The moment we stepped back into the village, people stared.
Not in the "wow, you're amazing" way.
More like the "why is this random dude covered in monster dust, accompanied by a goblin, two slimes, a glowing orb, a haunted forest creature, and what appears to be an undead wolf puppy?" way.
A farmer dropped a basket of turnips.A kid pointed. "Mom, is that a… party?"
"No, sweetie," the mom whispered. "It's a problem."
Even Guide dimmed awkwardly."Player… perhaps we should enter quietly."
But it was too late.
The village chief, an older woman with eyebrows sharper than knives, marched straight toward us.
Behind her… was the entire population of the village.
Gloop elbowed me. "Smile. They love heroes."
"I'm not a hero," I whispered.
Guide corrected gently."To be fair, Player, they did see the sky explode."
The chief stopped in front of me.
Her eyes narrowed.
Her mouth was a thin line.
Then she said loudly:
"THERE HE IS! THE HERO WHO SAVED US FROM THE EVIL DUNGEON!"
My brain short-circuited. "I— who— what—"
The crowd erupted.
"THANK YOU!"
"YOU'RE AMAZING!"
"WE SAW THE LIGHT FROM MILES AWAY!"
Gloop whispered, "Told you."
The slimes began celebrating by bouncing around like sentient gummy bears.
The Wolf Puppy rolled in the dirt, proud of itself.
The Forest Horror simply stared at everyone, which made several villagers faint.
Before I could correct the misunderstanding, the chief threw her hands up.
"WE WILL HOLD A FEAST! BRING OUT THE DRUMS!"
The crowd cheered louder.
Oh no.
I Become the Center of Attention Against My Will
Five minutes later I was sitting on an improvised throne made of hay bales while villagers shoved food at me like I was a starving celebrity.
"Have some bread!"
"And stew!"
"And this weird drink that smells like sadness and mushrooms!"
"I'm okay—" I tried to say.
But no.
They fed me anyway.
Nearby, the slimes were happily soaking in a punch bowl like it was a hot tub.
Gloop was telling kids wildly exaggerated stories of my exploits.
"And THEN," he gestured dramatically, "The Player PUNCHED the Skeleton King SO HARD it exploded!"
I spit out my drink. "WHAT?! No I didn—"
The children gasped."WOW!"
Guide floated closer, whispering,"Technically… your head did contact its leg."
"That's not punching!"
"Your forehead impacted at speed."
"That's WORSE!"
Meanwhile, the Wolf Puppy was surrounded by villagers braiding tiny flowers into its fur. It loved it.
The Forest Horror stood stiffly behind my throne, looming protectively.
Villagers kept taking turns approaching it, patting its wooden leg, and leaving offerings of bread.
It did not understand what was happening.
Honestly? Same.
The Chief Sits Beside Me
"Hero," she said, sipping something that looked like swamp water. "We owe you our lives."
I panicked inside. "Please don't call me that—"
"Nonsense!" she waved. "Anyone who defeats a Skeleton King is a hero."
Guide whispered in my ear,"Player… statistically speaking, revealing the truth may cause panic."
"So you're saying I should keep lying?"
"You are not lying," Guide insisted. "They are simply mistaken in a beneficial way."
"That is literally the definition of lying!"
The chief placed a hand on my shoulder.
"We wish to grant you an honorary title."
Oh no.
"What… title?" I asked carefully.
She smiled proudly.
"The Legendary Defender of Leafwood Village!"
I buried my face in my hands.
Gloop fist-pumped. "We're famous!"
Announcement Time (Kill Me)
The crowd hushed as the chief pulled me to my feet.
"Everyone!" she shouted. "Our hero has words to say!"
No.No I do not.Please.I have no words.Turn off the words.
But everyone stared at me expectantly.
Guide whispered,"Player… just say something inspiring."
I cleared my throat.
Opened my mouth.
And said the worst possible thing:
"Uh… I'm just… really glad I didn't die."
The crowd gasped.
The chief nodded solemnly."That's the spirit of a true warrior."
The villagers clapped.
Someone started crying.
Gloop leaned over and whispered,"Bro, they LOVE you."
The Trouble Begins
It was at that moment —
right when things were finally calming down —
that someone screamed from the edge of the village:
"MONSTERS!!! MONSTERS ARE APPROACHING!!"
Everyone froze.
The chief turned to me.
"Hero… looks like your work isn't done."
I groaned internally.
Of course not.
The universe never gives me a break.
Behind me, my party assembled:
Gloop, cracking his knuckles The slimes, vibrating excitedly Wolf Puppy, growling adorably Forest Horror, looming like a nightmare Guide, glowing with urgency
I sighed.
"Fine. Let's go see what chaos wants THIS time."
And with that—
we ran toward the village gates.