The camera shutter clicked.
"Are you sure about this, Naruto?" the weary old photographer muttered, lowering his lens. His patience was worn thin,. "You really want your ninja profile picture taken… like this?"
Naruto Uzumaki stood proudly in front of the backdrop, his face streaked with bright red, black, and blue paint. The markings gave him the air of a mischievous warlord.
"Of course I do!" Naruto declared. "This makes me look cool and intimidating. Everyone will see this picture and know I'm no pushover!"
The old man sighed, raising the camera again.
"Well… don't blame me later."
Click. The photo was taken.
Naruto smirked. Perfect. The best ninja profile photo ever.
The Hokage building loomed over Hidden Leaf, a massive red structure at the village's heart. Shinobi bustled across its many floors, but at the very top sat the Third Hokage's office, sunlight streaming across piles of scrolls, maps, and mission reports.
Hiruzen Sarutobi studied the photograph in his hands. His weathered face was unreadable, sharp eyes flicking from the photo to the blond boy standing stubbornly in front of his desk.
"…Retake the photo," Hiruzen said calmly.
"No way!" Naruto shouted immediately. "I absolutely refuse to retake it! I worked hours on this masterpiece—it's perfect!"
"Hours…?" The Hokage sighed, setting the photo down. "Naruto, this is supposed to be your official ninja profile photo. A record for identification. As it is, no one could even tell it's you—"
Before he could finish, Naruto grinned mischievously. His hands flew into a seal.
"Fine then! Check this out Sexy Jutsu!"
A puff of smoke erupted. When it cleared, a gorgeous, naked young woman stood there, blonde hair cascading down her shoulders, curves accentuated.
Hiruzen's eyes bulged. His pipe nearly fell from his lips as his face turned bright red.
"W-W-What in the world—?! N-Naruto!"
The transformed Naruto leaned forward with a wink.
Hiruzen waved his arms frantically.
"Fine! Fine! You can keep the photo just never use that jutsu again!"
Naruto laughed triumphantly as the transformation dissipated in another puff of smoke.
The doors to the Hokage's office burst open.
"Old man Hokage!" shouted a young boy.
Hiruzen stiffened slightly. Another headache. My grandson.
A small, round-faced boy with a long scarf trailing behind him stomped inside. His eyes burned with determination.
"Konohamaru…" Hiruzen muttered.
"I'll defeat you and become the Fifth Hokage!" Konohamaru declared. He charged forward but immediately tripped and fell flat on his face.
"Ouch! That hurt…" he grumbled. He looked up sharply, pointing at Naruto.
"You! You tripped me!"
"What?! Don't blame me, you brat!" Naruto snapped.
"What did you call me?!" Konohamaru puffed his cheeks, ready to fight.
The door opened again, and a tall shinobi entered. Dark sunglasses hid his eyes, his voice rang with authority.
"What are you doing to the honorable grandson of the honorable Third Hokage?"
Naruto blinked. "Who the heck are you?"
"I am Ebisu," the man declared, pushing his glasses higher. "Elite tutor to the Hokage's grandson."
He turned to Konohamaru.
"Honorable grandson, you mustn't dirty yourself by associating with ruffians like this boy. You are destined for greatness, to become Hokage like your great, honorable grandfather."
Konohamaru smirked smugly.
"See? Now you know who I am. You won't dare touch me."
Naruto cracked his knuckles.
"I don't care if the Third Hokage is your grandfather."
With that, he slugged Konohamaru squarely on the head.
"Gaaah!" Konohamaru cried, toppling backward.
Ebisu gasped, voice sharp.
"Why, you—! It's him, that mon—"
"Watch your tongue, Ebisu," Hiruzen interrupted sharply, gaze fierce, voice commanding.
Ebisu froze, swallowed his words, and quickly bowed.
"Forgive me, oh great and honorable Hokage…"
Still, he turned stiffly to Konohamaru.
"Come, honorable grandson. Ignore this boy. Focus only on the lessons of your extraordinary, powerful sensei—me."
But when he turned around, Konohamaru was gone.
"…Huh? Where's the honorable grandson?"
Hiruzen puffed his pipe calmly.
"No clue. But I did notice him sneaking after Naruto."
"What?!" Ebisu gasped. "Following him?! Oh no!" He darted out the door in panic.
Hiruzen chuckled softly, though a trace of weariness lingered in his eyes. So disciplined already, eh? That's the fourteenth sneak attack today…
Outside, Naruto strolled casually, feeling a clumsy presence trailing him. He smirked.
"I know you're following me."
Konohamaru popped out from behind a post.
"Wow! So you really are as good as they say!" His eyes sparkled. "Please, make me your student!"
Naruto frowned.
"Why would I do that?"
"Boss, please!" Konohamaru begged. "Teach me the jutsu you used on Grandfather—the one where you transformed!"
"You saw that?" Naruto asked in shock.
"Yeah! I peeked through the door!"
Naruto rubbed the back of his head.
"Well, fine. But you gotta call me sensei."
Konohamaru saluted.
"Of course, Boss! You're already better than my last sensei. He's so annoying!"
Naruto smirked.
"Alright, let's see what you got. You know what chakra is, right?"
"Yeah, I know chakra," Konohamaru replied proudly. "It's the energy inside all living things. You release it with hand seals to create a jutsu. Jutsu are ranked by difficulty and power: E, D, C, B, A, and S. E is the easiest, S is the hardest."
Naruto blinked.
"Wow… that was actually really well said."
Konohamaru nodded.
"Exactly. And what I'll teach you is the Sexy Jutsu a variation of the Transformation Jutsu. That's an E-rank. Easy stuff."
He pointed at a woman in a purple robe nearby.
"Okay, transform into her."
Konohamaru puffed his cheeks, formed a seal, and transformed into a plumper, distorted version of the woman.
Naruto sweat-dropped.
"…Kinda looks like her."
The woman turned, saw the imitation, and immediately beat Naruto into the ground.
"Ow, ow, ow! Why me?" Naruto wailed.
Konohamaru dragged him away.
"It's because I'm the grandson!"
"That was a failure. Come with me you need to learn female beauty!" Naruto said.
The boys sneaked into a bookstore called The Best Books Around. Naruto crouched and pointed at a magazine filled with glamorous women.
"See? This is how it's done."
The shopkeeper stormed over.
"This ain't no library!" He booted both boys into the street.
Undeterred, Naruto smirked.
"Alright, next stop—the women's bathhouse!"
He transformed into a female version of himself, while Konohamaru tried again, becoming another fat girl. Together, they slipped inside.
"There! It's that demon again!" one of the women shrieked.
Gasps and whispers filled the air.
"Why is the Hokage's grandson hanging around him?"
"Doesn't matter let's teach that monster a lesson!"
The women swarmed Naruto, pummeling him with fists and brooms until he was thrown outside, battered.
"Why… did they only hit me again, damn it?" Naruto groaned.
Konohamaru looked down.
"It's my fault… they won't hit me because I'm the Third Hokage's grandson. It's always like this."
Naruto sat up and smirked.
"Don't worry about it. All you need is practice."
Hours later, Konohamaru tried transformation after transformation: a fat lady, a rail-thin one, and other oddly shaped versions.
"No, curvier! No, slimmer! No more attractive!" Naruto barked. Each attempt ended in failure.
Meanwhile, on the Hokage's rooftop, Iruka approached Hiruzen.
"Lord Hokage, did Naruto retake his photo?"
Hiruzen shook his head.
"No, he didn't."
Iruka frowned.
"He was so excited yesterday at Ichiraku Ramen… he said that as a genin, people would finally start respecting him."
Hiruzen's gaze softened.
"I don't believe people's minds can change so easily. Many still fear the Nine-Tails may break free of the seal. Some think Naruto is harboring it. Others foolishly think he is the Nine-Tails. No words can change their hatred.
But… the younger generation doesn't know of the attack's horrors. Their parents' reactions shape them. That is why I forbade anyone from mistreating Naruto, so he could grow normally.
The Fourth Hokage wanted Naruto to be seen as a hero, the savior who saved the village. Sadly, only a few view him that way."
Iruka lowered his head.
"In truth, he is a hero. Without him, the Nine-Tails would have killed more… more children would have lost their parents. Like me."
Hiruzen nodded.
"Exactly right. And… you saw his eyes the other day?"
"Yes," Iruka said softly. "I saw the red eyes and whiskers. I'm certain."
"That means," Hiruzen said, "that even in trauma, only a tiny amount of the fox's chakra leaks out. That is… reassuring. But don't let Naruto know. If he grows too comfortable with that power, he may rely on it in every battle."
Back in the woods, Ebisu dashed furiously until he spotted them.
"There you are, honorable grandson… and you." His cold gaze pierced Naruto. That Nine-Tails brat is corrupting my student.
"Come back, honorable grandson," Ebisu ordered. "Let's return to the Sarutobi household. I'll teach you virtue and respect."
"No way!" Konohamaru shouted. He puffed his cheeks and cried, "Sexy Jutsu!"
Smoke cleared to reveal a beautiful black-haired naked woman.
Ebisu flushed.
"O-Oh no! Honorable grandson, that's not an honorable technique!"
Konohamaru gasped.
"It didn't work on him!"
Naruto stepped forward.
"Listen. He's a jōnin."
Ebisu adjusted his glasses smugly.
"Indeed. A hundred of your pitiful clones wouldn't be enough to defeat me."
Naruto smirked.
"Then let's try this. Shadow Clone Jutsu!"
Seven Narutos popped into existence.
"Child's play!" Ebisu scoffed.
Naruto grinned.
"Sexy Jutsu!"
In an instant, the clones transformed into beautiful nude women. Together, they leapt at Ebisu, wrapping around him, giggling as they pressed against him.
Ebisu's face turned crimson. He sputtered incoherently, body frozen. Then—with a strangled sound—he collapsed to the ground, fainted cold.
"Victory!" Naruto shouted.
"That was my Harem Jutsu—a combination of Shadow Clone and Sexy Jutsu. That's what you call a combination jutsu: once you combine two jutsu, you create a new one."
Konohamaru's jaw dropped.
"Damn it… if I can't even beat my stupid teacher, how can I ever be Hokage?"
Naruto looked at him seriously.
"Don't be dumb. Being Hokage isn't easy. You have to be the greatest ninja in the village. You need everyone to believe in you.
Look at me people ignore me, some even hate me. But I keep moving forward. As long as one person believes in me, I'll keep pushing forward… until I reach my dream of becoming Hokage."
Konohamaru's eyes widened in awe.
"Naruto… you really are amazing."
He clenched his fists.
"Naruto you're no longer my sensei. From now on, you're my rival!"
Naruto blinked, then smirked.
"Another rival, huh? Sasuke would be jealous. Alright then," he said with a grin. "We'll be rivals. And one day… we'll fight for the title of Hokage."
Konohamaru straightened proudly and saluted Naruto with respect.
"Yes, Boss!"
Naruto smiled, watching him go. For the first time that day, he felt a strange warmth in his chest.