"Wanda, listen to me. I love you. Have you forgotten the wonderful memories of our wild and unrestrained passion last night?"
"Get out! Get out now, I never want to see you again."
Jack wanted to explain, but it was useless. The current Wanda was like a lioness, injured and unable to move, yet full of imposing fury.
The moment Jack backed out of the room, Natasha Romanoff, standing outside the door, greeted him with sarcasm.
"Oh my, oh my~ If I hadn't returned from my business trip, were you planning to become a Time Management Master, dear Darling?"
Natasha Romanoff closed the distance between them, pressing herself against Jack, causing the pillow he was holding to deform. But Jack didn't dare move an inch.
Feeling the cold blade against his groin, no man would dare move.
One wrong step leads to eternal regret.
(⃔っ¯͒﹏¯͒c) "Dear, you need to calm down. If your hand slips, the happiness of your entire life will be cut in half."
"Oh? Even like this, you're still so tough. Today isn't even over yet, and you're already thinking about the rest of your life?"
Jack forced a smile (⌒ㅂ⌒;): "Well, a man has to have some backbone. I can't live off a woman forever, right?"
Natasha Romanoff dropped her smile and coldly placed the blade on his leg. The chilling sensation immediately sent Jack into survival mode.
"You now have two choices."
"First, cut it off. The three of us will owe nothing to each other."
"I choose two, I choose two!" Jack immediately blurted out.
Hearing this, Wanda, inside the room, threw something—it wasn't clear what—against the door.
"Jack, you bastard! You choose her over me? Just let her cut it off! Wouldn't that mean you could be with me then!" (The '1' is intentional)
Jack: (̿▀beneficial▀ ̿‧̣̥̇)̄ "It's easy for you to say! I don't even have a happy brand blade, how am I supposed to cut my cock off? If I cut it off, do you want me to play the role of an impotent husband afterward?" (The '1' is intentional)
Hearing Wanda's shouts from inside, Natasha Romanoff burst out laughing.
"Fine, since you chose option two, I'll just leave."
Jack: Huh? (๑•̌ࡇ•̑๑)ˀ̣ˀ̣
"You know my heart. I can't have children, and I can't give you a complete marriage. So I can only wish you happiness. Cherish this girl well. She must be very angry right now, meeting a scumbag like you for her first time."
As Natasha Romanoff said this, her eyes reddened, and she turned to leave.
"Didn't you feel pain too? This is our first relationship as well."
Jack grabbed Natasha Romanoff.
"You know... so I wish you happiness."
As Natasha spoke, tears welled up in the corners of her eyes. After all, she was still a 19-year-old girl.
What man wouldn't feel heartbroken seeing the young, fresh Black Widow looking like this?
Jack's expression hardened, as if he had made a decision that would lead to the sacrifice of billions of lives in the world.
"Today, neither of you is leaving."
"My silly girl, how could I let you leave?"
Natasha struggled to break free from Jack's embrace, but given her physical fitness, how could she possibly shake off Jack, who possessed the Steel Kidney Body?
He pulled Natasha into his arms, picked her up, and kicked open the bedroom door.
Wanda had initially thought this bastard was coming in to comfort her, but she didn't expect him to walk in holding the 'main mistress.'
Furious, Wanda grabbed a pillow nearby and hurled it at Jack.
Jack didn't dodge. He grinned sinisterly and said, "Today, no one is walking out of this room alive. Heheheh—"
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After a night with Jack, Natasha Romanoff and Wanda couldn't take any more. They eventually swore to Stan Lee that they would forever be loyal to their Master.
Far away in 616, the Old Man watched the passing herd of black and white cows and felt a strange sensation, as if he had been stepped on.
"What is this feeling? How strange. Dears~ Let's wear this outfit tonight."
"Aiya~ You're annoying. I'm just a little bit bigger, and you want me to wear this black and white pattern? Even if I wear it, you won't have anything to drink."
"Tonight, I bought the same style outfit as Captain America~"
The old man smirked: "Then tonight, I'll dress up as Bucky Barnes."
..."You dare roll your eyes at me? Neither of you is leaving this room tonight."
The two women, dazed, nodded weakly.
Ring, ring, ring—
The phone rang. Jack picked up Natasha Romanoff's phone; Natasha, having just undergone 'severe interrogation,' was in no state to answer.
"'Black Trust Barrier Anti-Social Personality'—this note must be for Black Egg, right?"
"Wei?" Jack answered the phone with a Chinese greeting.
"A Huaxia person? What did you do to Natasha?" The voice on the other end sounded agitated.
Jack recognized the voice instantly: it was Nick Fury.
"I am your wild daddy, the trash your mom didn't like. Natasha is mine. If you call her again to harass her, you'll be waiting for the whip. Son of a Bitch."
Jack spoke Chinese for everything except the last sentence. He hung up and blocked Black Egg to prevent him from interrupting his 'interrogation.'
Nick Fury was furious. He hadn't understood a single word of the Chinese, but he had understood the last sentence.
He! Nick Fury! Director of the Strategic Homeland Intervention, Enforcement and Logistics Division! Had been cursed at!
"Hill, find me an Agent who speaks Chinese! Translate it for me, translate it!"
Agent Hill rubbed the pressure points behind her ears to relieve the pain caused by the sound in her headset, which resembled a chimpanzee's screech.
Agent Hill started looking for an Agent who spoke Chinese, but she couldn't find one!
Previously, the Director—that paranoid individual with trust issues—had purged all Chinese-speaking personnel to cooperate with the President. Consequently, the Strategic Homeland Intervention, Enforcement and Logistics Division currently had no one who spoke Chinese.
She hadn't realized this before, but now it was clear they needed to recruit some Chinese-speaking Agents.
HYDRA: Great! We've managed to plant another batch of people.
Agent Hill suddenly remembered an intern list she had seen earlier. It seemed one of the Agents had listed Chinese as a special skill on their resume.
She found the intern's resume and placed a call.
Jack, who was preparing a nourishing meal for his two 'prisoners,' heard his phone ring and answered immediately.
"Wei?"
Hearing that unique greeting, Hill knew she had found the right person.
"Agent Jack, please report to headquarters immediately. There is a new mission."
Jack refused without hesitation: "I refuse. I'm taking the day off, and I'm currently with my girlfriends, hmm~ you understand?"
After speaking, he slapped his own butt, producing a crisp sound.
Hill rubbed her forehead: "Alright, nine tomorrow morning, come to my office."
"No problem, my beautiful, kind, generous, wise, and undressing Agent Hill."
Agent Hill listened to Jack's Chinese flattery. Although she didn't understand it, she found it very pleasing; she knew that some Chinese 'compressed packages' were indeed beautiful.
Jack put his phone aside and placed the Stir-fried Beef with Yellow Peppers, Flavorful Eggplant, and Cauliflower Stir-fried with Meat onto the table.
Then he carried in the lukewarm rice porridge and fed the two women mouth-to-mouth.
The two women, still groaning, instinctively ate a lot. Wanda, being more heavily 'injured,' still tried to snatch food from Natasha, but Jack stopped her and personally fed Wanda some sticky rice porridge... Now relaxed, Jack lay on the dry bed, Wanda on his left and Natasha on his right, and began checking the system.
[Daily Check-in System]
[Daily Check-in Complete. Strength +1]
Jack opened the system panel and began checking his various stats.
[Host: Jack]
[Skills: None]
[Physique: Steel Kidney Body (dddd)]
[Weapons: Tactical Goggles (Lock-on Version), Infinite Ammo Desert Eagle]
[Items: None]
Strength: 20
Speed: 12
Spirit: 15
[The limit for a normal person's stats is 10]
"After 10 points, every point of Strength adds one ton of power, and corresponding physical fitness increases. Speed increases less, and I haven't seen much pattern there. Spirit must be increased; there are too many mind control abilities out there, so I definitely need to invest in it."
"Time to sleep. Let's do some loving things before bed."
Early the next morning, Jack rode his bicycle ten kilometers to the Strategic Homeland Intervention, Enforcement and Logistics Division headquarters—the Triskelion Building—for work.
"Good morning, beautiful Officer. What mission do you have for me today?"
Agent Hill didn't even look up and immediately banished Jack: "Go find the Director. He has something he needs you for."
"Fine. I didn't expect to end up working for a black species."
"Watch your language. Racial discrimination is prohibited in the Strategic Homeland Intervention, Enforcement and Logistics Division."
Hill reminded Jack to mind his words.
"Understood. I won't say that in front of the evil black forces, lest I provoke their fragile hearts."
Jack knocked loudly on Nick Fury's door.
"Agent Jack, next time you can ring the doorbell. It works better. This door is very sturdy, and very expensive."
Jack curled his lip, completely unwilling to deal with this person with trust issues, but he endured it for the sake of joining HYDRA and avoiding a few years of detours.
He pulled up a chair and sat opposite Nick Fury: "Alright, tell me, why did you call me here?"
"I am your superior. Is this how you treat your superior?" Nick Fury's dark face showed suppressed rage.
"This is the U.S. Even when working, I am free. Hurry up and tell me what the matter is. I'm very busy; I still need to go do a mission with the naturally beautiful, graceful, charming, elegant, and wise Agent Hill."
Nick Fury thought: Sure enough, Huaxia people should be purged. It's the Japs and the Koreans who are obedient; they don't even fight back when beaten or scolded.
Nick Fury was getting angrier because he realized Jack's voice and tone were very similar to the person who answered Natasha's phone yesterday.
"Translate this passage."
Jack looked at the desk, which was entirely covered in screens, and had only one thought: steal it. Why should someone with a dark, anti-social personality like you have this, while the common people are still using flip phones?
He clicked play and heard the familiar voice and the familiar words.
"Hiss, let me listen again."
Jack listened again, then sat in the office chair and thought for two seconds.
"What? Is the Chinese difficult to translate?" Nick Fury saw Jack's thoughtful expression and assumed it was a difficult-to-translate four-character Chinese 'compressed package.'
Everyone knows the nightmare of United Nations translators: the Chinese 'compressed package.'
"It's not difficult. Are you sure you want me to translate it?"
"Of course. Hurry up and translate it for me. Our excellent Agent went missing in this person's hands."
Jack straightened his clothes, cleared his throat, stood up, and started cursing immediately.
"I am your wild daddy, the trash your mom didn't like. Natasha is mine. If you call her again to harass her, you'll be waiting for the whip. Son of a Bitch."
This time, Jack delivered the English version. Nick Fury seemed so provoked that his dark face looked like it was dripping water.
"Director, I've finished the translation. If you don't believe me, you can find someone else to translate it."
Jack sat down, scratched his head, and felt completely relaxed.
"Agent Jack, how is Agent Natasha Romanoff? Natasha must have been very happy last night, right? She couldn't even answer the phone."
Jack: ୧(⌒ ̫ ⌒)
"Ahaha, Director, you shouldn't speak such plain truth! How could I possibly play games with a gorgeous woman like Agent Natasha Romanoff and other beautiful girls?"
Nick Fury: (ꐦʘ̆beneficialʘ̆ꐦ) You weren't just with Natasha? There was another beautiful girl?
Jealousy made Black Egg look hideous.
"Agent Jack, I regret to inform you that your internship performance is unsatisfactory. You may now go pack your things."
Jack stood up, turned around, and disappeared at the doorway.
Nick Fury rubbed his forehead, only to see a head suddenly appear in the doorway. "Even if you beg me, I won't..."
Before Nick Fury finished speaking, Jack blurted out a long sentence.
"Trust-issue, emotionally deprived person who was unloved since childhood, go eat shit. Natasha also quit. Son of a Bitch."
(ꐦ￣dish￣)convex
He thoughtfully included Natasha's happy finger, allowing that bastard to truly benefit.
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