Moving day morning was cold, especially for Alyx after her confrontation with Lily. Still, she ignored the looks Ted and Robin gave her as they left the room. Ted's uncomfortable greeting with his gaze, as if he wanted to give his lessons about love and forgiveness, or Robin with her clear conflict in her eyes about whether to get involved to support her or mediate for Lily—all of it only made Alyx pack faster to leave the apartment without having to talk about her problems. To her surprise, although Marshall came out of his room with red eyes and a pained, sorrowful look directed at her, he was understanding and didn't bring up the topic when Alyx's reopened wound was so fresh and exposed.
So after breakfast, all that was left was to call a taxi (Marshall wanted to drive her, but his car was being repaired) for the few remaining things, since the previous afternoon she had already taken the heaviest and bulkiest items to her new apartment. The only things left were some mementos and items of sentimental value she had packed the night before into two boxes and a backpack.
Ted and Robin, who had returned late the previous night, found out that same day about the move and farewell, as they woke up to Alyx and Lily's argument. But like Marshall, they weren't able to go out and mediate, understanding it was Alyx's moment to express her pain to Lily. Still, because they hadn't been there for her the day before, they were filled with remorse and dedicated themselves to helping silently, each carrying a box to the waiting taxi downstairs. The atmosphere was thick with silence and discomfort.
Because the rock they could rely on for strength with her constant, calming presence was leaving. And they realized too late how much they depended on the calm she brought.
Barney appeared at the building door early, unaware of Alyx and Lily's confrontation.
He started with his phrase of the day.
"So the house ghost materializes and moves out? What a plot twist I didn't see coming. It seemed like you were already a spectral part of the living room. So, this new apartment is near good bars for picking up women while single, right? That's vital information."
"No, Barney," Alyx said patiently, unable to avoid the small smile tugging at her lips from Barney's comments.
"What a shame. But if you need lessons on being a single woman who enjoys hunting and taking her prey to bed, I have my hourly rate, of course, it could be discounted if…" he was about to continue with a more perverted smile for his clear insinuation.
"Barney," Marshall interrupted with a warning tone.
Barney raised his hands. "Just saying, it's a time for being single, and well…" he said, raising his eyebrows. "But anyway, we'll miss that mysterious, measured touch you gave the place."
It was the closest thing to an "I'll miss you" that would come from his mouth. Alyx understood and shared the feeling, acknowledging his words with a slight nod in his direction.
When the time came, with her things in the arms of Ted and Robin, her backpack held by Marshall, Alyx turned back to the apartment. She briefly looked from the living room to Marshall's room (which she had shared with him and Lily for several years), now without her clothes, shoes, accessories, or Lily's. The bathroom without her toiletries. The kitchen without some pots and utensils. And the living room without her blanket folded on the sofa, without her desk and computer. But beyond all those objects, she remembered that in the backpack Marshall was holding, there was that old sketchbook that belonged to Lily—now hers, every page filled—the silver earring of Lily, and the Polaroid of the three of them together she had kept with an old scarf of Lily's.
With everything inventoried in her mind, she left the living room and the apartment. Back outside the building, Ted, Robin, and Barney were there, forming an awkward group.
"I'll be just a call away," said Alyx. "And the bar is still our bar. Just… I'll go less."
"This is weird," said Robin honestly. "But… I wish you the best, Alyx. Really."
Ted nodded at his girlfriend's words. "Yeah, and if the new building is haunted or something, you know, we'll be here," he said, trying to give Alyx an escape to come back, even if for an absurd reason.
Alyx understood Ted's clear suggestion but didn't say anything. She just approached each one and hugged them briefly—for Barney, a quick squeeze; for Robin, a stronger, silent, heartfelt hug between two people who don't express their emotions very well; with Ted, it was strong but more melancholic for the shared time that had passed.
Finally, she stood in front of Marshall, who was holding her backpack tightly by the straps.
"Ready?" he asked.
"Ready."
Barney, Ted, and Robin gave them symbolic space, heading back into the building and leaving them alone. In silence, they loaded the boxes into the taxi trunk, and Alyx placed the backpack on the back seat. She turned to say goodbye when she saw Marshall's eyes were teary.
"Don't do that," Alyx said, her own voice thick. "You'll make me cry, and I have to arrive at the new place with dignity."
"Sorry," he said, laughing through a sob. "It's just… it's the end of everything." He used the same phrase she had told Lily.
"It ended a while ago. We were just prolonging it. But it could be the beginning of something else, maybe even better… Hopefully." She corrected him and hugged him one last time. "Take care, Marshmallow."
"You too, A.L."
She got into the taxi, and when it started moving, she didn't look back. She couldn't, because she knew if she saw Marshall standing there watching her leave, her heart would break even more at leaving him—just as Lily had left them three months ago. She felt the emptiness, the fear, but also a spark of freedom to be herself without having to control herself so that the people she loves wouldn't leave.
That night in her new apartment, though she had clothes to unpack, her two new boxes, and her backpack—which she had unpacked immediately upon arrival to organize what mattered most—she decided this time not to turn on her reliable coffee maker. Instead, she went out to her balcony, lit a cigarette, and felt the new air full of possibilities lightly tousling her hair.
Then, from her coat pocket, she pulled out an envelope. She contemplated the silver earring and the finished sketchbook. With a decisive movement, she went to the kitchen cupboard and placed them in a dark corner. She wasn't throwing them away. She was archiving them.
Tomorrow she would buy a new notebook. Blank, for herself—to fill from scratch, like her new life.
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