The air between them was thicker than the fog over the Brooklyn Bridge. Marshall felt his heartbeat in his ears like a war drum marking the start of a battle he wasn't prepared to win. Lily looked at him, her eyes scanning his clothes and rigid posture.
"How are you?" Lily said, breaking the silence. Her voice was tentative.
"What are you doing here?"
"In New York, you mean." Lily fiddled with the zipper of her coat. "The program... ended. It was..." She swallowed. The mask of absolute happiness she had shown to Ted and Robin was cracking there on the sidewalk in front of him. "It was a mistake. A huge mistake."
Marshall didn't feel vindicated or happy to be right, or to see her as he had longed for during months. Instead, he felt tired. Barney's words echoed: everyone is looking out for themselves. Is that what Lily had done? Sought her own without caring about the cost of destroying him?
"It was the worst summer of my life," Marshall finally declared with a simplicity that belied the weight of that statement, loaded with all his pain.
"Mine too," whispered Lily. "I'm sorry, Marshall. I'm so sorry. It was the hardest thing I've ever had to do." She took a breath, gathering courage. "Can we... please... get back together?"
And there it was—a question that had spun in his mind since she left. The fantasy that kept him afloat in the first days, which he had later learned to drown to avoid going crazy. Before the first theft by Barney, his answer would have been an immediate yes, followed by an embrace. It was his nature—the Marshall that Alyx cared for.
But this Marshall had spent the night looking for a piece of paper on a dirty street. He had heard Barney's philosophy of sweets and post-apocalyptic truths, which had ended up hardening something deep within him.
He looked at Lily with her eyes full of hope and remorse. For the first time, he didn't just see the woman he loved, but also the person who had abandoned him in the midst of their shared dreams and planned life together. And he saw the truth in Barney's words: to survive was to look out for oneself.
"Lily," he said, his voice surprisingly serene. "That speech you gave me... about needing to figure out who we were outside of us... about learning to do things alone..." He paused, letting the pain of that memory envelop them both. "Three months ago, you broke my heart."
Lily lowered her gaze, defeated.
"But you were right," Marshall continued, and though the words were bitter in his mouth, they came out. "All that nonsense was correct. So no. We can't go back. We shouldn't." He made a slight pause and added more softly, "At least... not now."
The silence that followed was absolute. The world didn't end. Only the slow, devastating acceptance in Lily's eyes. "Wow," she murmured. "Okay."
"And... will we still see each other?" Lily asked, her voice trembling.
"Yes, I think so," said Marshall.
A familiar, sad smile appeared on Lily's lips. "I like your hair," Marshall added more jovially.
"Thanks. You know, I thought new city... different color," Lily said, feeling the absurdity of the conversation. "And the pizza there... the worst pizza in the world."
"I'm so glad to be back in New York," Lily confessed. For a moment, it was as if the pain, regret, and sorrow were suspended, giving way to normality, leaving only two people who missed each other.
"Listen," said Lily, taking a step closer. "If there's anything I can do to start making it up to you, anything..."
Marshall looked at her. In her eyes, he saw the door closing forever on an era of his life.
"Actually, there might be something you could do for me," he said, and his tone had a hint of the old Marshall, but with a new firmness. "But never. Ever. Can you ask me why."
Lily nodded—a tacit promise.
And, almost comically, Lily went into the bar where Barney and the twins were at the table.
"Lily?" Barney asked, surprised to see her.
"You gave me chlamydia, you jerk," she said angrily, taking the glass from the table and throwing the drink in his face. Then she just left.
Barney, trying to save his hookup, wiped his eyes and said, "What was that? That was the manager. I can't believe it, I keep saying..." He was cut off when Lily entered again, now with her hair tied up and a beret cap on.
"You gave my twin sister chlamydia, you jerk," she said again, taking the other twin's glass and throwing the liquid in Barney's face once more. And she left without another word.
Again, Barney was about to start his monologue about being the manager. But the twins didn't buy it and left.
"Well played, Eriksen. Well played," Barney finally said, left alone at the table.
Alyx's Perspective
While that scene laden with past and future unfolded on the sidewalk, in the apartment, Alyx wasn't busy taking care of Marshall, nor had she gone to her classes.
She had returned to see the small apartment she had secretly visited—the one with morning natural light and its own balcony. That day, she met with the manager, a quiet older man. With him, she agreed and paid the first month's rent along with her deposit and signed the initial lease contract for 3 months.
Upon returning to the apartment she shared with Marshall and the shadow of Lily, now at night, she didn't turn on the light. She just sat on the sofa in the darkness, listening to the distant hum of cars moving through the city.
In that silence, she wasn't waiting for Marshall. She was merely existing in her own space with her decisions. When she heard the key in the lock much later, she saw Marshall pass by towards his room. She barely gave a brief greeting, asking no questions, offering no comfort. She just turned off her computer, lay down on the sofa that would soon no longer be her bed, and closed her eyes. She drifted off with thoughts about the new changes tomorrow and the strange, painful process of letting someone you love learn to walk on their own, even if it means they get dirty walking the streets or get hurt—but on their own terms.
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