Chapter 533: Does White Rice Cost Money?
The ambient warmth of the dining room settled over the tables as Ren, Lucifer, and Yuuka Kazami turned their attention toward the chime of the entrance bell. Yuuka rested her chin against her hand, a faint glimmer of anticipation in her emerald eyes. That fleeting interest vanished the moment a very familiar pair of shoes stepped across the threshold. She let out a quiet, elegant exhale, preparing to turn her attention back to the potted plants lining the windowsill, when a sudden commotion froze her in place.
"Lady Yukari! Slow down! I haven't even put away my wild vegetables yet!"
"Oh, come on. Forget about your little weeds. Didn't I promise you a grand feast?"
"This is a localized incident!"
"This isn't... Yo! Mr. Owner! I have returned!"
Ren watched as Yakumo Yukari practically dragged a frantic shrine maiden into the dining area. He paused, taking in the chaotic sight, before offering a polite, understated smile. "Honestly, I have a deep appreciation for patrons like Miss Yakumo."
Yukari stopped in her tracks. She snapped her fan open, hiding the lower half of her face as a teasing glint danced in her violet eyes. "My, my. Is the owner confessing to me? I must admit, I am quite taken aback."
Ren shook his head, his expression remaining perfectly calm. "Not quite. I simply mean it is wonderful that you manage to bring in new customers every time you visit. From a business perspective, you are an ideal patron."
Yukari let out an airy laugh, the sound dripping with aristocratic amusement. "Not a confession, then? What a pity. Still, I hold a rather favorable impression of you, Mr. Owner. You are more than welcome to try and win my heart."
"I may just be a chef, but I am fairly adept at reading people," Ren replied dryly. "Miss Yakumo, there is not a single trace of romantic anticipation in your eyes."
Yukari blinked. She lowered her fan slightly and turned to the shrine maiden struggling beside her. "Reimu, look deeply into my eyes. Tell me, what do you see?"
"Eye boogers."
"I will end you."
"Is this really the time for your nonsense?!" Reimu wrenched her arm free and pointed an accusing finger at Ren. "You! The man behind the counter! Explain yourself! Why were my shrine doors glowing?! No, wait... why are you operating inside my shrine?! No, that is not right either... where exactly are we?!"
Ren maintained his placid demeanor, wiping down the polished wood of the counter. "This is a restaurant that connects to other worlds. There is no need to panic. You can return home simply by walking back through that door. It is just an eatery."
Reimu narrowed her eyes, crossing her arms defensively. "You expect me to believe that your establishment magically grafted its entrance onto my shrine, and this is just a normal restaurant? Do I look like a fool to you?"
Yukari pressed a hand against her forehead, sighing with exaggerated weariness. "Mr. Owner, please forgive her. This child spends her entire life resolving supernatural anomalies. She treats everything out of the ordinary as a hostile incident."
"Because this is an incident!" Reimu snapped. "Is this some kind of spatial manipulation trap? I have to admit, the bounded field here is incredibly stable..."
"That is quite enough, Reimu," a soft, measured voice drifted from a nearby table.
Reimu stiffened, turning to see the Flower Master of the Four Seasons calmly sipping her tea.
"This is no incident," Yuuka Kazami said, her tone smooth and unhurried. "The restaurant simply happened to bridge a connection to Gensokyo. The very first door opened directly inside my sunflower field."
Reimu stared at the ancient youkai, her defensive posture dropping almost instantly. "So this really is not an anomaly? Just an accidental crossing between worlds?"
Yuuka offered a slight, graceful nod. "I am a regular patron here."
Reimu nodded firmly. "If you say so, then I believe it."
Yukari gripped her folding fan so tightly the bamboo ribs creaked. She gritted her teeth, her elegant facade cracking. "Reimu! Why do you refuse to listen to a single word I say, yet you instantly believe Yuuka?! I refuse to accept this blatant favoritism!"
Reimu shot her a deadpan look. "Because Yuuka actually looks reliable. You do not."
Yuuka let out a quiet, breathy chuckle. "Your judgment is flawless, little shrine maiden." Her emerald eyes shifted toward the gap youkai, her gaze turning sharp and calculating. "Now then, Lady Yukari. Care to explain why this shrine maiden knows about my private sanctuary?"
Yukari stiffened, a bead of sweat forming on her brow. "Ah... Yuuka, did I forget to mention it?"
Yuuka simply stared at her, offering nothing but a cold, heavy silence.
Sensing the rising tension, Yukari quickly pivoted, flashing a brilliant smile at the counter. "Mr. Owner! I require meat and premium alcohol! Oh, and dessert!"
Yakumo Ran, who had been standing quietly behind her master, perked up. "Mr. Owner! I... I would also like meat, and a large serving of fried tofu!"
Ren nodded, pulling out a fresh notepad. "And to drink?"
Ran opened her mouth to ask for fruit juice, but a chillingly sweet voice cut her off.
"Ran," Yukari murmured, her tone dripping with passive-aggressive disappointment. "You would not dare order something as childish as juice, would you? If my own shikigami did such a thing, I would feel utterly humiliated."
Ran flinched, her fox ears flattening against her head. "I... I want alcohol too! Please serve me alcohol!"
Ren looked at the trembling fox spirit, a faint smile touching his lips as he shook his head. What a pitiful little fox. He turned his attention back to the shrine maiden.
"And what would you like to eat, Miss Reimu?"
Reimu stepped forward, her expression turning deadly serious. "If you are the chef of this establishment... a place capable of capturing the interest of both Yuuka and Lady Yukari must serve truly exceptional cuisine."
Ren considered this for a moment. "Exceptional might be an overstatement. My cooking simply happens to suit their particular tastes."
Lucifer rolled her eyes from her seat, choosing to remain silent at the chef's habitual modesty.
Yukari chuckled, waving her fan dismissively. "Do not listen to his humble deflections, Reimu. His culinary skills are genuinely extraordinary."
Reimu gave a solemn nod. She walked up to the counter, her small frame forcing her to look up at Ren. Her eyes burned with absolute determination. "Very well, owner. I am ready to place my order."
"Whenever you are ready."
Reimu took a deep, steadying breath. "Before I commit to anything, I must ask you one critical question. Does the plain white rice here cost money?"
A heavy silence descended upon the dining room.
Ren's expression remained neutral, though a tiny muscle near his jaw twitched. Yukari slapped a hand over her face, groaning quietly. "How utterly humiliating."
Ran stood frozen in place, her jaw slightly slack in sheer disbelief.
Yuuka Kazami's lips curved into a faint, highly amused smile. As expected from that hopelessly destitute shrine maiden.
Lucifer, unable to contain herself, burst into a fit of ringing laughter.
Ren cleared his throat, his voice perfectly level. "Plain rice is complimentary."
Reimu's eyes lit up. "And the water? Does water cost money?"
"It is also free."
Reimu let out a massive sigh of relief, the tension leaving her shoulders. "In that case, I will have one pot of plain water and one large bowl of plain white rice!"
Ren stared at her. He really should have known better than to expect anything else. Lucifer wiped a tear from her eye, having never encountered such an absurdly frugal customer in all her demonic years.
Yukari dropped her hand from her face, sighing in pure exasperation. "Reimu, the dishes here are incredibly affordable. A standard meal will only cost you a few hundred yen."
"A few hundred yen?!" Reimu gasped, clutching her empty coin pouch as if physically wounded.
Ren nodded. "Roughly that amount. A simple dish like tamagoyaki is only about one or two hundred yen."
Reimu gritted her teeth, shaking her head vehemently. "Absolutely not! I only want a bowl of plain rice and a pot of water!"
Yukari rubbed her temples. "Fine, fine... Owner, please prepare the exact same meal for Reimu as you are making for me."
Reimu's eyes widened. "Lady Yukari!"
"Do not worry about it. I am paying."
"Lady Yukari!"
Yukari raised an elegant eyebrow. "Hmm? What is the matter now?"
"I just realized today that you are actually a wonderful person!"
Yukari's eye twitched. "Owner. Cancel her order. Just give her the plain rice."
Without a shred of dignity, Reimu lunged forward, wrapping her arms tightly around Yukari's sleeve. "Yukari! Please! A seventeen-year-old, breathtakingly beautiful young girl like you could never be so cruel to a poor shrine maiden, right?!"
The shameless flattery worked instantly. Yukari's lips curved into a deeply satisfied smile, her irritation melting away. "Hmm. Naturally, I could never be so heartless. Owner, I leave our meals in your capable hands."
Ren offered a slight nod, turning toward the kitchen. "Understood. Please wait a moment."
[Akarin's Note: Hakurei Reimu is notoriously poor in the Touhou Project canon. Her shrine rarely receives donations, leading to her extreme frugality and absolute obsession with money and free meals.]
[Akarin's Note: Yakumo Yukari is an ancient youkai who has lived for over a thousand years, but she has a running gag in the Touhou fandom where she insists she is a "17-year-old girl." Calling her old usually results in a swift and violent retaliation.]
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