly good to you! That alone proves I am nowhere near as bad as that dusty old Bible makes me out to be!"
Ren raised an eyebrow. "Then what about your Undead Servants..."
"Uh... well... that is..." Lucifer stammered, her eyes darting away. "Right! They were originally deeply sinful people anyway! And it is utterly exhausting for us to manage all the administrative work in Hell by ourselves! We always need more employees! That is just basic economics! No more questions! I am a very good, very responsible woman!"
Ren chuckled, reaching up to pat her head. "I'll agree with that point. Though, it would be even better if you could cook something other than just desserts."
"You should learn to be content!" Lucifer huffed, though she leaned into his touch. "Many people cannot even bake a proper dessert! And I actively went out of my way to learn from you! This proves I am incredibly virtuous and capable, so I can totally raise a child perfectly well! Wait... did you just call me a tsundere earlier?! I am not a tsundere!"
Ren just smiled, continuing to stroke her silver hair, choosing not to poke the bear any further. He was just about to say something to soothe her bruised ego when the soft chime of the shop door echoed through the room, accompanied by a warm glow.
Lucifer frowned, clearly displeased that their private time was being interrupted. Still, she had already gotten to enjoy the most crucial part of the evening, so having a customer walk in now wasn't entirely unacceptable.
Ren turned his attention to the entrance, wondering who was visiting this late. The wooden door swung open, and Yuuka Kazami stepped inside. The Flower Master looked exactly the same as usual, carrying her signature elegance, but there was one notable difference tonight: Yakumo Yukari hadn't tagged along with her.
Meanwhile, far away in the Yakumo residence, the aforementioned gap youkai was currently buried under a mountain of blankets, sleeping soundly.
Out in the hallway, Yakumo Ran was pacing back and forth, her nine tails drooping miserably. She was almost in tears from the sheer hunger gnawing at her stomach. Because she knew Yukari was planning to take them to Ren's restaurant today, Ran had deliberately skipped cooking dinner, choosing to save her appetite. After all, how could her own culinary skills possibly compare to the divine dishes Ren served?
But now, the sun had set, and Yukari was still dead to the world!
Ran didn't dare barge in and wake her master from her slumber, so she was left with no choice but to wait outside the sliding doors, clutching her empty stomach.
"Lady Yukari should be waking up soon..." Ran whispered to herself, her fox ears twitching anxiously. "I really hope so..."
She had been muttering those exact words like a prayer for the past hour. She knew she could technically just open a gap and go to the restaurant by herself, but Yukari was still asleep. If the shikigami went ahead and ate without her master, she would be absolutely doomed when Yukari finally woke up!
And the most crucial detail of all... Yukari had explicitly made an appointment to bring a guest along today!
At that exact moment, sitting on the porch of the Hakurei Shrine, a certain shrine maiden was aggressively sipping a cup of cheap green tea.
Usually, by this time of the evening, Reimu would have already boiled a pot of plain white rice, cooked whatever wild vegetables she had managed to forage, and eaten her meager dinner. But tonight, the cooking pot remained entirely empty.
To be more accurate, she was rapidly running out of patience.
Just this morning, she had been sweeping the shrine grounds when Yukari had suddenly popped out of a spatial gap.
'If Lady Yukari dares to trick me...'Reimu thought, her grip tightening around her teacup until her knuckles turned white.'Should I just slap a sealing talisman on her face? Or maybe smash her head in with an Yin-Yang Orb? It's truly a difficult choice...'The situation that morning had played out roughly like this:'No incidents to resolve... how incredibly boring...'Reimu had sighed, lazily pushing a broom across the dirt.'Hmm? Lady Yukari?'
Without warning, a tear in reality adorned with creepy red eyes had opened right in front of her broom. Yukari leaned out of the gap, holding her parasol and smiling cheerfully. "Yo! Good morning, Reimu. Sweeping so early?"
"I need to go into the mountains to gather wild vegetables today, so I have to start early," Reimu replied flatly.
Yukari nodded in understanding. Reimu narrowed her eyes, instantly suspicious. "So, why are you here? Don't tell me you actually came to make a donation?"
The corner of Yukari's mouth twitched. "Hey... Reimu, if I told you we were having a massive, luxurious feast tonight, what would your reaction be?"
The moment those words registered, Reimu dropped her broom. It hit the dirt with a soft thud. "Lady Yukari, this is the very first time in my life I have ever thought you were a reliable person. So, what are we eating? Where is it? Are you hosting a banquet at your place?"
Yukari's eyelid gave a slight twitch. "No... I am not hosting a banquet. But there really will be a big feast."
"Eh? Really?"
Yukari smiled, her eyes curving into amused crescents. "Do you not believe what I say?"
Reimu took a step back, looking the gap youkai up and down with intense scrutiny. She nodded slowly. "If it's coming from your mouth... then it is probably completely unbelievable. I'd better finish sweeping quickly so I can go gather my wild vegetables..."
"Reimu!" Yukari shouted, dropping her mysterious aura for a second. "I am telling the truth! There really is a big feast! How could I possibly lie to you about food?"
Reimu tapped her chin, considering it. "Hmm... alright then. But I am still going to gather the wild vegetables just in case. Otherwise, I have a very strong feeling you're still going to trick me and leave me starving."
"Fine! Then I want to make a donation to prove my sincerity!"
Reimu froze. A bright, blinding smile instantly bloomed on her face. "Really?! We accept denominations of ten yen, one hundred yen, one thousand yen, ten thousand yen, and even one hundred thousand yen! Which one would you like to—"
Yukari reached into her dress and directly pulled out a single, dull one-yen coin, dropping it into the offering box.
The air in the shrine courtyard went completely still.
Yukari smiled brightly. "This should be sincere enough, right!"
"One yen?"
Reimu's smile vanished. She immediately snatched her broom off the ground and swung it directly at the youkai's head. One yen?! She was trying to buy her trust with one single yen?!
Yukari easily leaned back, dodging the broom with a teasing laugh. "Don't eat dinner tonight! Wait for me to come pick you up for the big feast!"
With that, she sank back into the gap, disappearing from the shrine entirely.
Reimu stood there, panting slightly, staring at the offering box for a long time. Three full seconds passed in total silence. Then, with a heavy sigh, she picked up her broom and continued working. Even a mosquito's leg was still meat. One yen was one yen.
And so, Reimu really had gone into the mountains to gather her wild vegetables, but when she returned, she decided to trust Yukari this one time. She didn't cook them. Instead, she just sat on the porch, drinking tea and waiting idly as the sun went down.
'Lady Yukari...'Reimu's stomach gave a loud, pathetic growl.'You had better not be tricking me...'
Back in the Yakumo residence, buried deep beneath her mountain of comfortable blankets, Yukari suddenly seemed to sense a chilling aura directed at her.
Her eyes snapped open in the darkness. She blinked at the ceiling for a long time, the gears in her head slowly turning as she shook off the haze of sleep.
"Eh?" Yukari muttered, tilting her head in confusion. "Did I forget something important?"
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