T/N: I am FREE from the finals so I can finally resume posting chapters without stressing lol
"Jesse! Look quickly! Your relative!"
Elliot suddenly shivered, pointing into the distance
—a Wind Hilichurl Ranger stood alone on the hillside, gazing far away, seemingly contemplating Hilichurl life.
"Beat it!"
Jesse flew into a rage, kicking the foolishly grinning Elliot, sending him tumbling like a rolling gourd.
Yet his movements didn't stop. With lightning speed, he lunged forward. Before the dazed Hilichurl Ranger could react, he slammed it down with a single slap, like playing Whac-A-Mole. With a *poof*, its entire head was driven into the ground, leaving only two legs dangling helplessly outside.
"Done."
Jesse clapped his hands, wearing a righteous expression of "Cleaning up the house."
"Click!"
A distinct camera shutter sound abruptly rang out, accompanied by a female voice trembling with excitement: "Oh my goodness! Amazing! Shocking! 'Mondstadt Honorary Knight Brutally Kills Local Monster: Is It Moral Degradation or Intragroup Competition?' This headline is definitely front-page news!"
Everyone snapped their heads around. They saw a pink-haired girl practically catapult out of the bushes, a massive camera hanging from his chest, his eyes shining as if he had discovered treasure.
"Wait a moment, everyone! You absolutely must accept my interview!"
He rushed in front of them at a speed comparable to anemo element Swirl, nearly crashing into the Wolf King's cold armor.
"You are the legendary Mondstadt Honorary Knights, correct? Oh my! You look even more... special in person than the rumors suggest! I am Charlotte, a Reporter for The Steambird! It's a pleasure to meet you! May I ask what the purpose of your recent action was? Was it dissatisfaction with your own kind, or some new form of cultivation? Does the gentleman planted in the ground require assistance?"
His speaking speed was so fast it was like reciting a Patter routine, finishing without taking a breath, leaving everyone dumbfounded.
The Wolf King silently moved its enormous body, blocking Charlotte and its four troublesome masters like a silver-white wall. It bowed slightly and elegantly: "Miss Charlotte, please calm down first. Your enthusiasm... hmm... is quite impactful."
"Ah? Oh! Right! I'm sorry!"
Charlotte only then took half a step back, but the excitement on his face hadn't faded at all. He quickly adjusted the camera lens and aimed it fiercely at the Wolf King.
"Ahem! Excuse me, are you the robotic Wolf King, known for both brains and brawn, code-named 'Barbatos Imperial Sirius Model,' created by the four genius Hilichurl Honorary Knights? The Steambird readers are very curious about you!"
The Wolf King's Electronic eyes flickered, and after a moment of silence, it reluctantly nodded.
The Metallic tail behind him unconsciously swished slightly.
"That's fantastic!"
Charlotte was practically jumping for joy.
"According to insider reports, you are not only a powerful combat unit but also the omnipotent Steward of the entire team! You are responsible for the team's daily life, itinerary planning, conflict resolution, and even include, but are not limited to, preventing Mr. Er Kang from approaching the kitchen, trimming Mr. Matt's nails, helping Mr. Zane find his thunder hammer hidden by Mr. Er Kang, and conducting risk assessments and cleanup for Mr. Jesse's 'brilliant' ideas. You are truly the most reliable Stabilizing force in the team. Is this true?"
The Wolf King's shaking tail instantly froze in mid-air.
His cold Sensor gaze slowly moved, his peripheral vision sweeping across the side:
Elliot was playing with the Hilichurl Ranger's Throwing knife he had just dug out of the ground;
Jesse was drawing a mustache on the dizzy Hilichurl Ranger;
Mr. Zane's thunder hammer was already starting to faintly spark with arcs of electricity;
Matt was earnestly trying to straighten the sapling that Elliot had kicked crooked;
While Lumine and Paimon, one held her forehead and the other covered her eyes, shaking their heads with 100% synchronization.
A nearly inaudible sigh seemed to emanate from deep within the Wolf King's Processor core.
He finally, heavily, nodded again.
"Perfect!"
Charlotte quickly recorded the information.
"I've already figured out the headline! 'Iron Fist and Gentleness: Unveiling the Man
—er, Robot Wolf
—Behind the Honorary Knights Team Who Carries Everything!'"
"...May I ask why you appeared in this Remote wilderness?"
The Wolf King leaned slightly, its Azure electronic eyes fixed on Charlotte, its smooth Mechanical voice carrying a hint of imperceptible confusion.
"According to my Navigation system, this location is at least fifty kilometers from Fontaine. The probability of a Reporter appearing here alone... is less than Three percent. Have you encountered any trouble?"
"Uh... about that..."
Hearing this, the excited expression on Charlotte's face instantly became a little awkward. He scratched his cheek, his gaze wandering.
"Actually... I wanted to come out here for Field research, to see if I could capture some unique Natural scenery or... uh... Rare creatures, and write an eye-catching report."
His voice grew softer as he spoke: "It turned out that as soon as I found a good Shooting location, I alerted a group of Hilichurls... They chased me all the way from the Small river valley over there to here, and I almost lost my Film... ah, no, my Memory card!"
He awkwardly shook the camera in his hand.
"Hilichurls? Are they that group?"
Paimon flew up a bit, her small hand pointing toward a hillside behind and to the side of the group.
Following the direction she pointed, everyone saw a group of Hilichurls noisily rushing down the hillside. Leading them was a Hydro Hilichurl Ranger holding a Scythe and wearing a Feathered crown, followed by several Hilichurl thugs wielding wooden clubs, shouting "Ya!" and "Odomu!" They were clearly heading toward them.
"Yo, Elliot, your relatives are here to catch up."
Jesse nudged Elliot with his elbow, displaying a Mischievous grin of someone who enjoys drama.
"Good, good, good! Perfect timing!"
Elliot was not angry but delighted. Under Charlotte's dumbfounded gaze, he suddenly pulled out an extremely exaggerated, water-blue glowing... Gatling gun from behind him!
Multiple Barrels glistened dangerously in the sunlight.
"Let you country bumpkin distant relatives witness the perfect combination of Fontaine technology and Teyvat elemental power! Feel the love from the Bloodline suppression... ah, ptooey, I mean, the Water flow suppression!"
As soon as he finished speaking, Elliot pulled the Trigger.
The Hydro element Gatling instantly emitted a low, powerful hum, and several Barrels spun rapidly!
The next second.
"POOM BOOM BOOM BOOM
—!!!"
It wasn't just water flow; it was a Metallic storm composed of High-pressure water cannons!
An incredibly thick, continuous Torrent savagely blasted out, accurately (or perhaps not so accurately) hitting the ground not far in front of the Hilichurl group, splashing mud and water three meters high!
The group of Hilichurls clearly had never seen such a Spectacle. Their charge instantly froze, and the leading Hilichurl Ranger blinked blankly, dropping the Scythe in its hand.
However, Elliot didn't stop. He slightly lifted the Muzzle, and the raging Torrent instantly swept through the entire Hilichurl squad.
"Ya
—!!! (Terrified)"
"Odomu
—!! (Blown away)"
Without a chance to resist, the poor Hilichurls, along with their crude weapons, were swept away by the ridiculous Torrent like leaves carried by a flood. Screaming, they turned into a string of black dots on the horizon, vanishing in the direction they came from.
Faintly, a few distant wails of "Waaah!" could still be heard.
"Done! It's quiet now!"
Elliot swaggered as he ceased fire, hefting the Gatling gun, which was still dripping water and steaming, heavily onto the ground. He smugly tossed his non-existent bangs.
The scene fell silent.
Only the faint *pat* of Charlotte's camera Lens cap hitting the ground could be heard.
His mouth hung open. He looked at the empty hillside in the distance, then at the Extremely sci-fi looking weapon of mass destruction on Elliot's shoulder, and finally quickly wrote down in his Notebook:
"'Shocking! Honorary Knight Uses Mass Hydro Suppression on Suspected Relatives! A Dual Interrogation of Ethics and Strength!'... Uh, or maybe 'New Ideas for Fontaine Water Conservancy Engineering? On the Application Prospects of High-pressure water cannons in the Field of Monster Extermination'?"