Chapter 31: The Spell Without a Name
Okay, er, calm down, Tom! Maybe this one is screwed up! We'll find another one!
Jerry, help me!
Tom, calm down.
HOW THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO CALM DOWN?
Look, for all you know, it could be me.
What?
We forgot to account for me. You have a perfect memory. I don't. Hell, the reason why I haven't ever told you my "real" name yet is because I seriously don't remember what it is.
So you're saying that the red smoke that says I forgot something in spite of my perfect memory is actually you not remembering your own name.
Among other things.
Jerry, this is serious.
And I'm being serious. Remembralls just pick up anomalies in your memory pathways, which can either be generated by artificial rearrangement of stored information.
And you know what else causes anomalies inside your brain? An entire alter ego wedging itself in there.
You sure?
Positive. Look – why don't you just – ignore this, for now. I'm sorry I got you that idea. When we learn Legilimency, we can – I don't know, Legilimize ourselves in the mirror, and then you can dig through your own memories personally.
Can you do that?
The standard Obliviate isn't like the mind-control spell we're trying to do, right? It only suppresses memories. It doesn't wipe them.
Okay. Fine. Fine. I understand.
…But Jerry?
What?
What if I've actually been mind-wiped?
Then we'll find that memory.
…And maybe we'll find some of mine, too.
All right. We'll…piece your memories back. And then we'll do this Remembrall thing again. And then…what if it's still red?...
We'll burn that bridge when we get there.
…So, do we need to go on some magical quest to piece your memories back together?
I think I'll be fine doing it myself. You'll notice that I'm remembering a lot more things about the magical world than when you were one. If I need anything I'll let you know.
If that goddamned thing is still red when you say you're done, I'll kill you.
Riiight.
Spurred with a new purpose, Tom had managed to perfect his personal mind-control spell by the end of the year.
And, despite Jerry's pleading, he absolutely refused to refer to it with Jerry's supposedly brilliant dubbing, Conperviate, on the grounds that it sounded absolutely ridiculous. Also, because he was getting a little bit of revenge on Jerry for calling all of the other names he had come up with stupid as well.
Look – we need a way to distinguish it from the other three known spells! Confundo, for a subtle manipulation that allowed the user to still act like themselves, Imperio, for those moments when you needed absolute control immediately, and Obliviate, so no one would suspect that they had ever been under any external mental influence. It makes perfect sense!
…It's a stupid name.
Well, what do you suggest?
…I don't know, but it's stupid all the same.
Tom still wasn't sure how the Ministry would react to an unregistered spell, but he didn't want to find out.
Just because there was no written law against it didn't mean that the mass of doddering old conservatives wouldn't act all offended and appalled, anyway.
Not so much against the magic itself, but against the atrocity that a little first-year half-blood kid with no magical parents to teach him might be still smarter than they were, pre-established advantages and all.
Although, come to think of it, not having an actual formal rule against random spell creation, while good for him, was also stupid. Really.
There were laws requiring Animagi to register themselves, but there was nothing against people just randomly inventing potentially much more hazardous things, like, say, an entirely new, untraceable, ultra-powerful mind-control spell that didn't even have a name or incantation!
Well, there were – but the creators didn't have to publish any new spells until they were complete, so theoretically, anyone could just create anything and claim that all of the unwelcome aspects of the spell were simply mistakes that they were trying to fix. Only, Tom wasn't sure how he'd be able to spin the existence of a mind-control spell of such depth in his favor…
Hmmm…
"Excuse me, honorable Wizengamot people, but I was actually trying to make a spell that could help people regain lost memories. You know, like a Remembrall, but one that actually tells you what you're forgetting. It's just not working in the way I intended…"
You think that might fool them?
Hard to say. Some of the more close-minded people wouldn't believe that a half-blood would be capable of spell creation at second year…
I was actually talking more along the lines of Professor Dumbledore.
No. Absolutely not.
But he likes me!...right?
The point is, the man has had experience with being tricked, and will not hesitate to change his opinion of someone's true nature if proper evidence is presented before him.
We can't be that bad, right? I mean, it's just mind control. Wizards do it all the time. Confundo, Obliviate, the works.
They could make an argument against Imperio, since it is an Unforgivable Curse, but our mind-control spell doesn't work like Imperio, does it? And as long as we lie through our teeth and pretend that we haven't been practicing it on anyone else, just test objects, we can't get into trouble for being curious, right?...
Maybe. Look. I'm not a mind reader. You're not one, either – at least, not yet. And neither of us can predict the future. Professor Dumbledore might be forgiving. Or, he might not.
Why not?
Once upon a time, he liked Grindelwald, too, before the man ever became famous. It didn't end so well for him. As a result, he has always had a sharp eye on the lookout against any other potential Dark Lords.
Grindelwald…you mean the extremist in Germany right now? The one who's stupidly trying to take over the world with an ARMY of all things?
Yes. That one.
Huh.
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