The first thing that hit Ryan was the aggressive white light, followed by the unpleasant smell of drugs and injections, the kind that stuck on one's nose. His head ached, and his vision swam with blurry shapes and movement. For a long moment in that haze, he couldn't tell where he was. He kept still as a figure moved into view, a nurse in a neat blue uniform leaned beside him, checking his pulse. And behind her was Adrian Val, standing and watching silently
"Hey," Ryan mumbled, his throat felt dry, words rasping over each other. He swallowed, coughing lightly. "Th-thank you."
Adrian said nothing, his head bending slightly to the side with dark observing eyes. The silence was heavy, yet not unkind.
The nurse kept at it, hovering over him, asking the usual questions, making him sip water, telling him to lie still as Ryan's mind floated, trying to remember what had happened.
He recalled in flashes, leaving Dr. Mensah's office, palms damp, chest tight, legs shaking. The sunlight glowing through the hallway windows glaring like it was mocking him. Then the blur, the floor rushing up, the tiles hard against his skin, arms scooping him up without thought. Adrian. He remembered the brief impression of how calm he looked, the silent strength that seemed to exist without effort. And then black.
Ryan's stomach clenched with embarrassment, hitting him with full force. He had always been the one to push through, to manage, to survive. He had never been the one to collapse in front of anyone, and certainly not in front of Adrian Val.
Adrian drew back slightly, as if sensing Ryan's attention. "Now I'm sure you're okay," he said finally, his voice low. "I should get going."
Something about the way he said it, casual and distant, was disturbing. And the thought of Adrian leaving felt intolerable. Without pausing to think, he reached up and tugged at the hem of Adrian's shirt. That motion was hesitant, embarrassing, but not enough to stop him.
Adrian's brow lifted slightly with a faintest hint of curiosity in his eyes. He said nothing nor moved an inch. He just waited.
Ryan's heart raced. His thoughts were scattered all over his headspace. Confusion. Anxiety. He was well aware of who he was before him. Someone from an entirely different world, someone considered perfect. And now he had to force those words out.
"I… I need help," he said finally, his voice barely above a whisper. "I… can't do this alone. Can you… tutor me?"
Those words sat there for a moment, waiting to be answered.
Adrian didn't move or blink. He just stared down at him with unreadable eyes, and a long last silence.
Ryan pressed him lip together, waiting, with his eyes still on Adrian yet unable to read him. He had no clue what Adrian was thinking, and that only made him more nervous.
The nurse had left quietly after leaving a few papers and prescriptions on the bedside table, and a list of instructions. She had warned him about rest, hydration, and meals he was clearly skipping, but once she was gone, it was just the two of them, Ryan and the presence of Adrian Val.
Ryan shifted, slowly pulling himself into a sitting position and through all that, Adrian's gaze stayed suffocatingly locked on him. Every time Ryan dared to lift his eyes, he felt himself trembling within, and his thoughts breaking into pieces. It was at that moment that he knew for sure he would lose in a staring contest with this man.
His words started coming out before he even thought about them. They sounded nervous, jumbled, almost incoherent. "I... I don't know where to start. I mean, I've tried on my own, I really have. I... um, my GPA… I just can't seem to catch up. I've been working, I know it's not ideal, and I'm behind, obviously, but I swear I'll.... I'll put in the hours, I'll study extra, I just… I don't want to fail. I can't fail. And I... please, I just… I need someone who knows this stuff, and I… I can follow your instructions. I will. I just… please…"
He paused, cheeks burning red, chest heaving up and down, because in that second, he realized he was spilling his entire thoughts, his entire history, into the air between them. Adrian was just watching with an expression that had no judgement.
It was just nothing. Nothing he could hold onto to calm himself down.
And then, finally, Adrian spoke. "Do you think you can afford it?"
Ryan blinked. His mouth went dry as he couldn't process whether Adrian was asking about money, time, or the effort. "Uh… I… I mean, I'll... whatever it is you mean, I can… I think I can manage," he stammered.
"Forget it," Adrian said sharply. "Just go get yourself another tutor."
He turned on his heel and walked toward the door, leaving Ryan completely dumbfounded.
He just sat there, staring at the door as it closed behind him. The fact that he had begged, exposed every insecurity, and yet Adrian had brushed it off like it was nothing, surged shame he had been trying to contain
And even at that… something inside him didn't give up. The disappointment, the shame, the frustration, all mixed into a stubborn, burning determination. He wouldn't let this be the end. He just couldn't. And would find every means possible to convince Adrian. Somehow.
_____________________
That evening, he was discharged and headed back to his hostel room, with Adrian still occupying an uncomfortable, throbbing space in his head. Ethan was lounging on his bed, headset off, and eyes looking unusually alert.
"Where've you been since lectures were over? I know you don't have a shift today, and you've been MIA," he asked, tilting his head.
Ryan slumped onto his bed, running a hand through his hair. "I… fainted," he admitted quietly.
Ethan froze. "Wait, what? You fainted? How?"
Ryan told him everything. The scolding at Dr. Mensah's office, his legs giving up, the world blurring, the floor gradually getting too close. How Adrian had caught him, carried him to the clinic, stayed until he woke, and how he finally asked Adrian to tutor him.
Ethan's mouth fell open, shut and then curved into a wide grin. "Hold on. Wait. The Adrian I know ran with you in his arms and stayed until you woke? And you actually had a conversation with him?"
Ryan's face burned with red. "I didn't say much. I just…"
Ethan shook his head in disbelief. "Bro, this is insane. You were that close to Adrian Val. And he engaged with you, stayed there, watched you, didn't just walk off immediately. Wow," he ranted on, gesturing with his fingers.
Then his expression shifted to confusion. "But… he dismissed you? Asked if you could afford it and left? That's really out of character. Did you say something wrong? Like offending him by accident or something?"
Ryan shook his head. "Nah… I tried to be as careful as possible. I mean, I stammered, embarrassed myself probably, but I didn't offend him. He just… left."
Ethan leaned back with a thoughtful frown on his face. "Umm, That's kinda weird. But anyways… you still want to speak to him again, right?"
Ryan nodded firmly. "Yes. I need to. He's the only one who can help me pass this semester." He added, "As I hate to admit it, the dude's the only option I've got."
Ethan scoffed. "Now you've realized he's the only one who can help you, huh? What happened to the 'I don't need anyone like him'?"
"You're helping me or not?" Ryan snapped, annoyed and embarrassed. He hated the situation, but he had no choice.
Ethan grinned, tapping his fingers on the bedframe. "Okay, um.... Good. Here's how it will go. First, we scope him out. We find out where he hangs out and when he's free. The approach should be smart, precise, serious, but not desperate. You should be able to make him see you're committed."
Ryan exhaled. "I can do that. I should be able to do that much."
Ethan's eyes lit up. "Also, come to basketball training this weekend, in the evening. Not for the skill, though. You just need to show up, and you might get the chance to cross paths with Adrian."
"Basketball?" Ryan raised an eyebrow. "You of all people should know I'm terrible..."
"It doesn't matter at all" Ethan cut him off. "All you need is just to be seen while being strategic about it. That's the plan."
Ryan leaned back, thoughts a mess though sharper than before. And for that moment, he felt sure of himself.
_____________________
Then came Saturday evening, the court was filled with stumps caused by sneakers and the bounce of balls. And half of the men there were shirtless. Ryan kept walking up and down, near the benches. His backpack hung on one shoulder while he pretended to scroll through his phone. He hadn't played basketball for quite awhile and the thought of doing anything on the court wasn't something he felt uncomfortable with.
Ethan was there too, at a corner, laughing with other players. He waved at Ryan upon sighting him. "Hey, remember what you're here for. You don't need to impress anyone, only make yourself seen, okay?" he reminded.
Ryan couldn't tell if Adrian noticed him in any way. Maybe did, or maybe didn't. It was impossible to know, as Adrian wasn't the type to look at someone he didn't really care about, and there was no reason for Ryan to expect a different treatment.
Ryan just kept himself moving, touching the ball awkwardly, acting like he knew what he was doing. While every time Adrian made a smooth shot, his interest piqued with a mix of admiration and frustration tingling somewhere inside of him.
By the time practice ended, the gym's noise grew into the distance, as the tired players walked towards the exit. That was when it hit him, he hadn't done anything at all.
All he did was stand there and watch, and wasn't even sure Adrian remembered their earlier encounter in the clinic.
Immediately sighting Adrian stride towards the locker room, Ryan followed closely behind without thinking. With just a voice within telling him not to let that evening go by without at least doing something. Maybe it was hope, or maybe it was just him being stubborn. Whichever one it was, he moved after Adrian, his steps silent and careful not to get caught, and his heart beating now and then.
The locker room door was up ahead, quiet and empty. A knot formed in his stomach. What would he say if he could even manage to speak at all? But the moment felt critical, too critical to turn back now.
Ryan hesitated just outside the locker room. His heart pounding in his chest, and with one last motivation, he took a deep breath and stepped in.
"Uh… hey."
Adrian paused, eyes narrowing as if he were trying to recall Ryan from somewhere in his memory. "Do I… know you?" His voice was calm, but the faint look of recognition was quickly suppressed, sending a shiver through Ryan.
"I… we met at the clinic the other day," Ryan began, his voice tensed up. "You… you carried me when I fainted, and… I asked if you could tutor me."
Adrian stared, scanning Ryan as if weighing how absurd the request felt.
"I gave it some thought," Ryan continued, trying to steady his voice despite the pounding in his ears, "and maybe if you could just tell me your fee, I'll try to meet it. I really want to pass this semester."
Adrian's lips twitched, letting out a scoff, with what could have been amusement or disdain.
"You? Meet up to it? You think you can even get ten percent? You look like you struggle to get basic textbooks, and you think you can afford the knowledge I acquired through expensive textbooks, study academies, private tutoring, and one hundred percent attendance at lectures. Not to mention the time I'd have to waste on you. Do you really think I'd give that up for your pennies, huh?"
That instantly made whatever motivation Ryan had completely vanish. His mouth opened to protest, but no words came.
Adrian ran a hand through his damp hair, exhaling in frustration. "Don't even dream of it," he added, turned, and walked off.
Ryan stayed frozen, unable to move an inch, dumbfounded as tears threatened to spill out. Adrian was cruel, but he knew he wasn't entirely wrong. What had he been thinking? That Adrian Val, one of the top students in the entire school, would drop everything to tutor him?
He sank to the nearest bench, cupping his head in his palms, trying to at least give himself a rest. He hadn't even realized someone tall and slender had been standing nearby the whole time.
"Don't take what he said to heart," a voice said, its firm but gentle hand landing on Ryan's shoulder.
Ryan blinked up at Mike, who had been standing in the corner. Now bending down to bring his face level to Ryan's, he wiped off a drop of tears. "Adrian's quite sensitive right after a workout. Just be patient with him and he'll gradually cool off."
Mike patted his back reassuringly. "So don't be sad, okay? You can just try again next time."
Before Ryan could respond, Mike straightened and called after Adrian, jogging to catch up with him. "Why would you say that to that kid? He was just about to cry."