"If I hear even half a word about last night coming from their mouths, I will cut off both of those precious tails of yours!"
Kabe suddenly felt a chill between his legs. He instinctively squeezed his thighs together and nodded repeatedly.
Then, a moment later, something struck him as very wrong.
Wait a minute. He was the one who had suffered, the one who got harassed.
So why did it feel like the culprit was the one acting like a victim and threatening him now?
His gaze cooled. Before Mira could react, he wrapped an arm around her waist and reversed their positions in an instant.
"Pa!"
Using the same posture, Kabe slammed Mira against the wall with a wall slam of his own. His teeth clenched so hard they creaked as he growled,
"Fine, I almost let you confuse me there.
You shameless delinquent, after doing this and that to me, did you really think a light little apology would be enough for me to forgive you?"
"Th... this and that? I... I do not know what you are talking about."
Mira's eyes flickered, trying to muddle through with feigned ignorance.
But Kabe was not the kind of person who would swallow his anger after taking a loss.
"Heh, you do not get to decide that."
He leaned in, bringing his face closer and closer to hers.
Seeing that, Mira's mind went blank from the shock. After a dazed heartbeat, her face flared red and she squeezed her eyes shut.
Just as she was nervously, secretly anticipating that "something" to happen, a warm breath suddenly brushed against her earlobe, making her body go weak on instinct.
At the same time, Kabe's voice sounded right by her ear.
"Mira, you would not want your little brother and sister, or even the rest of the guild, to find out that you are the type who takes advantage of someone while they are drunk and does improper things, right?"
Mira: "...Pervert!!"
...
Half an hour later, Kabe walked into the guild with a slightly awkward gait, supported by Mira at his side.
Laki, who was wiping down tables, caught sight of them from the corner of her eye.
She looked up, about to greet them, when she noticed the strange way Kabe was walking.
"Plop."
The rag slipped from her hand and fell to the floor. Laki covered her mouth with both hands, eyes wide, her brain instantly supplying all sorts of 18+ scenes.
"Y-you two... Mira, did you and Kabe do that kind of thing last night?!"
"Whoaaa!"
The moment the words left her mouth, the previously quiet guild exploded.
All the adults who had been groaning over hangovers and lying limp on the tables sprang up like they had springs attached to their backsides.
"What?!"
"Who? Did what? Kabe and Mira?!"
"Beast! Mira is still so young!!!"
Listening to the waves of outrage directed at him, Kabe practically jolted like he had been electrocuted. He hurriedly put some distance between himself and Mira, waving his hands frantically.
"Do not say nonsense, Laki, nothing like that happened!"
"Eh, really?" Laki looked genuinely disappointed.
Then she bowed deeply to Kabe with exaggerated seriousness.
"I am sorry, Kabe. I said something I should not have. As punishment, you can hang me up and whip me however you like."
"Pff... I am begging you, please stop. I do not have that kind of hobby."
Under Kabe's desperate pleas, Laki finally shut her mouth.
The rest of the guild members realized they had jumped to the wrong conclusion and, grumbling, flopped back onto their tables and chairs.
Face full of misery, Kabe went off to find a seat for himself.
Everything that had happened since morning made him feel more exhausted than completing some high-difficulty mission.
Feeling guilty, Laki quickly brought him a plate of fruit and snacks on the house. Then she moved behind him and started earnestly massaging his shoulders.
Only then did Kabe feel a little better, though he still lectured her,
"Laki, you need to stop reading those books that are not suitable for children. When the master wakes up, I am going to suggest that Erza conduct regular inspections of your dorm rooms.
If you do not want to be caught with contraband books, you had better throw them away as soon as you get home. Or you can give them to me for safekeeping."
Laki nodded quickly with a bright, fawning smile, but in her heart she did not take it seriously at all.
Kabe had no idea that among the girls' dorms, the one who secretly hid the largest stash of indecent books was actually Bisca.
Some of Laki's favorite volumes were borrowed from her.
Just then, Lisanna and Elfman walked out from the back kitchen, where they had been washing dishes.
Since they had been in the kitchen, they had no idea what had just happened in the guild hall.
Seeing Laki massaging Kabe's shoulders, Lisanna hurried over to help as well.
She grabbed hold of Kabe's right arm and gently kneaded it, cautiously probing,
"Big brother Kabe, are you done talking with big sis Mira?"
"Mm."
"What did you talk about?"
"Not telling you."
"Come on, tell me. I am really curious."
"No. Mira said I am not allowed to."
Realizing that she would not get anything out of him, Lisanna promptly abandoned Kabe and went to hover busily at Mira's side instead.
"Hehe, big sis Mira, just tell me, all right? Even if you do not say it, I already heard some of it. Last night, in big brother Kabe's room, you..."
Mira had originally been planning to keep a cold face and ignore Lisanna no matter what she said.
But the moment she heard that Lisanna had been eavesdropping last night, she panicked, rushing to cover the girl's mouth at once.
Laki's ears twitched, and her hands suddenly paused mid-massage.
Then, with cheeks puffed up in anger, she shoved Kabe forward.
"So you did do it last night, and you lied to me, saying you did not!"
Kabe: "...I am tired. Let the world burn."
A second later, however, the furious Laki's expression flipped into a flattering grin. She sidled back up to Kabe with a sly look and whispered,
"But if you are willing to tell me the details, I can lend you some of my prized collection to use."
"...Get lost."
"Tch... Kabe, you are so stingy!"
While Kabe and Mira were being tormented to no end by Laki and the other little brats, trouble of a completely different sort was brewing outside the guild.
Just beyond the windows, five pairs of eyes sparkled as they peered in at the lively scene inside.
"Wow, everyone is so tiny.
That is big brother Kabe! I never noticed before, but he was really that small when he was a kid?!"
A blonde girl wearing a blue-and-white vest and a short skirt whispered excitedly, her voice full of wonder.
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