Chapter 532: It's an Incident! Public Urination and Defecation Will Be Fined
Just as Reimu Hakurei was rolling up her sleeves to prepare a meager meal, the air in the shrine shimmered. Yakumo Yukari materialized before her, a casual greeting already forming on her lips. However, the words died in the boundary youkai's throat the moment she noticed the massive, pulsing Yin-Yang Orb hovering ominously right beside the shrine maiden.
Yukari swallowed hard, her eyes darting to the glowing sphere. "Um... Reimu... why did you bring that orb out?"
Reimu kept her voice dangerously soft, her expression unreadable. "Oh, nothing. I just want to know where this promised big feast is. Are we going to the moon for it?"
Yukari waved her hands defensively, taking a small step back. "Don't... don't be impulsive! I have a reason! I really ran into a predicament! Reimu, if the rest of the world doesn't believe me, can't you?"
"Hmm? Since when is my nickname 'the rest of the world'?"
Yukari paused for a second, clearing her throat to mask the awkwardness. "Um... didn't I come straight here to find you the absolute second I finished being busy? Look at me! I still treat you the best!"
Reimu tilted her head, giving the older youkai a flat, deadpan stare. "You? Busy? Hearing the word 'busy' actually come out of your mouth is just too absurd."
Yukari flushed slightly, her voice dropping an octave as she looked away. "Um... I was dealing with a matter of life and death!"
Reimu's eyes rolled back until they resembled a dead fish. "You? Life and death? A big deal? Do you think I forgot you literally manipulate the Boundary of Life and Death? Who died?"
Reimu took a slow, deliberate step forward, the Yin-Yang Orb humming with volatile spiritual energy. Yukari shrieked, her composure cracking. "Reimu! What are you doing?!"
"Didn't you say you died? A Boundary Youkai dying, and you still dare to wander into my shrine? I will just exterminate you right now and finish the job."
"No! I said it concerns a matter of life and death! I really had a predicament!"
Reimu let out a long, weary sigh, the murderous aura receding just a fraction. "Alright, tell me your grand predicament. As long as the excuse isn't just that you overslept, I can accept it."
Yukari's charming smile instantly froze. 'I try to make an excuse, and you immediately barricade my only escape route? That is entirely too much!' Her mind raced, desperately searching for a valid, believable lie.
After a long, agonizing silence, Yukari finally arranged her features into a mask of utmost seriousness. "Alright. I overslept."
Seeing the great youkai admit it with such shameless frankness left Reimu utterly stunned. Yukari cleared her throat, snapping her fan open to hide her embarrassment. "Heh ya! It is all minor stuff anyway! Let us go, Reimu! To the big feast! Eh? Where is Ran?"
Hearing her name, Yakumo Ran, who had been huddled quietly in the corner of the courtyard, raised a trembling hand. "Lady Yukari! I am right here!"
Yukari breathed a sigh of relief. "Honestly, Ran, what are you doing crouching over there in the dirt?"
Reimu cast a sideways glance at the fox spirit. "Yakumo Ran. Public urination and defecation will result in a heavy fine."
Ran practically jumped out of her skin, shouting in a panic. "I am sorry! No... wait! I did not urinate or defecate in public! I was just crouching here to rest for a bit!"
Yukari sighed, shaking her head in disappointment. "Ran, you really need to exercise more."
Ran's mouth pulled into a tight grimace. She could hardly confess that she had been terrified the two of them were about to tear the shrine apart. She had been crouching in the safe zone, waiting to see if they were just bickering or if a true spell card battle was about to erupt, requiring her intervention. If she admitted that out loud, Reimu's Yin-Yang Orb would undoubtedly be crashing down onto her head today.
Reimu waved a hand dismissively. "So, where is this big feast?"
The words 'big feast' acted like a magic spell on Ran. Her ears perked up instantly, her eyes glowing with anticipation as she looked toward her master. Seeing the usually composed shikigami react like a starving animal, Reimu felt her own tension ease. It seemed there really was good food waiting for them.
Yukari turned her gaze toward the shrine's main doors. "It is right here, Reimu. Lend me the use of your shrine."
"Hmm? What exactly are you planning to do? Be careful, unauthorized use of shrine property will incur a heavy fee!"
"Uh... I will not misuse it. I am merely borrowing the door."
"Hmm? Really? Do you need a formal introduction to the door? That will be one hundred yen."
Ran winced. It was that familiar, shameless flavor of greed; this was indeed their unscrupulous shrine maiden. Yukari sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose. "I am just using your shrine's door to travel to the Restaurant."
"Huh?! What is it?! Using my door to go where?! What exactly are you doing? Where are we going to eat?!"
"I already told you, it is a Restaurant."
"Huh?! A Restaurant? What kind of Restaurant? Can you not just open a gap to get there?"
Yukari sighed again, her patience wearing thin. "It is a Restaurant located in Another World. I am just using your door as the anchor, so do not be nervous."
"Oh... Huh?! Another World?! I have not read many books, so do not try to lie to me."
"What could I possibly gain by lying to you? A handful of wild vegetables?"
Reimu was about to retort when the wooden frame of her shrine door suddenly began to emit a soft, ethereal glow. The door was actually lighting up! Ran was already practically drooling. She had tried eating plain tofu with dipping sauce at noon today, and while it was delicious, it simply could not compare to the culinary masterpieces Ren created. Just the thought of that perfectly golden, crispy fried tofu had her mouth watering.
Reimu scrambled over to the glowing threshold, pointing an accusing finger. "My shrine! Lady Yukari! Give me an explanation right now!"
"Do not be nervous, just open the door and you will understand."
Reimu hesitantly reached out and pulled the wooden door open. She froze in her tracks. A warm, inviting light spilled out from the other side, carrying the faint, intoxicating aroma of rich spices and roasted meat. Yukari snapped her fan open, a smug smile gracing her lips. "How is it? Isn't it interesting?"
Reimu stared blankly into the glowing portal for a long moment before whirling around. "Hey! Lady Yukari! This is an incident, right?! This has to be an incident!"
Yukari winced. She wanted to explain, but she honestly had no idea how to articulate the situation. A magical door linking to an otherworldly restaurant had suddenly manifested in Gensokyo, and for some reason, it specifically targeted the lairs of great youkai. No matter how one looked at it, this possessed all the classic hallmarks of an incident! Yet, Yukari knew for a fact that it was not.
After a long, agonizing pause, Yukari shook her head. "This is not an incident! Just come with me!"
"I want to see exactly what kind of incident this is!"
"I said it is not an incident!"
"Then why is my front door glowing?!"
"This is a magical gateway that links worlds!"
"And you are telling me that is not an incident?!"
Ran watched as Yukari physically grabbed the struggling shrine maiden and dragged her through the glowing threshold, quickly scampering in after them before the portal could close.
The moment the door shut, a blonde girl wearing a wide-brimmed witch's hat peeked out from behind a nearby tree. Her golden eyes sparkled with mischief. "Wow! Something fun!"
She dashed over to the shrine entrance and peered around, but the courtyard was completely empty. The girl rubbed her eyes in disbelief. "Eh?! That is not right! Where did those three big people just disappear to?!"
She stomped her foot in frustration. "Ugh... no! I must come back tomorrow and ask Reimu clearly!"
With that declaration, she hopped onto her wooden broom and shot into the sky.
On the other side of the dimensional threshold, inside the bustling dining hall, Yuuka Kazami sat elegantly at her table. She watched the glowing oak door settle back into its frame and spoke in a soft, melodic tone. "Ren, your Restaurant has been getting quite a few unique customers lately."
Ren, stepping out from the kitchen wiping his hands on a clean towel, smiled calmly. "But they are all very interesting, are they not?"
Yuuka thought for a moment, her serene gaze sweeping over the room. "More or less. But why did you step out of the kitchen?"
"Because new customers have arrived. And besides, Miss Kazami, you are surprisingly a bit clumsy."
Yuuka's elegant posture stiffened. "Clum... clumsy?!"
"It has been a while since I have seen your expression change so vividly. Seeing that familiar look again, I can finally rest assured."
Yuuka gritted her teeth, a faint flush of embarrassment coloring her pale cheeks. 'Damn it, my composure broke again! That bastard of a man!'
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