7:15 a.m. – The Moment of Truth
The sun was already high. The line was enormous. The women were beginning to pack up their camps, preparing for the opening in 45 minutes. And then it happened.
A man in a suit, looking like a stressed-out executive, approached the car. He carried a coffee in his hand and had a "what am I doing here at this hour?" expression on his face.
He looked at the car, heard the beeping, and rolled his eyes.
"Yeah, yeah, I'm coming," he muttered, searching for his keys.
Robin was the first to see him.
"There he is," she whispered.
The word spread through the line like wildfire. "The owner."
Twenty women, led by Robin, Lily, and Alyx, rose silently. Each grabbed their projectile: eggs, tomatoes, Alyx's lemons.
The man opened the car door. The beeping stopped immediately.
Silence.
He smiled, relieved, sat down behind the wheel, and closed the door.
And then Robin shouted: "NOW!"
The barrage began.
Eggs flew through the air, smashing against the windshield. Tomatoes exploded against the windows. A lemon hit the hood with a solid, disappointing thud.
The man ducked inside the car, covering his head with his arms.
"WHAT THE HELL?!"
The women didn't answer. They just kept throwing.
In less than a minute, the car was unrecognizable. Egg yolk, tomato pulp, and a solitary lemon decorated every inch of the bodywork.
"RUN!" someone shouted.
And they all ran... back to their spots in line, as if nothing had happened.
The man got out of the car, covered in egg, with an expression of total disbelief.
"WHAT HAPPENED?! WHO DID THIS?!"
No one answered. Forty women looked at him with feigned innocence.
"Sir," said one of them, Brenda, with a sweet voice. "Your car has been beeping all night. It didn't let us sleep."
"And that justifies... THIS?" He pointed at his car, his clothes, his lost dignity.
"Yes," said Robin simply.
The man looked at her, wanted to say something, but couldn't. He just got back in his car, started it, and drove off, leaving a trail of egg yolk on the asphalt.
The line burst into applause.
Lily hugged Robin and Alyx. "We did it!"
"We did it," Alyx nodded. "And I have photos for Barney."
"You're a true friend."
8:00 a.m. – The Moment of Truth (the Other One)
The store doors opened. The women rushed in, but with surprising order. Those at the front first, those at the back after.
Lily was at position #12. Good enough.
Robin and Alyx followed her, though without much interest in the dresses.
"This is overwhelming," said Robin, looking at the rows and rows of white.
"It's like a sea of clouds," said Alyx. "Wedding clouds."
Lily was already in hunting mode. She touched fabrics, looked at labels, discarded designs with the speed of an expert.
"I need something with a sweetheart neckline, but not too deep, and with movement but not too princessy, and that—"
"Lily," Robin interrupted her. "Just say 'I want a pretty dress' and be done with it."
"I can't. It's my wedding."
"You haven't even tried any on yet."
Lily grabbed three dresses and headed to the fitting rooms. Before going in, she turned to them.
"Come with me."
"Into the fitting room?" asked Alyx.
"Yes. I need your opinions."
"But tradition says the bride shouldn't—" Robin started.
"Tradition? The tradition of the beeping car? That tradition?"
Robin smiled. "Good point."
All three entered the fitting room. A tiny space with mirrors everywhere and a curtain that didn't close all the way.
Lily tried on the first dress. Long, with lace, long sleeves.
"What do you think?"
"You look like a Victorian princess," said Robin. "If the Victorian princess were going to a wedding instead of a funeral."
"Too modest," Alyx agreed. "Next."
Second dress. Short, modern, with sheer panels.
"This is more Robin than Lily," said Alyx.
"Yeah, too bold. You look like you're going to a party, not getting married."
Third dress. Simple, elegant, with a small veil.
Lily looked at herself in the mirror and smiled.
"This one."
Robin and Alyx looked at her. Lily was radiant. Not because of the dress, but because of how she saw herself in it.
"It's perfect," said Robin.
"Completely perfect," Alyx agreed.
Lily hugged them, still wearing the dress, wrinkling it without a care.
"Thank you for everything. The night, the eggs, and for being here."
"Where else would we be?" said Robin.
"In our beds, sleeping like normal people."
"That sounds boring," said Alyx.
Lily laughed. Then she looked at her reflection in the mirror. The three of them together. She in the dress, Robin in her denim jacket, Alyx with her sketchbook in hand.
"You know what? This is going to be our tradition."
"What tradition?"
"The night before the wedding. The three of us together in some uncomfortable place, not sleeping, throwing things at cars that beep."
"And if there's no beeping car?" asked Robin.
"We'll find one."
Alyx smiled and noted in her sketchbook: Tradition established. Night before wedding = controlled chaos + agricultural projectiles.
Later, in Ted's Apartment
Lily entered with the dress in a huge bag. Marshall was waiting for her on the sofa.
"Did you get one?"
"The best one."
They hugged. Marshall kissed her.
"How was the night?"
Lily smiled. "Long. Noisy. Vengeful."
"Vengeful?"
"There's a car somewhere in Manhattan that will never smile again."
Marshall decided not to ask.
Robin and Alyx came in behind her, exhausted.
"I need to sleep for a week," said Robin.
"I need a lawyer in case the car owner sues us," said Alyx.
"But it was worth it," said Lily.
"Totally worth it," Robin agreed.
Ted appeared from the kitchen. "How was the camping trip?"
The three women looked at each other.
"Historic," said Alyx.
"Traumatic," said Robin.
"Perfect," said Lily.
Ted didn't understand anything but smiled anyway.
"I'm glad. And the dresses?"
"I got mine, and I discovered my fiancées are natural-born criminals," Marshall said in a joking tone.
"Criminals?" inquired Ted.
"Don't ask," said Robin and Alyx in unison.
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The car paid with eggs. Lily got the dress. And a tradition was born: controlled chaos + agricultural projectiles.
What did you think of the revenge? Deserved or too cruel?
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