Zheng Daniu wasn't completely hopeless — at least he knew he was. He grinned through a mouthful of lamb.
"I'm a fool, right? What girl would ever like an idiot like me?"
Zhao Ying twirled a bone between her fingers.
"Fools don't overthink. Unlike smart men — all lies and calculations. What's so bad about being simple?"
Daniu laughed again, happily gnawing on another piece of lamb.
Zhao Ying leaned close, one arm looping casually around his neck until their heads nearly touched.
"I know a girl who doesn't hate fools," she whispered. "Want me to introduce you? You two might actually get along."
Daniu blinked. "Wait, you know a girl who likes fools?"
"Far away and yet… right in front of you."
He looked around the shop. Eight people total — himself, five grenadiers, Zhao Ying, and the shopkeeper. His gaze landed on the shopkeeper.
Eyes wide, he gasped, "Wait, the shopkeeper's a woman in disguise?!"
Choke!
All five grenadiers immediately inhaled lamb the wrong way and started pounding their own chests.
Zhao Ying let out a strangled groan and toppled backward, half laughing, half dying inside.
The shopkeeper wiped cold sweat and backed into the corner, terrified to even exist.
Daniu pointed at the fleeing shopkeeper, utterly serious.
"See? She doesn't like fools. Guess that match won't work."
Outside, watching through a crack in the window, Li Daoxuan covered his face with both hands and offered a silent prayer for humanity.
Qiachuan dock
The Gao Village militia and the cavalry had already left — fight done, no loitering.
But the Heyang County militia couldn't go yet. Someone had to clean up: collect the bandit corpses, strip the armor, pile up the weapons, dig holes, and bury the naked remains before the smell got political.
Captain Feng Jun was still rounding up the terrified laborers, slapping yellow hats on them and shouting orders to keep building concrete fortifications by the river.
The chaos was exhausting — work that turned heroics into paperwork.
And after that, they still needed a garrison to watch the dock permanently, in case another rebel fleet tried a surprise landing. Everyone knew the odds were low… but bureaucracy doesn't believe in odds.
Heart-breaking labor.
Meanwhile, Wang Er and the men from Wang Village hadn't withdrawn either. They stayed to help bury the dead — because guilt was cheaper than incense.
Wang Er sighed, pointing at one body.
"That guy called me brother just a few days ago. Now he's fertilizer."
Bai Yuan flicked open his fan — the words "True Gentleman" flashed across it — but whatever wise remark he meant to deliver evaporated. He closed the fan with a snap and said nothing.
When the work was finally done, Wang Er waved to his villagers.
"Let's go." They turned northwest, marching home.
Bai Yuan called after him,
"Keep your men disciplined! On the way back, no looting, no arson!"
Wang Er raised his hand without turning around.
"Who do you take me for? If anyone dares loot — even my own brother — I'll cut off his damned head!"
He strode off, dust swirling behind him.
Bai Yuan stood quietly, waiting. He knew Feng Jun wasn't finished talking.
Sure enough, Feng Jun sidled up moments later, voice low but edged.
"Sir Bai, the combat strength of your Gao Village militia is… quite extraordinary. So many muskets, so much armor, cannons, strange bombs… Tell me, what exactly are you people doing?"
Bai Yuan smirked, flipping his fan open again.
"Protecting ourselves, of course."
"Protecting…" Feng Jun echoed slowly. "Wouldn't you say you're a little over-equipped for self-defense?"
Bai Yuan shrugged.
"Tell me, Magistrate Feng — if we don't arm like this, and Wang Jiayin marches in with fifty-thousand rebels, what then? You think ordinary pitchforks can stop that?"
Feng Jun's face darkened.
"They can't. But using near-treasonous methods isn't the solution either."
Bai Yuan patted him on the shoulder, voice calm and heavy.
"Magistrate Feng, if you can't stop them, are you planning to die gloriously for the empire?"
"Of course," Feng Jun replied flatly.
Not even a drop of blood from his nose this time — which somehow made it more disturbing. "If the nation falls, I'll die with it. No hesitation."
Bai Yuan chuckled softly.
"A true patriot. Admirable. But not everyone shares your enthusiasm for martyrdom. Some of us — like me, or my villagers — prefer not to die pointlessly. If regular weapons can't win, then we'll use… irregular ones."
Feng Jun's tone hardened.
"That's treason. Nine generations will be executed."
"Then what's the difference?" Bai Yuan shot back. "If the rebels kill my people, that's nine generations gone anyway. If the court kills us for defending ourselves — same result. Might as well assume both sides are pigs from the same pen."
The words hit like a musket shot. Feng Jun literally froze.
Such blasphemy — spoken in Bai Yuan's calm, cultured tone — was almost worse than shouting rebellion outright.
Bai Yuan's voice softened again.
"But if the court doesn't call us traitors, and doesn't kill our families, we'll stay obedient citizens. It's really that simple."
And Feng Jun finally understood:
If he reported Gao Village to the capital, they would rebel.
If he didn't… they'd remain loyal.
Their loyalty or rebellion now rested entirely on his next decision.
He exhaled slowly.
"Sir Bai… are you threatening an officer of the court?"
Bai Yuan laughed, snapping his fan closed with a crisp whap.
"In times like these, even gentlemen need impolite tools to stay alive. You decide, Magistrate."
He turned. A servant led his horse over.
Bai Yuan mounted in one fluid motion, white robes flaring — effortlessly handsome, infuriatingly calm.
He nudged the horse, and it thundered off, his entourage following in perfect formation.
Feng Jun watched the fading silhouettes, saying nothing for a long time.
Finally, his aide crept up and whispered,
"Master, your nosebleed…"
Feng Jun wiped his face — clean. Not a trace of blood this time.
That, somehow, was more worrying.
"Sir, he was too arrogant," the aide hissed. "You should have ordered his arrest. Take the bandit chief, and the rest will scatter."
Feng Jun shook his head slowly.
"You still don't see it. Bai Yuan isn't the real leader. Lady Li, the three stewards, Zhao Instructor, He Instructor — every one of them could lead a revolt. Capture Bai Yuan, and you'll only cause it."
He stared toward the horizon, eyes heavy.
"This Gao Village… what in Heaven's name am I supposed to do with them?"