MUSIC RECOMMENDATION {SLANDER, DYLAN MATTHEW: LOVE IS GONE—ACOUSTIC}
How can I push people away not because I don't care but because I care too much to get hurt again.
The truth to myself, I think the hardest part is realizing you were never scared to lose me. I was the one fighting, holding on, trying to fix things, while you were already halfway through the door. You never loved me the way I loved you and accepting that has been its own kind of heartbreak.
Funny enough, how I must let go off my comfort zone "my safe haven" because it doesn't feel comfortable "feel safe" again. And I must admit that I've missed you to the extent that I think about you without realizing I do. You slip into my mind but not anymore as I have to let go off the one that lives rent free in my heart and mind. Taking this decision is painful but I must learn to live without you, learn to stop checking my phone, to stop hoping that you will still come back, to stop believing love alone could save us. I know healing is slow, but I am trying to, even if a part of me still wishes you had stayed.