"I don't like these papers. I don't like them at all. Why are you using them?"
Dr Yibo finished speaking as he pulled the documents completely out of Zhan's hands and turned away, walking back to his desk to inspect each sheet one by one.
Zhan let out a quiet breath before replying,
"These are the sheets they gave me to work with. Matron Tanga said the tablets meant for documentation haven't arrived yet from the ministry."
When Dr Yibo turned and looked at him from where he stood, Zhan's hands dropped to his sides now that he was no longer holding the papers. And as Dr Yibo stared, it felt as if the sight finally broke whatever illusion had been lingering from the dream he once had....because now all he saw was a nurse he had to work with. Nothing more.
The way Zhan had been holding those papers reminded him too clearly of that dream, how he had seen him with documents even there. His thoughts drifted to why Zhan was using paper at all instead of the usual digital system.....the computers or tablets that were supposed to be standard for staff.
His mind wandered back to all the other paper files Matron Tanga had brought him the previous day, things that should have been emailed or sent through the hospital system.
So after the nurse named Zhu finished giving his report and left, Dr Yibo had opened his computer and checked his emails. Surely there would be some explanation for why a program like this had no digital equipment yet. But he found nothing useful.
He was still scrolling through messages when he heard Zhan greet him earlier. He responded briefly without looking up, absorbed in the search that brought him no answers.
Whatever Zhan said after that, he did not hear. He stood up simply to take the documents from him so he could see exactly what he had been writing.
Among yesterday's reports and the new ones for today, he noticed additional informal notes.....probably things shared between Zhan and other nurses. He hadn't expected him to have an explanation for using the papers, but Zhan's answer had come out more complete than he anticipated.
Dr Yibo sighed inwardly. He never liked working with anything linked to government processes. Even when he agreed to take this job, the frustration of dealing with government systems had weighed on him. In this country, anything tied to government funding passed through too many hands, each person eager to take a piece for themselves.
By the time whatever was approved at the top trickled down to the workers, everything became unreliable....missing equipment, missing funds, missing accountability.
So Zhan's explanation made the situation clear. There was no real reason for the missing tablets except disorganization and delay.
Dr Yibo finally turned fully toward him.
"You don't need to hold on to all these papers. I've read what you wrote. Let's go see the patients. If there's anything you need to record, use your phone."
His gentle voice surprised Yibo, the same softness he'd noticed the day before.
"Okay, sir," Zhan answered quietly.
Dr Yibo nodded once.
"Shall we?" he said, gesturing toward the door.
Zhan inhaled slightly before turning to lead the way. Dr Yibo grabbed his phone and water bottle from the desk and followed him.
On the ward
The moment they entered the first male ward, Zhan realized the mistake he made by leaving his papers behind.
He wasn't used to typing on his phone, and he struggled to keep up with the speed at which Dr Yibo dictated information. The doctor didn't look at him or slow down; his full attention remained on the patients, asking questions, examining them, and listing everything that needed to go in their charts, including prescriptions for each one.
Even normally, the prescriptions alone were heavy.... now combined with full assessment reports, Zhan's hand was trembling from trying to keep up.
By the time they finished the male ward, his fingers felt numb. He nearly dropped Dr Yibo's water bottle when the doctor gave him to hold earlier during an examination.
In the female ward, at the second bed, Dr Yibo asked him something and didn't receive an answer. He turned toward him, saw the way Zhan's hands were shaking, and asked if he was tired.
Zhan did not know what possessed him to look up. If his eyes were lowered; if he had kept his own gaze down, he could have simply admitted his exhaustion. But the moment their eyes met, something in his chest trembled violently again.
Zhan shook his head without even realizing it.
Dr Yibo turned away immediately and continued listing his notes.... fast, detailed, and relentless.
When they finally finished, and Zhan handed his phone to Aji so she could copy the notes, she stared at the long list of entries.
She even nodded in admiration, saying today she couldn't see any difference between him and the trained staff who had gone through the program's formal orientation. In fact, she started jotting down her own tasks based on his notes, admitting she herself struggled with some of the details.
Zhan listened to her, but his focus was gone. His eyes rested on Dr Yibo's water bottle on the table.
The same bottle he had held earlier....Nongfu Spring, written in bright red ink. His throat was dry, but he couldn't drink from it. He'd seen Dr Yibo lift the bottle twice to take a sip.
He couldn't touch it now.
So instead, he placed the bottle back on the table, lowered his head onto it, and closed his eyes.
Two things pounded inside him at once.....exhaustion, and Aji's nonstop chatter.....both of them threatening to overwhelm him completely.
¦
¦
All through that week, Zhan struggled with endless writing. It wasn't only Aji.... even the male nurses would praise him whenever he submitted a report, until eventually they also began to feel it themselves. The workload on the patients under Dr. Yibo's supervision never allowed even the smallest chance for real rest. Some nurses even found others still working when they resumed shift, because before one task ended, a new case had already arrived. Even the other two doctors were constantly on their feet. On the day a mistake occurred and Dr. Yibo confronted one of the doctors, Zhan himself nearly collapsed from stress.
To make things harder, Aji had started feeling unwell for the past two days, so Zhan had to handle some of her duties as well. Patients were recovering and being discharged, but the beds never stayed empty.....two would leave, and three more would arrive. There were always operations, always critical cases needing intensive care.
And even with all that, not every patient was admitted. When some officials from the ministry visited to observe the program, they explained again that all this work was only for sample data.....full implementation would come later.
So every day, Zhan returned home exhausted. Sometimes he poured hot water on himself to relax a bit. And sometimes Nainai complained loudly that any job that pays this much is bound to drain your strength.
But it wasn't only the physical exhaustion. The constant flow of information coming from Dr. Yibo every single morning overwhelmed his mind just as much as the work overwhelmed his body. The doctor's steady voice, the nonstop instructions, and the way his chest tightened whenever Dr. Yibo turned to look at him.....these were the things that rattled him the most.
Zhan could swear he had never met anyone who intimidated him the way Dr. Yibo did. Even the patients felt the doctor's commanding presence when he questioned them, but none of them saw what Zhan felt in himself.... the way his heart hammered whenever their eyes met, or whenever Dr. Yibo gave him an instruction. He still couldn't get used to it. The strange flutter in his chest never stopped whenever he was near the doctor. And that wasn't even counting the moments when Dr Yibo had to stand extremely close to him while reviewed his notes or corrected something he wrote.
He wasn't sure if this feeling was mixed with the fear he had felt the first day he ran into him in the office… or the fear that grew stronger when he later realized this was the same Dr. Yibo he would be working with.
He kept telling himself that maybe Dr. Yibo didn't recognize him at all, since the doctor never said anything. He didn't even show a hint that he remembered him, so Zhan reassured himself that even if he accidentally asked, he would simply deny knowing him. There was no way Dr Yibo could pressure him to admit it.
The most embarrassing part was when Aji told him about how some nurses panicked whenever they first saw Dr. Yibo. And everything she described matched what he himself felt....in fact, his own reaction was even worse. She only comforted him by saying all of them eventually got used to it, got married, had kids, and moved on with life. Hearing that, Zhan imagined that one day he too would look back and laugh at this phase.
With that little confidence, he pushed himself through the workload each day. Sometimes he even returned home with the bottle of Dr. Yibo's remaining drinking water.... ever since he discovered that he could pour the remaining water into a cup and drink it, he had found that the taste felt oddly soothing. A little sweet, even. So he secretly hoped Dr. Yibo would forget his water bottle again on some table where he stood reading test results or examining an X-ray.
Time moved on like that, until even Zhan felt he was beginning to adjust to the job. He was getting used to the exhaustion.....going out every morning to collect a new batch of it just to bring home at night and sleep it off.
:-*:-*:-*:-
"Wow… you look good!"
Bai said the moment Zhan stepped out of the room into the living area. But before he even finished his sentence, Zhan shot him a sharp glare that forced him into silence. Still, everyone in the room had already lifted their eyes toward him.
Aunt Shui was eating, Nainai was opening a small packet of powdered bitter garden egg to sprinkle on her food, and Uncle Zhong had just come in from outside, tapping on his phone beside Nainai.
Zhan didn't need to say anything.... they all immediately understood Bai was lying. Zhan wasn't wearing any makeup or anything that could be called dressing up. He was simply wearing one of his new outfits, the ones he hadn't even worn more than twice. But today, because Nainai insisted he and Bai accompany Jincai on the outing he promised to treat Bai to for his sixteen birthday last week, he didn't have the chance to refuse.
Everyone knew this outing wasn't truly for Bai's sake. It was because of Zhan.
Jincai was the grandson of Nainai's close friend, and for a long time, everyone knew he only came to the house because of Zhan. Ever since high school, Jincai had openly confessed his feelings to him. At the time, Zhan had tried everything to gently talk him out of it, saying he wanted to focus on school. Even after he didn't get admission, Jincai still kept coming to the house, to the point Nainai nearly agreed with him....saying if school didn't work out, marriage would solve everything.
He was persistent in a way Zhan had never seen. He kept visiting until he was transferred to work in Nanjing, and only then did Zhan finally breathe. Even while living away, Jincai never missed a chance to pass by their house whenever he returned to the city.
Now he had come back....at the exact time Nainai was growing impatient. She complained that the stress of Zhan's hospital job was becoming too much. She insisted that life wasn't made for endless work, but for settling down and building a family. She often pointed out how Lici Elder Uncle's daughter married early and how she had been the one encouraging it.
And now she talked about Yufei too, pressing Elder Uncle about her. So of course she would press Zhan even more....after all, he was right in front of her. Once any child in the family reached twenty, Nainai immediately added him to her "marriage list."
So today, when Zhan said he didn't feel like going out....since he finally had a weekend off... Nainai simply gave him a look that meant he had no choice. That was how he ended up dressed and ready, while Bai teased him about "looking good."
"Well, you should get going. That boy has been waiting downstairs for a while now,"
Nainai said, tying the packet her bitter garden egg powder.
Aunt Shui added,
"Zhan, I'm sending you the money for the Nan cereal, please don't forget to bring it for me."
Uncle Zhong lifted his eyes from his phone.
"There'll be no cereal. You know anything they buy today, Jincai will be the one paying. Don't load extra expenses onto him."
Aunt Shui frowned.
"But what am I supposed to do? Ours just finished."
"I'll get it for you when I go out later,"
Uncle Zhong said.
Then he turned to Zhan.
"That incense you bought for me last time....I need another bottle, mine is finished."
Zhan sighed.
"Uncle, just take the bottle and call the number on it. They deliver. A woman sells it at my workplace."
He nodded.
"Fine, let me have it. With how damp this neighborhood gets during rainy season, incense is necessary."
Nainai shook her head.
"Zhong, if you were a woman, I'd say you should start selling incense for a living."
He only laughed as he took the bottle Bai handed him, dialing the number written on it.
"Nainai, this incense is something else. That's why you see me buying it in batches. None of the ones my wife brings even come close to this."
Zhan listened as Aunt Shui joined in, praising both the scent and how long-lasting it was. Soon after, they all exchanged goodbyes, and he and Bai stepped outside to leave.
Outside, they found Jincai already waiting. The gate had been opened for him and he had driven his car out. Bai nudged Zhan toward the front and received another sharp glare before opening the car door. Jincai, however, wasn't even slightly annoyed by how long they'd kept him waiting....something Zhan himself knew they had been late a while.
Instead, Jincai smiled widely the moment Zhan got in and greeted them. Zhan couldn't help apologizing for their delay, even though Jincai clearly wasn't upset.
From there, he launched into a cheerful stream of explanations.... saying he didn't mind at all, that even if they stayed out till the next day, he wouldn't be bothered. Zhan answered politely at first, but soon pulled out his phone and kept tapping, leaving Bai and Jincai to chat.
At the mall, Bai followed Jincai around enthusiastically, while Zhan, after finding the row of shelves filled with fragrances, picked up the one he liked and then stepped aside to stand quietly with his phone.
He didn't even have much time to talk to his school friends on WeChat or Weibo anymore.
"You're standing like I'm supposed to sing you a love song."
Zhan heard Jincai's voice behind him and looked up to see him approaching with a cup of ice cream, which he held out. Zhan glanced at the ice cream with a brief flicker of thought, then took it and said:
"A love song? Are you even capable of singing anything decent?"
Jincai laughed happily.
"Just give me the chance and you'll see."
Zhan's eyes shifted toward Bai, who was heading toward them with a shopping basket overflowing with items.....so full that Zhan already felt sorry for Jincai's bank account.
"You've got a few seconds before Bai gets here."
Jincai turned to glance at Bai, then looked back at Zhan....and without warning, began singing in an exaggerated, dramatic voice Zhan had heard around town:
.....Honestly, you are my moonlight! Don't leave me in the sun, take me to my beloved one, your love has taken over my heart….
Zhan didn't even realize when his hand flew up to cover his mouth as he burst into laughter.
And at that exact moment...perfectly timed....Yibo turned the corner toward the same fragrance section where he usually came to buy his perfumes whenever he visited the mall.
The moment Zhan turned and met Yibo's eyes, Jincai was still in front him, passionately belting out the rest of the song…
Zhanxianyibo💚❤️💛